As promised, after a long hiatus i am posting up a new top 5 for the lads to have a chuckle and bust some more balls after our what can only be deemed as epic stay at Joe Kools during the Canada/USA Gold Medal hockey game. A monster bill (see below), taps running dry, traitorous jerseys, free toques & beer cozys, beer-soaked swackets and lost voices can all be attributed to the glorious day. To anyone outside of our circle reading this, Gay, Vagina and Gerg are actual people. Killer and myself missed the list as we were completely out-gayed.

Top 5 Gayest Things Said During Gold Medal Game Day, Joseph Koolisky's, London ON, Feb. 28, 2010

1. GAY (Vagina, referring to a ball hockey wager, states to Gay that he should but his hockey stick where his mouth is. Gay responds...) "Why don't i put my cock where your mouth is!"
2. GAY "Do you want to know what the average midget penis size is?"
3. VAGINA "Are you going to eat that celery?"
4. VAGINA (As a soft aside to our server...) "Can i have a bunch of lime slices please?"
5. VAGINA (Vag sees Brian Burke on the TV and states with all sincerity...) "That's a really nice haircut!"

Honourable Mentions - GERG: (Locating a toothpick-sized Canada flag within the shared wings, squeals out...) "Yay!"; GAY: (After Vag steals the second spare pickle of the day...) "That's my pickle!"; VAG (aside to Gerg, within what context i have no idea...) "I could grab your balls."

As suggested by the Bri man, i'm going to post up a top 5 'best' list for the past year, except instead of milking it for weeks by changing topics, this one list will comprise them all: 1-album, 2-movie, 3-book, 4-concert, 5-TV series. It was a fairly solid year for many releases, movies in particular, so choosing only one should prove quite interesting.

1. Bruce Springsteen - Seeger Sessions. A tough call for sure, but The Boss wins out. It's his liveliest album in years, and the 'off the floor' jamming vibe is a throwback to the way albums used to be recorded. The material, players and instrumentation are all second to none, proving that you're never too old to return to your roots, or in this case the roots of american music.
2. Stranger Than Fiction. As-yet-to-be-viewed movies notwithstanding, this nifty little journey taken by Will Ferrell is a fantastical (and believable) combination of reality and fantasy.
3. Chuck Klosterman IV. Books are tough to call, as you are rarely reading a book released within the current year, so out of the few i have that would qualify, this collection of Chuck's pop culture articles in their original unedited form, along with new prefaces, tops my list. Bob Dylan: The Essential Interviews would top my list of books 'received but as of yet unread', and A Season in Hell with the Rolling Stones would be on there for 'currently reading and is awesome thus far'.
4. Gomez - The Guvernment. Many big names came through town this year, but getting to see one of my fave bands for the first time, touring a new record, and putting on a damn fine show to boot was a highlight. Extra points scored for the bass player getting drunker as the show went on until he was sitting on the drum riser for the rest of the night!
5. Dexter. A very recent discovery, i ended up watching the whole first season On Demand over a couple of nights. Serial killers have never had so much (pretend) personality. I am now torn between waiting for the coming season, or getting the next book that it is sure to be based on.

Random top 5's may appear now and then, with this sweet topic being one of them. Let's just say anyone is fair game with the exception of The Fonz, who was elevated to god-like status when Peter started the Church of The Fonz on Family Guy. Ayyyyy.

Top 5 Sitcom Characters

1. Sam Malone - Cheers. The ultimate sitcom 'guy's guy'. Ladies, ladies, ladies, Sam Malone is in the hizzouse!
2. Larry Dallas - Three's Company. The greatest sleazeball womanizer of the 70's that didn't have to pretend he was gay.
3. Dr. Johnny Fever - WKRP. "All right fellow babies, that was The Doors, and this is sort of Johnny Fever, kind of doctor. And after... nine drinks, Venus Flytrap is catatonic, and I, myself, have personally just seen a giant pig. He is currently painting the walls of our lobby."
4. Frank Costanza - Seinfeld. Festivus, the Bro, the stop-short... shall i go on?
5. Jamie Coleman - Men Behaving Badly. Rob Schneider had a fantastic sitcom in the mid 90's that lasted a season and a half, mining the best material from the 'roommates and girlfriends' genre. (Probably loosely based on life at The Palace.) It was sadly cancelled shortly after the second season but i caught a rumour on IMDB that a February DVD release might be on the horizon. My anticipation for the new year just increased tenfold!

Since it was such a popular choice last week, here's Gay #2...

This topic is also a blast from the past....and all toys are fair game here....going from simple stuff to electronic.

Top 5 Childhood Toys

1. Atari 2600 - I played this thing so much my parents had to buy another tv because some of the games were burning into the tube....ha ha. This was great for me because I now had my own TV and play-room...... I could play whenever I wanted.... my buddies loved it. My Mom didn't because this usually meant lots of friends staying for dinner and sleep-over parties.
2. Transformers - These toys were really cool. Granted they were very expensive and I remember having to beat someone's Mom to one around Christmas time..... I even remember her calling me a "Fucking Brat" and my Mom almost punching her out at the Toys R Us.... good times.
3. Army Men - I had hundreds of these things and would spend hours in my backyard making them bases and forts. My friends would come over and we would have war games....each kid would set up their army and then we used socks to blow up the other team. The guy with the last green army man standing won.
4. Hockey Cards - I can still remember buying them packs at a time and having a gum ball the size of a baseball in my mouth. We used to play games with the cards at recess throwing them up against a wall..... closest one..... keep throwing until someone over-lapped a card....or who would bounce off the wall the furthest. If I only knew how much that Gretzky Rookie card was going to be I would have kept them..... hindsight.
5. Table Top Hockey - This game even now would probably be right up there with Guitar Hero!!! My Dad and I used to play for hours. I remember back then too kids would order their guys with their favourite teams and kids would come over and we would switch the guys up every game.... winner stayed.

Honourable Mentions: Rubiks Cube.....was cool when it first came out then lost its luster. Pet Rock.... who woulda thought some dude would make millions by gluing some eyes to a simple rock.... but I am sure we all had them. Cabbage Patch Kids..... while I never owned one I just remember going with my Mom to the Mall at Christmas time to help her get one for my little sister. Let's just say I got all my speed from my Mom. We both got to the stack of them and both got one. My Mom sold the second one to a lady for $600 which back in in 83-84 was a good score. It was all I could eat at McDonald's.... ha ha.


Posted by scotty at 06:58 AM

Ladies and gentlemen (and i use that term loosely), i bring you Gay's first guest post....

This week's top 5 will be a flashback to those yester-years of television.....given the age difference for some.....I am sure there will be lots of variety. Note.....this topic is for non-cartoon shows as it was already covered in a recent post.

Top 5 TV Shows from when you were young

1. Battlestar Galactica - "By your command" I am sure there are few from my generation that didn't see this show. Although created because of all the hype from "Star Wars" this show had its own flavour. It tended to push the limits a little further with babes...booze.....and gambling......and of course the death of a few cylons and colonial warriors. For all those fans of the old show it is being shown on Space TV......I am not a big fan of the new show.
2. The Dukes of Hazzard - It was inevitable that were would be at least one tv show about cars on here. The short list was between Startsky & Hutch.....Knight Rider.....Hardcastle & McCormick....and the Dukes. The Dukes won hands down if not just strickly based on the T&A equation. How many of you out there had the die cast set that had the General Lee.... Daisy's Jeep.... Jesse's truck..... Cooter's Tow-Truck.... Boss Hogg's Caddy..... and Roscoe's Police Car?
3. C.H.i.Ps - Granted this could have been lumped in with the car shows but I just couldn't do it. There was never a bad guy that Ponch and John couldn't catch on their motorcycles. And the funky 70's beats kept your head bouncin'.
4. Night Court - This show used to run on the same night as Cheers....and at times I thought it was funnier and better written. It was always a little quirkier than Cheers and maybe thats why I thought it had more appeal. It had a great cast with each adding their odd character traits into the story lines.
5. Wrestling - I am sure there are very few guys out there that weren't glued to the TV whenever it came on. Whether it was the cheesy Canadian stuff that used to broadcast on Saturday afternoons......or Saturday Night's Main Event at night......this was before it was on daily!!!! And the big names were Greg "the hammer" Valentine...... The "Junkyard Dog"..... Jimmy "the Superfly" Snuka...... Tito Santana..... and the list goes on.

A very linear, yet fitting top 5 for the big one double oh. The Captain suggested taking more of a pragmatic approach to it, so here she be. Previous lapses notwithstanding, this could be my last one for a while, so give'er!

Top 5 Most Memorable Costumes (that you've worn)

1. Hunter S. Thompson. Hunter is my failsafe, last minute costume that is quite easily compiled from my not-so-standard wardrobe of Hawaiian shirts and large sunglasses. I have used Hunter to go incognito to parties, and assembled a hasty version over in Budapest for an impromptu Halloween outing. You can dig this photo as evidence.
2. The Dude. The Dude was rocked last Halloween quite effectively, save for the fact that the Captain's Walter was erroneously construed as George Thorogood. You can check out that sweet magic here.
3. Disco Dude. I got great mileage out of my dad's 70's pants (when they fit) and hat, coupled with a few thrift shop items and my grandma's old wig.
4. Jeremy Roenick. A last millisecond sporting of Matty's Roenick jersey and toque (Blackhawks of course), along with the mantra for the evening; "I'm Roenick!"
5. Robin. Not the ultra-gay green and red speedo'd Robin, but the only semi-gay black and red second generation one. I'm sure many have seen the classic shot of myself, guy Jarvis as Batman, and Vagina as Superman. It's probably the first and last photo to feature us both in tights and with hair.

As mentioned to some, this week's list is the companion piece to the last top 5. Anyone who listed up actual living persons last week is welcome to transfer said list or create a totally new one if the mood strikes. We may still be on the party tip next week, so save a little ammo.

Top 5 Real Party People

1. Hef.
2. Sean Combs. This cat apparently spares no expense when it comes to throwing the ultimate party.
3. Tommy Lee. Need i say more?
4. Jack Nicholson. His Mulholland Drive pad was a 70's party hub, and he said in a recent Rolling Stone interview that last year he'd slept with women 'from 26 up to 61'. The dude is 69 years old!
5. Keith Moon. Moon the loon was, from all accounts, the rock and roll party madman. Hopefully the upcoming biopic can bring the insanity to the big screen good and proper.

It's a great time of year to party (as most times are), with weddings upon us, visitors from abroad, my 100th top 5 approaching, the return of football and hockey, and a thanksgiving long weekend a couple of weeks away. With all that said, let us list up the following...

Top 5 Fictional Party People

1. Frank the Tank. The Tank knows how to party like it's 1999, and shows the kids how the old school does it. Beer bongs, streaking, sedatives, costumes, KY wrestling, blow-up dolls and re-gifting are all weapons in his vast arsenal of party tricks.
2. Wooderson. The classic party gentleman, he never gets too dazed or confused while keeping the party shifting in various directions to see the night through to it's fullest potential, all while under the influence of a whole host of intoxicants.
3. Eric 'Otter' Stratton. Otter is the consummate party professional. He does it right or he doesn't do it. Various triumphs include the ultimate toga party (it wasn't an orgy) and the Dean's wife. That was Eric Stratton. He was damn glad to meet you.
4. Mike "Gandalf" Ganderson, The Party Wizard. "You just go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia."
5. Dan O'Callahan. Dan elevated the ski party to the next level; he took it to the hills, the hot tubs and the bedrooms. It's almost that time of year when i dust off Hot Dog for it's annual airing. Perhaps i'll throw a party.

I usually try and stimulate some type of (semi) intelligent conversation within the top 5's that goes immediately to shit anyway, so this week i'm just gonna let it all hang out and resort to the primal instincts. Killer, porns don't qualify here; they are a topic (perhaps upcoming) unto themselves!

Top 5 Hottest Actresses in Film

1. Scarlett Johansson. She's fab in Lost in Translation, looks promising in some recent shit i haven't seen yet, became Woody Allen's new muse, and had the 'balls' to pose nude for Vanity Fair's Hollywood edition. Far out!
2. Elisha Cuthbert. If she didn't make every thirtysomething schmo want to start a frat with her Old School appearance, try calling on The Girl Next Door. Am i wrong, Killer? Plus, she's Canuckian!
3. Jessica Biel. She came out with a coked-up bang in The Rules of Attraction, and now gets calls for roles that Scarlett has probably already turned down. I want to dig The Illusionist though, it looks cool.
4. Salma Hayek. Desperado got the ball rolling, and the deal was sealed with the "i'd give my left nut to drink liquor from her toes" scene in From Dusk Till Dawn. Do you think Quentin wrote himself into that scene by accident? Genius! Kudos to Chilli for reminding me that i almost let this one slip by. What a girl!
5. Rachel Bilson. The Last Kiss will explain what i'm talkin' about. She's a little college cutie that caused me undue harm in the theatre.

So how was everybody's long weekend?

Top 5 Long Weekend Happenings

1. We had 3 bags of grass, 78 ounces of vodka, a quart of Jack, a quart of Sambuca, a 40 of Crown, 6 bottles of wine, reds, whites.... Also 7 cases of beer and a 26er of rum. The only thing that worried me was the rum. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of a rum n' coke binge, and i knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.
2. The Ultimate Cottage Dance Party. I dusted off some of my old Mo' Gravy moves and got the fuck down.
3. The Standing Pass. I apparently passed out standing up, while still nodding my head rocking out to the jams, while my beer slipped out of my hand and crashed to the floor, waking me back up again. See point 1 for clarification.
4. Phil Spiderman. Seasons 1-8 of Friends were available for DVD viewing, so everyone's fave episodes were searched out and watched. I was looking for the "His name's not... Phil Spiderman, he's a spider-MAN!" conversation, and found it 5 minutes from the end of the last episode we watched. Far fucking out.
5. The Man. Damon Allen set professional football's all time passing yardage record during the Argos thrashing of the Ticats in the annual Labour Day Classic.

I think we should hold off on the pad-naming until an official housewarming party is called and we can all get a vibe on the place. Vag, the balls are in your court! I have come up with a topic that i think we can all get into, either from a band or an audience point of view.

Top 5 Guaranteed Bar Gig Happenings

1. 'Gear Bowling'. Some drunk ass will always stumble/trip/dance/fall/topple into your shit. Always. Guaranteed.
2. The 'Sublimely Hip Jam' Rule. No gig ever passes without a request for the holy trinity: Sublime, The Hip or PJ. This rule has been without exception since the Fall/Winter of 2002 when i hooked up with the Tribbianis.
3. The Cliche/Obscure Combo Factor. Example: "Can you play Brown Eyed Girl? No? How about some Fountains of Wayne?!"
4. The 'Wrong Band' Request. Can you play Home For A Rest by Great Big Sea?
5. The 'I don't really know what i'm talking about' request.
   Example: "Can you play some Stones?"
   "Sure man."
   (Band plays Dead Flowers.)
   Two songs later, "How about that Stones i asked for?"
   "We just played it!?!#"

Ok, let's round out these lists of top musicians (keys aren't gonna qualify for this round, sooo sorry) with the ultimate prima donna listing - the lead vocalist, or solo singer, or whomever you choose to exalt. Once again all genres are valid; rock, crooner, or opera if you so choose. How many singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one; they hold up the bulb and wait for the room to revolve around them.

Top 5 Singers/Vocalists

1. Burton Cummings. Burton rocks the rock, melts panties with ballads, and is Canadian to boot. Fuckin' eh!
2. John Fogerty. Nobody does a classic rock wail like John. Noooooobodyyyy! See: Fortunate Son.
3. The Band. I'm listing The Band as a singular voice because a: it's my top 5 and b: they were all lead vocalists. Richard's falsetto, Rick's bittersweet lilt, and Levon's southern drawl all added up to the greatest combination of voices in American music.
4. Martin Sexton. The dude's voice is like another instrument!
5. Sebastian Bach. The pipes, the ego, the hair. Bas could light it up like no other rocker from days gone by. If i was a singer in my early cock rock bands, i'd have wanted to be Bas.

The singers are on hold for a week, i had to drop this one in...

Marty Party's Top 5 BBQ Party Rules

1. BYOC - Bring Your Own Cooler. This allows for the luxury of carrying your booze and storing your wallet and keys in a safe, enclosed container as to avoid misplacement once the drinks start flowing.
2. The Corey Hart Rule - sunglasses at night.
3. Proper Bathroom Etiquette. If the inside john is free, use it, but open the window so you can still join the party while peeing. If said john is occupied, the back of the yard is your friend.
4. No ice = stronger beverage.
5. Keep the party moving. Socialize, flirt, joke and relocate the party when necessary. Continue to drink in excess while impressing friends and passersby with feats of strength.

This week's top 5 enters into arguably the most overblown category of musician; the guitarist. The iconic image of modern rock music is also the most saturated. Just check your local 'musicians available' listings for confirmation of that. Most of us, i predict, will be thinking rock on this one, but all genres are available to you. I will once again forego detailed explanation, as well as blatant choices, as hopefully the player and style will speak for themselves. Plus, rambling on about guitarists bores me, frankly. \m/

Top 5 Guitarists

1. Django Reinhardt.
2. Warren Haynes.
3. Trey Anastasio.
4. Bruce Cockburn.
5. Martin Sexton.

We're back in action with the top 5 this week, and as promised we move around the rhythm section to the big bad bass. You've had 3 weeks to think, so let's get at'er! I'm a wee bit tired at the mo, so explanations may have to follow later tomorrow if i get back on it.

Top 5 Bass Players

1. John Paul Jones.
2. Larry Graham.
3. Flea.
4. John Entwistle.
5. Juan Nelson.

Welcome to the inaugural top 5 from my new abode. I have the new office rockin', with images of The Band, Jim and Lebowski set to grace it's walls. They should serve as sweet inspiration for the weeks to come as we head back to the musical realm and hit on topics i should have covered long ago. With the theme at hand we should be in for 4, maybe 5 top 5's featuring different instruments. This could get well out of hand, so i'll keep it (for now) to instruments featured within the modern band format. The top 5 pan flute players could be well on down the line. Happy birthday Chilli!!

1. John Bonham. The King, The Myth, The Legend. Bonzo's the reason i kept on keepin' on; a true rock monster. The grooves, the power and the often overshadowed subtleties were the keys to Bonham's castle. A classic rock and roll death iced the man but created the legend.
2. Steve Gadd. A studio legend and the man behind Paul Simon's most legendary grooves; the original NYC session badass.
3. Clyde Stubblefield/Jabo Starks. The men responsible for James Brown's funky funk must be mentioned as one entry since they combined seamlessly to create the grooves on all the classic cuts. My first drum teacher gave me a James tape during one of my first lessons and i never looked back.
4. Levon Helm. The laid back beat behind The Band never gets enough credit for creating deceptively complex grooves that sound simple upon first listen; the mark of a true master.
5. Matt Cameron. Matt cracked open the math texts to drive Soundgarden's odd meters into the pop mainstream, no small feat for a 7/4 signature that crunches that hard. He moved on to the straight ahead rock and continues to drive PJ through their best material in years.

Some of these names came up in a conversation with the Captain, so the topic was formed by consensus, and some of his answers will most likely spill over into mine. It's pretty straight forward; the actors listed either have A parts in B movies, or B parts in A movies, but are never the stars of massive hollywood fare. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) For the most part they've had lengthy careers, and in some cases have blurred the line between A and B with consistent, standout performances. Bio links have been provided to facilitate your "Oh, that guy!" moment.

1. Bruce Campbell. The definitive #1 B guy. Fave role: Evil Dead II.
2. J.T. Walsh. You know him every time you see him, but can't name two movies he's been in. Fave role: Breakdown.
3. Danny Trejo. Need a badass? Call Danny. Fave Role: Desperado.
4. Powers Boothe. Probably the closest thing to A list here (Sin City, HBO's Deadwood) but always slightly in the background. Fave Role: Tombstone.
5. Parker Posey. Crowned as the Indie Movie Queen, she's always up for the quirky girl/bitch role, and always nails it. Fave Role: Best in Show.

Not quite back to music... for one more week anyway.

Top 5 TV Cartoons

1. Bugs Bunny/Looney Tunes - One cartoon to rule them all.
2. Super Friends - For some reason i thought Aquaman was the shit?!
3. Scooby Doo - Hot bitches, potheads, squares and a talking dog. One of the original drug generation classics.
4. Spider-Man - A lunchtime fave and winner of the "Most Mileage from a Single Background" Award 25 years running.
5. The Smurfs - Oddly compelling.

Again this week i tread uncharted waters with an off-the-wall topic as to avoid being dumped on for too many music-related topics. Come to think of it, it was only Paula that actually said something. Fuck it, i'm going back to music next week! I was gonna do this as a top 1, but then i figured i'd spin it a bit to fill out the full list, as it could end up being kinda hilarious. So for #1, list the famous person that people say you most look like. For #2-5, list who you think some of your friends resemble. It's that easy.

Top 5 Famous People That You and/or Your Friends Resemble

1. Me - Durst. You all know this; you all love this. It's only the backwards hat thing, i swear. I do get a kick out of the new 'White Samuel L.' thing from the Kangol hat. Maybe that one will catch on. Back in the day i actually got a couple of River Phoenix's, believe it or not.
2. Sherk/Metal Vagina - Vin Diesel. I see this one as a slam dunk; nobody else agrees.
3. Nat/Chilli - Lohan/JoJo. The first one was an initial reaction; the second one more of my final answer.
4. The Captain - early Vince Vaughn. We're talking Swingers, not Wedding Crashers, but give him time.
5. Jon/My Boss - Will Ferrell. He gets this a lot, and it can only be due to the large head and vacant stare directed towards moronic customers.

And now, for something completely different...

Top 5 Tips for Comfortable Public Washroom Use

1. Isolation. If you can track down the set of washrooms that are farthest off the beaten path, you'll be more likely to find a crapper that doesn't already have the seat pre-papered. If you can find the 'family' john with the lockable door, all the better!
2. Use the 'big' stall. If you are forced to select from a series of stalls, use the one on the end with the railing. 9.5 times out of 10 it won't have to be pressed into service while you're a shameful occupant.
3. Wait for a finish. If there are others present, which makes for the most uncomfortable of situations, use it to your advantage. Wait for a flush, sink or hand dryer to spring into action to provide cover for your serious business.
4. Make some noise. A well timed cough, snort, stomp, belt jiggle or paper rip will provide a bit of accompaniment for the final push.
5. Space it out. Never, whether sitting or standing, occupy an adjacent unit if there's room for a buffer.

I have been thinking about this one for a while, and i thought that most lists would look the same, but there are once again more than enough options to go around, especially if we are talking about all time. Also, i'm not talking about comic books here, so leave your Superman #1 that's in a UV bag in a box in your closet out of this! So, to head a little off the beaten path, i bring you...

1. The Far Side. The king of warped viewpoints and human animals!
2. Bizarro. Picked up where the Far Side left off, and even more, well, bizarre.
3. Herman. This was my first favourite "adult" comic strip. My dad had all the anthologies to sort through.
4. Hustler. The greatest of the dirty cartoons, especially when you find your friend's dad's stash in public school!
5. Garfield. While shamelessly unfunny now, this was inexplicably my first favourite cartoon when i was young, and i didn't even have a cat to relate it to. Perhaps it was the lasagna. Go figure.


Posted by scotty at 07:09 AM

On the surface this would appear to be geared towards travelers, but your answers could also be local, as well as national/international. If you've been somewhere that's left a lasting impression on you, for whatever reason, then you have some material to work with. From Paris, Ontario to Paris, France, i'm sure everyone's been to at least 5 different cities in their lifetime! I think the Bri Man, Rich and Killerov might need a few days to mull this one over.

1. Budapest, Hungary. Massive, Beautiful, Dirty, Historic, Cultured, Revitalized. I'm sure everyone knows by now that i spent the better part of a year there with 3 other crazy fuckers living and working out of a 4 bedroom flat. For better and for worse, i wouldn't trade that time for the world.
2. Amsterdam, Netherlands. What can one say? Sex, drugs and culture all crammed into one mad canal city.
3. Strba, Slovakia. I'm gonna double check the town name with Gee, but the name of the town is secondary to large 25 cent beers and walks like this.
4. Offenburg, Germany. Our home away from home during the Red/Uisce Beatha European tour, this little town near the French border was everything i envisioned a smaller German town to be; hills, vineyards, cobblestone streets and window boxes filled with flowers. It was also the site of my first out-of-country gig.
5. Bala/Nine Mile Lake, Ontario. I had to list Bala as the closest town to the lake, but i have been to the lake almost every summer as far back as i can imagine and as most of you know, the beauty and solace that can be achieved in Northern (relatively speaking) Ontario is second to none.

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, and i use that term loosely. Our good friend Power Fog (or Lou, to the layperson) is compiling The Ultimate Summer Beer Drinking Mix and is in need of our assistance. Crack a cold one and get down to the business of helping a brutha out!

Top 5 Summer Beer Drinking Songs

1. Free Ride - Edgar Winter Group. A school's out, let's get on the road Dazed and Confused classic.
2. Cold Beverage - G. Love & Special Sauce. Stick it in the fridge, stick it in the fridge, stick it in the fridge!
3. Jet Airliner - Steve Miller. It's Steve Fucking Miller, king of the summertime jams.
4. Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind - Lovin' Spoonful. An old beer commercial staple about deciding between 2 beers and 2 women; the quintessential summertime decision.
5. In the Summertime - Mungo Jerry. It's all in the lyrics; a drink, a drive and women on your mind.

This one was brought on by the 80s theme from last week. I have consciously avoided veering into the cock rock genre as that would turn into a top 50 and is a category unto itself. I'm thinking more of the vintage 80s synth/pop/dance type of shit that dominated outside the mighty realm of metal. Let's like, totally do this!

Top 5 Songs From the 80s

1. Jungle Love - The Time. Morris Day was the coolest motherfucker ever.
2. Relax - Frankie Goes to Hollywood. Frankie says Relax.
3. Darling Nikki - Prince. The original sexy motherfucker.
4. Obsession - Animotion. Saturday Night's Main Event, baby!
5. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' - MJ. Back when Mike was the true King.

Finally switching gears, we enter into the cinematic realm for a week or two. This week we examine the genius, sex and mayhem of the 80s lowbrow comedy. The 80s gave birth to the vulgar, tasteless, ridiculous yet hilarious teen comedy, usually based around the trifecta of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Anything was fair game during the excess of the 80s, and a whole slew of rude and crude teen comedies flooded the theatres. Any comedy from the 80s is fair game here, but let's not think too deeply on this one, because these films sure didn't! My tastes run a little off the beaten path, so i've left open a bunch of mega-classics for y'all to munch on. My initial list was at 14!

Top 5 Goofball 80s Comedies

1. Top Secret! (1984) One of the earlier entries into the 80s sight gag/slapstick genre, this was a classic Zucker/Abrahams film that featured Val Kilmer in his first starring role as Nick Rivers. Cows in rubber boots, underwater barroom brawls, and a French Underground after which several of my friends are still named (Latrine & Chocolate Mousse). This was my 'Lebowski' of the 80s.
2. Hot Dog... The Movie. (1984) The pioneer of the ski comedy genre, this movie had freestyle skiing back when daffys and spread eagles ruled the slopes, titties and beer, and the classic showdown finale: The Chinese Downhill!
3. Sixteen Candles. (1984) From the stable of the master, John Hughes, comes the best geek in modern cinematic history (Farmer Ted), an early Cusack sibling sighting, and the only great thing that Molly Ringwald ever did. No more yankie my wankie, the Donger need food!
4. Stripes. (1981) Another heavyweight in the raunchy comedy category, Ivan Reitman directed one of Bill Murray's finest 80s roles as loser John Winger. The cast is more stacked than the girls in the mud wrestling pit fighting Ox (John Candy), and there are more quotable lines from Bill that were more than likely improved on the spot. Lee Harvey, you are a madman! I want to party with you, cowboy.
5. Private Resort. (1985) This was a classic 'spring break' style sex comedy that featured Johnny Depp in his first starring role, alongside Rob Morrow! The cast also had a young Diceman, some vintage Hector Elizondo, and some dude playing the classic surfer/stoner guy named Mike. Whoaaa, a mom and a dad! I'm hoooome!

This week's question was spawned by the proverbial 'desert island' discussion. However, there won't be 5 options available - only 1. It's actually a two-parter, but will revolve around your one initial answer. The question and subquestion read as follows: If you had to live out your life listening to the complete recorded catalog of ONE band or artist, who would that be, and subquestion, if it came down to a single album by said artist, what would that album be.

The ground rules state that only official album releases qualify, including official live releases, but not bootlegs or greatest hits collections. Clear? Good. Take some time to think about it. Don't get stuck with a one dimensional band for the rest of your life!

1-A: The Band. One band, 3 vocalists, 46 different instruments and as many musical styles all delivering the defining sound of Americana. Nobody sounds like The Band and no band ever will. Their influence had an immediate impact on their peers and is still reaching into the consciousness of modern music today. To quote George Harrison, they are "the best band in the history of the universe." 'Nuff said!

1-B: The Last Waltz is probably the greatest concert achievement ever committed to tape and film. I could die a happy man listening to this seminal event on a daily basis.

cougar (koo′ ger) - n: large American feline (Felis concolor) resembling a lion.

cougar (koo′ ger) - n: a horny, middle-aged (or above) woman, dressed to the nines, out on the prowl looking for young (20-35 year old) men.

The mothership of all cougar bars has been sighted - The Grizzly in Kingston, Ontario!!

1. Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard. Even the band name invokes a mighty (albeit hearing impaired) cat shaking it's mane on the dancefloor in a ritualistic search for an evening mate.
2. Fat Bottomed Girls - Queen. The cougs don't seem to mind dancing to a song that is in direct reference to them.
3. Follow Me - Uncle Kracker. Who knows why??
4. To Be With You - Mr. Big. The definitive cougar ballad anthem is of course Mr. Big's only true hit!
5. Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) - C & C Music Factory. When cougars break out to dance music, it's gotta be a little C & C, or it gets ugly. Ah fuck it, it's always ugly!!

Whether it was just painfully obvious or blatantly overlooked (or both), the Captain has brought to my attention the fact that i have yet to cover this topic in a top 5. Since he in fact made the call, he reserved rights to a couple of songs that would have appeared on my list, but the fever is strong in this category. I did actually pinch one, but that's neither here nor there, so strap on your gold plated diapers and just say it, baby!

Disclaimer: No Blue Oyster Cult or Santana entries allowed; they are already in the Cowbell Hall of Fame.

Top 5 Songs That Feature the Cowbell

1. Good Times Bad Times - Led Zeppelin. This song has a killer groove founded on a thunderous single bass drum pattern and of course the cowbell.
2. Down on the Corner - CCR. A solid cowbell intro continues throughout the song, giving it the rock steady beat and party vibe that it possesses.
3. Low Rider - War. Another party classic revived by the movie Dazed and Confused, with a cowbell intro that's instantly recognizable.
4. The Streetbeater (Sanford & Son) - Quincy Jones. More often than not, i only watched the intro to the show just to groove out to Quincy and his ridiculously dirty track all lathered up with that dang cowbell!
5. Honky Tonk Women - Rolling Stones. I used to love listening to the drum/cowbell intro to this song (of course i still do), but it became slightly tainted for me when i started jamming along to it only to realize that Charlie speeds up the song by like 10 bpm as it goes along! Ahh the beauty of the old live off the floor sessions with no click track. That's rock and roll, baby.

Honourable Genre Mention - Cock Rock. The 80s metal scene carried on the fine tradition of the cowbell within the rock/metal drum track. Band such as G N'R, Poison, Skid Row and Motley Crue embraced the cowbell for ride patterns and unique drum fills. Kudos to all of those bands for encouraging me to add a LP Black Mambo cowbell to my arsenal and never look back!

Killer started it, let's run with it...

Top 5 Uses of 'FUCK'

1. Far fucking out!
2. Fuck - yeah!!
3. Fuckin' A!
4. Fuckin' guy.
5. Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.

Since people were harping on the 'music only' theme of the top 5s, i have combined 2 media together into this week's topic. My picks include a lot of funky jams that can also stand alone as their own entity. I've also covered a few of these with past and current bands, proving the longevity and popularity of these great theme songs. The only thing i ask this week is that nobody cops out and lists pre-existing songs as a theme song, ie: Who songs for the CSIs, etc. Cartoons are totally valid, and there are way more good ones than you initially think (i narrowed mine down from 10), so give'r!

Top 5 TV Show Theme Songs

1. Sanford & Son. Dirty. More Cowbell.
2. Magnum P.I. The shit.
3. Fat Albert. Funky funk.
4. Dukes of Hazzard. The twang-a-lang.
5. The Jeffersons. The gospel.

This week i'm going for singer/songwriters that have had a great impact on pop and folk music over the past several decades. These are guys that write the lyrics and music, perform the songs live, often solo on acoustic guitar, and also have them covered by other artists. We're going for solo artists here, not songwriting teams, which could be another topic down the road. Let's give everyone a get-out-of-jail-free card and say that Bob Dylan would be on most, if not all lists, so he's already accounted for.

1. Neil Diamond. The Diamond is everywhere, whether you know it or not. Songs most extensively covered from his catalogue include I'm a Believer, Red Red Wine, Sweet Caroline and Solitary Man by artists ranging from Johnny Cash to U2. Neil is, as they say, the man. I'm also fairly certain he's been laid as many times as Julio Iglesias and Wilt Chamberlain combined.
2. Neil Young. Neil has reigned for 40 years and counting, both solo and as a member of many seminal folk/rock bands, but is always at his best with an acoustic guitar, harmonica and that fantastic shaky voice.
3. Johnny Cash. The Man, the Myth, the Legend.
4. Cat Stevens. He was the king of the 70s folk rock, selling over 25 million albums before becoming an Islamic fundamentalist and moving into the mountains for 20 years. Crazy bastard.
5. James Taylor. As i once heard it said, "When you hear James Taylor singing, all is right with the world."

Make T-shirts for your friends! Create your own slogan! Apply it to them! List your top 5!

Top 5 T-shirt Slogans For Your Friends

1. For Killer Dave - "Cunning Linguist"
2. For Vagina - "I joined the Hair Club for Men and all i got was this lousy t-shirt!"
3. For Justine - "Zeppelin Sucks"
4. For The Captain - "Fuck the Machine?"
5. For Steveo (The Rosa) - "Mmmmmmmm....."

Footnote: About 70% of these t-shirts could also be worn by me. You figure it out.

I am by no means a record collector. I have a load of cds, but only what would be considered a handful of vinyl, and i can't even play it right now as my last turntable was Vag's over at the Palace! So this week's listing, for me, is about finding things you couldn't find anywhere else, thought were long since unavailable, or just plain cool discoveries. Hopefully, someone's entry will contain some piece of vinyl worth thousands, but sadly not my picks. Somebody please do me proud this week!

Top 5 Used Record Shop Finds

1. Blu Bones - Sink on CD. I, among others, worshipped this band as the torchbearers of new metal in the early to mid 90's, and have seen them perform live countless times. This CD was eagerly anticipated, and while not as heavy as their live shows (how many records really are?) it was a welcome addition to my collection. It was then lost, and the band folded, and we were left with burned copies circulated off of Vagina's very well worn CD. I ended up finding a mint condition copy at Dr. Disc a year or so ago, and when told that Boris from the band didn't even have a copy left, was even more excited at the find. Now they can rock on, forever!
2. The Four Horsemen - S/T on CD. Had an old cassette copy, taped from another cassette, and again Dr. Disc came through with a mint CD for me. The band only put out this one record, then i think they all died, but man does this one record rock fucking hard! Glad to have found it.
3. G N'R - Studio bootlegs on Cassette. This had some great stuff that was leaked out in demo form, long before the internet made this stuff commonplace, and i enjoyed an early version of November Rain while Appetite was still ruling the world.
4. Chuck Mangione Quartet - Alive! on Vinyl. I know you are all scratching your heads here, but i had read that Steve Gadd had some absolutely killer drum breaks on this record, and of course had to track it down. It took me 5 minutes and cost me 3 bucks!
5. Funkadelic - Standing on the Verge of Getting It On on CD. A lot of the Funkadelic stuff is imported from the UK, and the older stuff is harder track down, but this stellar album allows me to listen to Red Hot Mama any time i like. Now i have to find the single release that continues the 8 minute guitar solo on the B side! Can anyone help me out here?

This week's topic is courtesy of the Captain, and to be honest i thought i'd covered this topic already, but upon inspection of the back catalogue it appears that i haven't, so let's get into it. The topic at hand is top 5 debut albums, and my personal criteria, and what i think should be a rough guideline for the selection process is this: don't just select the first album from your favourite band if it doesn't compare to the monumental classics from their discography. For example, the Captain and i discussed the fact that the first albums from the world's biggest bands, the Beatles and the Stones, don't hold a candle to say, the White Album or Exile on Main St. Choose wisely, peruse your full catalogue of music and post up some great records for everyone to dig.

Top 5 Debut Albums

1. The Doors - The Doors. This record stands alongside or above any Doors album, and cast a dark cloud over the Summer of Love by introducing dark psychedelia, unique instrumentation, poetry, mythology and theatre into the arena of 60's rock.
2. Music From Big Pink - The Band. Emerging from Dylan's shadow, The Band wrote an album of pure roots rock that strayed so drastically from the psychedelic music of the times that it influenced everyone from Clapton to Hendrix to reevaluate their approach to their own music.
3. Appetite For Destruction - G N'R. This record tore the spandex off of the cock rock scene and laid the foundation for pure, honest, balls-out raunchy gutter rock well into the 90's.
4. Grace - Jeff Buckley. Buckley's one and only true album release was the cornerstone of singer/songwriter inspiration for years to come. This album directly contributed to the demise of my mid-90's jam/funk band, Kickstand Travolta, as our lead singer was so inspired by this album that it influenced his written material from that point onward, leading to new material that led him down another road. Godspeed to him, as it is a monumental piece of work.
5. Blind Melon - Blind Melon. While not an album that ushered in a new musical direction or that broke terribly new ground, this debut record harkened back to a loose jammy vibe during the heyday of grunge. A feelgood record that still receives regular play in my home.

Note the time of day specified in this week's top 5. It is important to the mood and style of albums selected, and will also differ from a future list containing it's counterpart! Giv'er. (Full explanations to follow, of course.)

Top 5 Nighttime Driving Albums

1. L.A. Woman - The Doors
2. The Bends - Radiohead
3. Get Lost - The Magnetic Fields
4. Rain Dogs - Tom Waits
5. Dark Side - Pink Floyd

Let's have a little fun this week with a more subjective listing. Everyone will have their own opinions about what they find to be the core components of a modern movie soundtrack. Some may be legit, some may be jokes, but all will be deemed relevant here, unless of course, i deem it to be irrelevant. Think in "High Fidelity Mode" and all will be revealed to you.

Top 5 Soundtrack Rules

1. Break out a solid up & coming artist. There are loads of undiscovered bands out there, and few of them get to next level shit without one big break. A soundtrack is a perfect opportunity for said break. For example, 'The Shins will change your life' from Garden State, along with 2 songs on the soundtrack busted them wide open.
2. Use an obscure or album track from a great artist. How many of you own all albums by Dylan, Neil Young and the Stones? Exactly. By mining some lesser known albums by the greats, a solid album track can be unearthed and delivered back to the public ear after years of being overshadowed by the band's hits. For example, Dylan's 'The Man In Me' from The Big Lebowski, Dylan's 'Most of the Time' from High Fidelity, and the Stones' 'Fool to Cry' from Beautiful Girls all prove this point.
3. Rescue/revive a one hit wonder. Think 'I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)' from Shrek and 'Afternoon Delight' from every comedy released in the last 2 years.
4. Don't cover a classic song just to get it on the soundtrack. While The Band's version of 'The Weight' was included within the movie Easy Rider, it was not permitted for use on the actual soundtrack, so a less-than-stellar version by Smith was used. The biggest error in cover judgement had to be GnR's horrendous version of 'Sympathy for the Devil' to close out Interview With the Vampire. Conversely, an excellent cover, such as Townes Van Zandt's 'Dead Flowers' (again from Lebowski) can add new life to a song, movie, career and soundtrack.
5. Always include at least one song from one of the following artists: Bob Dylan, The Stones, Zeppelin, Elton John, Simon & Garfunkel, Nick Drake, The Who or Neil Diamond.



Posted by scotty at 12:00 AM

A day late, but a good one, i think. The topic at hand is top 5 backing bands. This would mean 'So and So and the (insert band here)', or a standalone name altogether, like my #2. I'm interested to see what might surface here, and what people might deem as a backing band. ** add. This morning i thought of 5 or 6 killer new additions to the list, but i'll leave them off for now and give others a chance to look cool. ;) **

Top 5 Backing Bands

1. The Band. - Ronnie Hawkins, Bob Fucking Dylan and most importantly, their own fantastic work.
2. Funk Brothers. - Performed on almost every Motown hit.
3. Booker T & the MGs. - Lots of Atlantic R&B, Blues Brothers and their own stuff.
4. The Heartbreakers. - Petty of course.
5. Crazy Horse. - Neil of course.


Posted by scotty at 08:35 AM

Top 5 Concerts Attended 2005

1. Tom Petty/Black Crowes - Pine Knob. This wins out because it was my first Petty show, filled with da hits, along with the Crowes (second time last year) playing lotsa first album tracks. Also, Pine Knob (DTE Energy Theatre) is a fab place for an outdoor show, complete with the huge guitar beers.
2. DMB - ACC. Best Dave i've seen, great seats, live bootleg a week after courtesy of the Bri Man.
3. Pearl Jam - JLC. I heard the t.dot show was a bit cooler, but i wasn't at that one!
4. Black Crowes - Kool Haus. My first taste of the Crowes in a while, complete with a heavy dose of Southern Harmony, and live CDs right after the show. Far fucking out.
5. The Crue - JLC. Not as good as the Dr. Feelgood tour back in their prime, but a welcome spectacle nonetheless back onto the concert scene, save for Vince's sporadic vocal dropouts.

Continuing on with the same 'best' theme from last week, let's move over to the cinema and list'em up. This time there shall be no 'discovered in' blanket, just the best films of '05, straight up.

Top 5 Movies of 2005 (that i've seen)

1. Dig! I believe this first made the festival scene in '04, but didn't receive full release until '05, so i can honestly sneak it in as my top pick. This is an unbelievable rock n' roll documentary cranked up to 11. I am a newfound convert to the revivalist ways of the Brian Jonestown Massacre, and could probably watch this film on a weekly basis and not tire of it's pure rock exploits. The music, the bands, the biz, the drugs, the insanity; they're all present in flying colours. Do yourself a favour and dig this film asap!
2. Sin City. Finally, a comic book (sorry, graphic novel) movie the way it should be done. Marv rules the world.
3. Wedding Crashers. The annual entry in the Vince Vaughn laugh-fest category. He's on a roll, babies!
4. No Direction Home. Bobby D as intimately as he's ever been seen. Still not all the layers of the onion, but fucking great nonetheless!
5. Broken Flowers. Bill Murray picks up where he left off with Lost in Translation and plays deadpan comedy to perfection. The way the movie is left open to interpretation has me onto a third viewing within a one week period. That's good cinema. As a sidenote, i'm also exploring a theory that the movie subtly references other Murray films, but another viewing is required to either confirm, or disconfirm that suspicion.

Welcome back (both bloggers and the PC) and happy new year! Now that the retail hell has subsided and work hours have returned to manageable levels, let's get back to rockin'. The topic allows some flexibility so as to not have everyone listing the same shit (and to avoid a complete year-end cliche), so if you also discovered a sweet album last year, it too is fair game.

Top 5 Albums of (or discovered in) 2005

1. Stereophonics - Language, Sex, Violence, Other? A recent discovery on the rock front, the Stereophonics came to my attention during the Live8 concerts. Seeing them perform Dakota in front of 10s of thousands of people gave me one of my live chills of the year, and that was just over webcast! See my 'Concert Regrets' listing for another not-so-great Stereophonics reference.
2. Stereophonics - You Gotta Go There to Come Back. A fine companion piece to the aforementioned album.
3. White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan. This is on many a year-end list this year, and with very good reason - the Stripes add piano and marimba into the mix!
4. John Mayer Trio - Try! John has strapped on a pair of brass balls and tapped into the spirit of Stevie Ray on this scorching/sweet live release. It also doesn't hurt to have 2 session giants as your rhythmic backbone. This one hasn't left the car yet.
5. Gary Jules - Trading Snakeoil for Wolftickets. Some of my friends didn't get quite as excited over this guy as i did, but you can't beat it for a modern day, Paul Simonesque ode to La-La Land.

I'm back with a semi-not-as-often post, but seeing as it's a top 5, she's all gooooood. Self explanatory title; please try not to cry into your keyboards as you lament over what could have been within the live rock stratosphere. 8-|

Top 5 Live Concert Regrets

1. Missing Stereophonics opening for Bowie. The Captain and myself, never having quite absorbed the Stereophonics at that point, decided it would make better sense to consume more Coors Light tallboys at the Palace than it would be to check the 'opening' band. A short time after, the Stereophonics moved sharply up my list of recently discovered kickass rock bands, and it dawned on me that we could have witnessed this rock mayhem in a live setting, followed by Bowie! Fuck me.
2. Passing on Lollapaloozas 1 & 2. Having witnessed a lifetime of live gems during the 3rd and 4th installments (which were considered to be less than stellar compared to the first 2, even with a lineup of young Rage, Beasties, Tribe, Tool, Chains, Primus, etc. etc.), i can only imagine the insanity if i'd done the 4 year sweep and added early 90's era PJ, Soundgarden, RHCP, Jane's, etc. to the list. Fuck me.
3. Not seeing STP or G N' R in their prime. I don't know why this never happened, but i really wish that it had! I have a 'wishlist' deal with Vagina (formerly Metal Chris) that i'd trade him one of his STP experiences for one of my Alice in Chains shows. I can only take small solace in the fact that STP can theoretically reunite while Chains cannot.
4. Passing on Prince. Twice. I have no excuse for not attempting to purchase tickets to see Prince, about 10 years apart, on his last tour and one that he did before a mass hiatus in 1993-94. Funky as hell, great performer, and a string of hits that would exceed the string of beads that was once pulled out of Wilby's ass. Holy sheeite.
5. Getting blasted at my first Phish show. I don't really remember much from my first Phish experience, and to top it off, after puking out the window of Latrine's car on the drive back from Detroit, the guys decide to stop at a bar in Windsor on the way home for more beers! Stick a fork in me, i'm done!

Honourable Mention - On behalf of my friends from the mid-90's - Missing the Grateful Dead on Fall Tour in Toronto - because Jerry died in August. I thankfully caught 2 Dead shows from that last summer tour down at the Palace in Auburn Hills, but many of my friends weren't so lucky, and were banking on the Toronto show to be their first.

For myself today, the Captain, Killer, MV, and the whole host of other November birthday bashers we know, i present a very simple yet truthful top 5. Happy birthday lads. PS - Brass Door this eve around 10-10:30 for those interested. Cheers!

Top 5 Signs You're Getting Old(er)

1. You are horrified that your second chin is more prominent than your first in a recent party photo.
2. What belt buckle?
3. Your list of classic rock faves is met with blank stares and post-performance silence by the young'uns at your gigs.
4. You must have the option of sitting down at a concert.
5. 'Metal Chris' starts learning acoustic Jack Johnson songs for future gigs.

In keeping with last week's 'monster riffs' theme, as promised, i bring the top 5 MONSTER FUNK RIFFS to the table. This opens up the options a little more for the big bad bass guitar, which should hold down the majority of the riffage, but a funky little wah wah guitar part could also steal the show. These suggestions are just the tip of the iceberg; hopefully y'all will sink the ship. 'Scotty, what choo gonna list now? Mahvin, what'sa evah i list, it gots to be FUNKY. 1..2..3..'

1. Shakey Ground - The Temptations. Massive. Funk. Riff. As badass as they come. I bet i can throw this riff over that mountain.
2. For the Love of Money - BulletBoys. Just kidding. The O'Jays murder it on this killer groove about dolla bills y'all. Recently made uber-famous by The Donald.
3. The Jam - Graham Central Station. Larry Graham steps out and introduces the band as a selection of solos get tied together by distorted bass and funky-clean geetar. Prince has covered this live, and also gives the drummer some in his version.
4. Red Hot Mama - Funkadelic. A nice, simple, 2 note riff drives this one home to an anthemic chorus about a red hot mama lookin' good to them. Need i say more? Rumour has it that the Big Finger has a version in the works. I think it's called White Hot Mommy.
5. Sing a Simple Song - Sly & the Family Stone. There are sooooo many Sly songs to list here, so i just went with one of my faves. And it just fuckin' groooooooves.

Due to some hip-hoppin' and hard rockin' in Barrie yesterday, i bring you the first top 5 wednesday. The rock gloves are off this week as we step into the octagon in search of the top 5 MONSTER ROCK RIFFS. I'm talkin' about kickass, unstoppable, neck-snapping, metals in the air, bone crunching riffs. We're not looking for rock SONGS here, we're looking for those songs that contain raging RIFFS within their monstrous structures that are instantly recognizable and whip you into an immediate rock frenzy. They don't have to be by 'metal' bands per se, as long as they are laying down the heavy fuckin' riffage! \m/

1. Back in Black - AC/DC. Let's get this one out of the way right now - one of the heaviest riffs on the planet.
2. Voodoo Child - Jimi Hendrix. When that guitar intro starts you know exactly what you are about to witness, and that quickly becomes the fiercest jam Jimi ever laid to tape.
3. Black Betty - Ram Jam. The intro slash bridge to this track gets me every single time, and i feel like the baddest motherfucker alive.
4. Outshined - Soundgarden. Driving home from college one afternoon with my buddy, he was quickly pulled to the curb and ticketed for doing 85 clicks down Oxford St. This song was playing on his car stereo at the time.
5. Know Your Enemy - RATM. A nice funky intro groove baits you for what is about to be unleashed, which is a ferocious guitar riff that sends you jumping off backyard decks into dudes' beers.

So as the theme goes for the week, all the Halloween stuff is being played out, so i see no reason not to do the same! What movies really scared the shit out of you? Let's go with Top 5 Horror/Thriller Movies. I added the thriller option since i know several people who are too scared to even attempt a horror but perhaps have watched a thriller or two between their hands. Just make sure someone died or got killed or something to qualify it here!

Top 5 Horror/Thriller Movies

1. Evil Dead 2. 'It's so funny and violent, and the soundtrack kicks fucking ass.' My first favourite horror movie remains a classic of the genre. Army of Darkness would be a close companion piece.
2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (old & new). Just some good old creepy, broken down car, lost in the woods being chased by a guy with a chainsaw and skin mask type of fun. Always gets me.
3. The Shining. To this day, the hotel hallway scenes when the girls just appear from nowhere and the kid is riding the bigwheel around scares the bejeesus out of me. Little kids are creepy. And so is Nicholson losing his mind. A Kubrick classic.
4. Nightmare on Elm Street. The first grade school party movie that everyone had to see. Nothing like a room full of young teenage girls screaming their heads off and a roomful of guys not knowing what to do with it. Oh the shame. :)
5. House of 1000 Corpses. Rob Zombie does a nice job bringing the 'disgusting' and 'repulsive' aspects back to the horror genre after it appeared to be heading more to the 'thriller' direction of late. Also some nice tips of the hat to the classics.

Although i'm sure that this week's category will exclude at least half of my loyal readers, the topic of the week is, ironically, loyal readers. Now i'm not gonna lie and say i'm the world's most voracious reader by any stretch, but i've been trying to get back into that swing, and have actually put a few under my belt in the past months. With the coming seasons putting the emphasis back on indoor sports, let's see if we can list up some decent suggestions to circulate around.

Top 5 Books You've Read Recently

1. A Million Little Pieces - James Frey. Ok, i know this is the current Oprah book club pick, and that is in fact the only reason why i ended up reading this book. Not because Oprah told me to, but because Chilli saw that show and ordered it cheap from Amazon, and i beat her to the punch and read it while she was finishing up another book. I couldn't stop reading! A wild, disturbing and graphic account of going through a rehab clinic experience and bringing a life back from the brink, this guy was fucked up on everything you can think of! He beat it all, is still clean and now writing killer books.
2. Killing Yourself to Live - Chuck Klosterman. A cool road trip book written by a rock journalist about driving around the States visiting sites of famous rock deaths. There are also healthy doses of music knowledge, based on his listening selections for the trip as well as the death sites, and some troubles with the ladies thrown in for good measure.
3. Life After God - Douglas Coupland. A collection of stories about searching, meaning, finding your place. A bit of a disjointed road journal, i suppose, spread over several stories.
4. The Losers' Club - Richard Perez. An NYC, searching for love through personal ads and all the crazy city folk that surface during that process type of book.
5. The Rum Diary - Hunter Thompson. Currently reading this as i have heard it will be made into a movie with Johnny Depp in the near future. It's always good to get through these books before the movie hype takes over and puts a new spin on it, not to mention a new book cover.

This topic was suggested by the Captain, and it's a damn fine one! Pay close attention to the subject at hand this week, especially the second half of the title. We're not just looking for good cover songs here. If you don't think it tops the original version, don't list it! That being said...

Top 5 Cover Songs Better Than the Original Versions

1. Say Hello, Wave Goodbye - David Gray. This song can make me weep openly, while the original Soft Cell version is an absolute pile of shite! Thankfully Dave rescued this song from obscurity and we're all better off for it.
2. I Shall Be Released - The Band. The Band and Dylan were working very closely together at the time this came out on the masterpiece Music From Big Pink, and Richard Manuel's angelic falsetto weaves it's magic throughout this song. A beautiful song that's just a bit too tender for Bob's nasal delivery.
3. Dead Flowers - Townes Van Zandt. I love the Stones, and their version, but if i had to pick between the two it would be this loosey-goosey, whiskey and beer-soaked acoustic version. It also majestically closes out The Big Lebowski.
4. Back Door Man - The Doors. This version jumps to raunchy new heights following a climbing intro, slinky organ riff and a blood-curdling Morrison scream (mostly live). One of my fave Doors songs as well. I can picture both Jim and Willie Dixon entering many a back door in their time.
5. Hard Luck Woman - Garth Brooks. Paul Stanley has openly hailed this version as the definitive one. Kiss rocks socks off, but this version kills! Ask any of my friends that have recently pilfered several copies of my latest mix cd!

My system's back, i'm back, let's do this. You mention Brando, DeNiro, Pacino and Nicholson and you conjure up images of acting royalty. This week's lising is to try and create the next generation of that royalty list. Think of actors that have had the bulk of their theatrical releases during our lifetime; born in the 60s, 70s or perhaps even 80s in some cases. List a fave role, a fave film or even a fave scene if you want to get right down to it. 'Actors' by all means includes females, but most of my faves are dudes. Call me shallow, it's the fuckin' truth. And Killerov, porn doesn't count.

Top 5 Movie Actors of Our Generation

1. Johnny Depp. I'm sure you all knew this was coming. I love the guy. I celebrate his entire catalog. From his shitty (yet funny) spring break comedy Private Resort through all of his Tim Burton collaborations up to his Academy-nominated roles as a pirate and writer, Johnny does it all, with his own twisted style and take it or leave it attitude. He's everyman's freak, the loner you love, the outsider with a heart (or teeth) of gold. If i could only own one actor's entire body of work, it would be my man Johnny.
2. Philip Seymour Hoffman. This guy can play any role, comedy or drama, and sell it hook, line and sinker. Celebrated in The Big Lebowski, Boogie Nights and Magnolia, he also captivated the screen in Almost Famous, Punch Drunk Love and Owning Mahowny. After that he once again made us pee our pants in Along Came Polly, and now has Capote set for release to critical acclaim.
3. Benicio Del Toro. Already an Academy Award winner for Traffic, he has recently killed in Sin City, and previously ruled in 21 Grams, Snatch, The Way of the Gun and of course as the beloved Dr. Gonzo in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Benicio can rock a dark, smoldering glare like no other, and has a presence that commands immediate attention, even with little or no dialogue being spoken.
4. John Cusack. John has occasionally missed the mark, but the fact that he keeps putting himself out there in a wide variety of roles shows that he's not afraid to tackle any challenge, regardless of if it's against type or not. He's also one of the few actors to successfully transist from teen comedy to adult comedy to drama and back and forth again. As we all know, High Fidelity is at the top of the Cusack performance list.
5. Bill Murray. Bill wasn't originally going to crack my top 5, but i didn't want to be that guy who doesn't include comedy roles in the same ballpark as the dramatic. Bill has killed the comedy for years, and has recently reemerged in a new dramatic light, peppered with the deadpan comedy touches that we love him for. I still need to get out and see the acclaimed Broken Flowers, but even without having seen that yet Bill holds steady in my top 5.

Honourable Mention - Paul Giamatti. One of the guys that you hear of all the time, but can't name 3 movies that he's been in other than Sideways. Sideways was a genius performance, and i guarantee that within the next 2 years this guy will break out like no other.

Revelation: n. 1. a dramatic disclosure of something not previously known or realized. 2. communication of knowledge to man by a divine or supernatural agency.

Both of these definitions apply to an album or song that turns your world upside down and leaves you standing there dumbfounded, shouting "Holy Shit!" at the top of your lungs, wondering where such music came from and why you haven't heard it before now. These are the records we are looking for today. Now don't go listing a bunch of old safe ones, or your fave records of all time, unless they truly apply to the task at hand. Some of my fave bands were passed over for this list (The Band, The Doors) in favour of records that i can actually recall the exact moment i heard them first and why i freaked out. I love those other bands to death, but they would be more at home on an all time best list, not this list i present here today.

Top 5 "Revelation" Albums

1. Appetite for Destruction - G N'R. I was cutting the lawn with the cassette in my Walkman, when i stopped during the intro to My Michelle and had my holy shit moment. I knew right there that rock had moved in a new, killer direction.
2. Free Your Mind, and Your Ass Will Follow - Funkadelic. During the Fanshawe M.I.A. years i was jamming and hanging with a cat, Pete Warnica, who had a sweet townhouse on Oxford St. that we partied at a lot. I was high and sitting in his beanbag chair when he threw on this cassette. It was my first real exposure to the dirty funk and psychedelic jamming. Funkadelic's Red Hot Mama has since become an oft-covered song throughout my bands.
3. Rage Against the Machine - RATM. First year college, pre-release copy of the album, getting drunk and jumping off back porches in sheer delight at the energy it posessed. A staple 'get pumped' album since then.
4. Pendulum - CCR. I was living in Budapest, and was up at Dr. John's pimpin' pad getting high, and he casually throws on this cd. I almost had a heart attack when Pagan Baby riffed in, because it was heavy Creedence, and it showed me that there is so much more to the classic bands out there than their hits collections.
5. Spiritchaser - Dead Can Dance. I knew i was looking for this type of ethereal music out there, but didn't know what it was until this album was pumped out into the dark forest at midnight around a camp fire on Lake Muskoka.

This week's posting is inspired by a book i'm currently reading about a journalist on the road visiting American rock and roll death landmarks. There are high profile deaths often mentioned or discussed, usually due to a crash or an OD and involving famous artists. But there are many lesser known musicians from well known bands that have bought it in one way or another that never get mentioned in the same realm of a Cobain shotgun suicide (or was it a Love murder?) This list is for them. For those that used to rock, we salute you.

Top 5 Rock N' Roll Deaths Nobody Talks About

1. Shannon Hoon. Blind Melon was wildly popular about 10 years ago. Nary a soul on this planet is unfamiliar with the opening lick of No Rain, and the now infamous Bee Girl. Even Pearl Jam wrote a song called Bee Girl. Chris Farley has dressed as the Bee Girl. Yet when Hoon quietly OD'd on his tour bus in New Orleans during a less than successful sophmore tour, nobody really gave a shit. Even his gravesite went unmarked for a while. This was a sad tragedy very unbefitting of one of my favourite bands.
2. Layne Stayley. One of the saddest rock OD's on record, poor Layne actually rotted away in his apartment for a couple of days before it was noticed that transactions to his bank account for drug money had ceased. While his struggles with drugs led directly to the creation of Alice in Chains' acclaimed Dirt record, they finally got the better of this tortured soul.
3. Richard Manuel. The pianist/second drummer with the angelic falsetto for The Band actually hung himself during a post-Robertson club tour that was apparently too much for him to handle following the lofty heights The Band had previously reached. Richard is buried in Stratford, ON.
4. Tom Fogerty. Considering i wasn't actually sure if he was dead until this year, i would say this one definitely flies under the radar. Tom died of complications from a blood transfusion in 1990, and his brotherly feud was so great that John refused to be at his side when he died.
5. Brent Mydland. Brent was the keys player for the Grateful Dead for all of the 80's, when their popularity hit new heights. Not only was he their best pianist/organist of all, but he had a great raspy blues voice that added strength to the other oft-faltering Dead voices. Once again, an OD was the culprit.

Last night's killer Pearl Jam concert inspired me to go with today's posting, which i believe was originally suggested by the Captain, who was absent from last night's show, but his special lady was in fine whistling form accompanying the Rosa on his spare ticket. No word yet on whether or not the ass diaphragm was compromised.

Top 5 Concert DVDs

1. Tenacious D - Complete Masterworks. Everyone knows how much i love the D, perhaps a little too much. I can sing pretty much every word sung and speak every word spoken during this beloved concert, and even have 2 copies of the dvd - one for each tv/dvd combo in the house. Fuck, yeah!!
2. The Band - The Last Waltz. As i have mentioned many a time before, this performance comes to the proverbial desert island with me. Feel free to browse past top 5s for more words of high praise for this magical concert.
3. Led Zeppelin - 2 DVD set. This fairly recent release blows The Song Remains the Same concert out of the water. Although inclusive of some of that concert footage, this spans an entire career of thunderous rock and roll, with a highlight for me being a few of the acoustic tunes they pull out whilst seated on stools. John Paul Jones is a freakin' genius.
4. Pearl Jam - Touring Band 2000. This was the only concert footage we had available to us while living in Budapest. With no tv, we fired this up on Dr. J's laptop dvd player from time to time while sipping on ice cold pints of Dreher. It was just like being there, sort of.
5. Rage Against the Machine - Live at Grand Olympic Auditorium. A popular Friday night pre-bar warmup disc from the Palace era. So tight, so heavy, so funky. Also includes much of a second concert in the bonus features.

Honourable Mentions - AC/DC Live at Donington, Ben Harper Live at Hollywood Bowl.

This is more of a brainstorming session than a top 5, but it does involve listing a whole lotta tunes, and it is also a market research project as well, believe it or not. Killer Dave informs me that our good friends in Budapest are opening a strip club and would like to know what songs you feel are best suited for strip club play and the dancing itself. Myself of course will lean back to the classic era of the strip club - the 80s/90s rock scene - but we need some newer entries as well. Perhaps head out this week and do a little market research yourself!

My list would include almost anything from the Motley Crue catalog, specifically Girls x 3 and Wild Side, Buckcherry's Lit Up, White Zombie's Thunderkiss 65 and More Human Than Human, and on the funkier side a little Prince Sexy MF never hurt anyone! Also round it out with a little NIN Closer. This should get everyone started - have at'er!

I was trying out some new shit with polls instead of lists, but the php poll script was messing it all up so until i get that sorted, back to the old list styles!

Top 5 People (alive or dead) That You'd Like to Drink With

1. Johnny Depp. I'm pretty sure Johnny would have some wild stories from back in the day about wine, women and song, plus all of the different movie sets & actors he's been involved with. That, and he's the coolest man on the face of the earth. Drink of choice: Red Wine.
2. Jim Morrison. I know y'all knew Jimbo would be on my list, so here he is. He's not #1 since he's dead, but man o man could Jim party! As long as i didn't actually die from the experience i think it would be a great night of drinking and debauchery. Drink of choice: Beer, Whiskey, Rum, Vodka, Acid, Peyote, etc...
3. Bill Murray. Bill is a very funny guy, and a great actor, as he is proving to everyone these days. Conversations could stretch back to the original SNL cast right up to working with Jim Jarmusch on his latest movie. Drink of choice: perhaps Scotch on the rocks?
4. John Bonham. I was thinking Keith Moon at first, but decided that would be a little too much, and more drugs than booze. Bonzo as we know drank a little too much, but on a tamer evening drums, women and the Mighty Zep could be discussed at leisure. Drink of choice: Vodka.
5. Joel Gion. I know, you're all asking who the hell is this guy? He's the charismatic tambourine man from the original Brian Jonestown Massacre, loyal sideman and confidante of their genius songwriter Anton Newcombe, and from what i got out of the rockumentary Dig!, he's an absolute blast to hang out with. Drink of choice: Whiskey, and cocaine for good measure.

As we wind through the latter half of the summer, i feel that it's necessary to dedicate a top 5 list to that favourite, cold, most refreshing of summer beverages - beer. List up your faves, but let's not forget that beer, like music, can also define a specific period of your life, so take that into account as well!

Top 5 Favourite Beers

1. Coors Light, cans. This is by far the most refreshing beer in existence. An ice cold can right out of the cooler, or a mountain stream if you have one available, and you are set for life. It's the silver bullet baby!
2. Busch Light/PC Light. A tie goes to the favourite economy beers of the Palace era. Busch Light cans, PC Light bottles. Nary a Saturday night would end without at least a handful of stragglers back at the apartment sucking down all of our fresh cheap beers. A re-stocking would usually be necessary before the Bills games on Sunday.
3. Dreher. THE beer of my time in Budapest. I can honestly say that we consumed more Dreher during our time there than all other beverages combined. Cheap, tasty, pint-size bottles, and available at every corner!
4. Keith's. The favourite on-tap beer of London, Ontario.
5. Molson Dry, cans. The original favourite discount beer of the college era. It was an even better value since it started out as a premium beer, so it actually tasted damn good!

Ok, so the roman numerals were starting to bug me. I don't think they look good when you string them together that long. Wait until Super Bowl 88! Anyway, this week's topic should be good for some heated discussion/dissing of both bands and other people's picks, which is always fun. I'm sure Killer Dee and The Captain will go head to head for a while here.

Top 5 Most Hated Bands

1. Gin Blossoms. Limp. Lame. Wimpy. Whiny. My most hated band of the 90's. I actually got angry every time they snagged some airtime. The only band in existence that physically lacked testicles. Seriously.
2. Nickelback. This band should be on most lists, and rightfully so. Purveyors of canned corporate rock, these guys (ok, Chad) are so full of themselves that even if i liked them i'd hate them. Read one of my previous blog entries about Chad for some solid proof!
3. Linkin Park. Why do we have to be so angry all the time? The whole rap/rock thing was done well by very few bands, this not being one of them. One guy rapping, one guy 'singing'. Why not just have one guy? I have one word to sum up this genre properly: RAGEAGAINSTTHEMACHINE.
4. Dread Zeppelin. I was SO into Zeppelin in high school that i took these guys as the highest form of blasphemy. Now it's just kinda funny.
5. Creed.

Welcome to the 50th edition of the Top 5. In an attempt to stop Killer from trying to split hairs, i am giving him a list in which he can freely and accurately post 'The Boss' without me riding his ass! That, and it's a nice follow up to last week.

Top 5 Solo Rockers

1. Elvis. The King - what more needs to be said?
2. Jerry Lee Lewis. I actually saw the Killer live once at Massey Hall for a Ronnie Hawkins birthday bash. He was, and is, pretty old, but back in the day nobody fucked with the Killer! He also won Blender mag's 'top rock n' roll badass' title, which is pretty cool too.
3. Bowie. The guy has had more aliases than Killer Dave on a Saturday night, and has rocked equally as hard with all of them. He blew the minds of the Captain and myself here in London, and we (Killer, Vag, myself) also saw him go down at the Prague show while i was on vacation. Bowie gave it the old rock n' roll try though, and only packed it in when the pain became unbearable. That's rock n' roll, man!
4. Janis Joplin. Check out the footage of Janis in the Festival Express movie, and you'll see why she's on this list - magnetic, baby!
5. Ben Harper. While he always adds '& the Innocent Criminals', Ben is a solo artist at heart. You have to see him live to get the maximum impact; what i can only describe as a religious experience. Just ask the Bri Man - the latest convert!

Again, i thought that this topic would produce a bunch of similar lists, but i just brainstormed 12 people off the top of my head so i guess it's time to rock! The rock and roll frontman (or woman) has the hardest job within a band in that they are the direct connection between the band and audience. You've all seen bands where the guy just stands and sings and you get up to take a leak and grab another beer. Classic frontmen don't usually play a full time instrument on stage; they jump, strut, howl, yell, climb, run, wave, kneel, swing, rant, regale, and sometimes even sing. Whatever they are doing, it's all about connective energy between them and the fans, and that's what rock is all about! That being said, let's list'em up...

Top 5 Rock and Roll Frontmen

1. Jagger. You knew it was coming. The man's like 80 years old, has the body of a teenage gymnast and still gets more pussy than the rest of this list combined. He can't sing worth a shit but Mick struts and poses with the best of'em!
2. Roth. Again, yelps and screams were more prominent than a honed vocal talent, but NOBODY does a rock jump like Diamond Dave! And again with the pussy...
3. Tyler. While he is constantly in danger of swallowing the audience while connecting, Steven Tyler is the full package; vocals, screams, scats, jumps, skinny, hair and scarves! And probably some pussy.
4. Morrison. You knew my list wouldn't exist without old Jimbo. You never knew what turn a performance would take with Jim at the helm. Probably the most magnetic frontman ever, as the crowd would hang on his every move and syllable. Purveyor of leather pants and.... pussy.
5. Weiland. Of the new era of rock stars, Scotty had the style, the looks, the drug habit, the voice and the manic energy to rock a show as hard as HE can. Perhaps a bit of pussy.... and the odd cock?

This one is very straight forward. Everyone has had one, most still do. They range from cute to funny to degrading to just plain appropriate. The beauty of the nickname lies in the story behind it, so please feel free to elaborate. Any time period is fair game.

Top 5 Nicknames Past & Present

1. Finny, Findog, Finman, Mighty Finn, etc. The classic 'play off the last name' nickname, and probably the most widely used derivation for everybody. These names ran through the post-college era, and continue to this day in certain circles.
2. Scotty Scotty Beers. This was a one time only name, formulated one day as a play on INXS' bass player Gary Garry Beers. It is by far the best nickname i've had, but sadly never caught on outside of the one glorious day that it existed. It will be missed.
3. Gee, Guy, Snapper. The college years names. Three of us, myself, Rich and Geoff, the 3 medium-to-long hairs responsible for the 90's metal assault known as Acid Tongue, were all Gee or Guy. I alone was Snapper, which still surfaces among the group on occasion. Gee/Guy were rotated depending on context and who was being addressed at the time. Still used to this day.
4. Jackie. My nickname within the band for the Fall of 1999 Red/Uisce Beatha European Tour. Our bass player Matty, of B.A. Baracus Band fame, earned the affectionate moniker of Mitsy. We still address each other as such.
5. Scooter. The must-have nickname for anyone with my name. Enjoyed high useage amongst the Imagewerx crew, and a recent revival from Chilli's sister Ange.

Honourable Mentions - Big Cat, Captain, Dude, Shitty. Recent additions within The Gentlemen.

Posted by scotty at 12:01 AM

Songs get stuck in your head, sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad. Sometimes it's just plain ugly (like the fucking Canadian Tire commercial theme - ask vagina) but it's best when it's just plain glorious. The beauty of a fave song is that it doesn't have to be from a band you particularly like; it could be a one-off from a hated band. That being said, i dig all the bands on my list, and here it is. Note it's for what you are listening to at this time, not all time, although they could potentially be one in the same for a few of your choices.

Top 5 Current Favourite Songs

1. Dakota - Stereophonics. I can't stop listening to this song. I feel like i'm in fuckin' high school! This is definitely my song for the summer. I caught their Live 8 performance, vaguely recognized the song, grabbed it immediately and have played it multiple times daily since then. It's really fucking good.
2. Take Your Mamma Out - Scissor Sisters. I saw one of their awards show performances of this song and was hooked. The show was great, and the song was even better. It's like 70's party rock Elton John with programmed drums! They actually have a live drummer, but they lean heavily on the backing beats as well.
3. Dreamgirl - Dave Matthews Band. I'm bummed that Dave isn't coming to Toronto this summer, since this is the first dmb album i've been excited to hear live in some time. This opening track is just so easy-breezy you can't help but want to fire up a good good drunk.
4. GZ & Hustlas - Snoop Dogg. Chilli loves the Snoop, and this song is half cut on her shizzle nizzle mix, so i grabbed it (all of it) and have been spinning ever since. Funky jams.
5. Burn For You - INXS. In anticipation of INXS: Rockstar i grabbed my old INXS tapes (yes, tapes) from my parents' basement and have been rolling them for a bit. This was one of my faves back in the day and the chorus still gets me every time. On a side note, the show is not half bad, but after one show i can't see anyone coming close to replacing Hutchence. He was the man. Hopefully someone proves me wrong!

Happy 36th Anniversary to Big H and the Bee!

I think the Captain had mentioned this topic at some point, but i had forgotten it only to have it reappear as i was grasping for new topics. I think i initially dismissed it since i thought i wouldn't have enough to list but since i just scrawled down 10 options, it's on!

1. The Last Waltz - The Band. This is not only my favourite live album but one of my favourite albums of all time. I love The Band, and add in the fact that it was their last show with Robbie, plus an unending parade of fantastic guest artists made this a night, an album and a movie for the ages. The version of Helpless, with Neil, The Band and Joni Mitchell on backing vocal, is one of my favourite versions of any song, ever!
2. Just Like A Vacation - Blue Rodeo. Blue Rodeo are one of those bands that are even better live than on record. This double live record captures them in 2000 at their finest. Add in a few guest musicians, plus a mix of hits and jammers and this should be on anyone's country-rock-pop top 5. This album saw me through some hard times while i was living over in Budapest. It's a keeper!
3. Live - AC/DC. This album exists in both single and double cd versions. I have the single, as well as the full concert dvd and it fucking rocks hard! A great starter to any weekend. Ask anyone from my Palace days!
4. Waiting for Columbus - Little Feat. My only Little Feat album, it contains a bunch of classics, some fab drumming, killer grooves and great jams. This one defines the mid-90s for me back in my jam band days!
5. Live - Bob Marley. I'm sure this is second-to-own on the popular Marley list, right after Legend, but it still holds up to this day. Again there is a bonus release and the original release, which i own, and it contains some great live Bob hits, sing alongs and jams. The sound is great, the drums are sweet and the message is clear. My only complaint - more please!

This one is more for you guys than for me, but if you can help me out and return a couple links that you might know of it would be appreciated. Having said that, my current favourite blogs to check out, or to try and find for that matter, are blogs kept by musicians or actors. I've heard about the super-popular ones, like Will Wheaton, which was one of the first, and of course the Fred Durst one, which doesn't really interest me to be honest. Listed below are my current 5 reads, sometimes daily, sometimes weekly or longer. They all seem to have something to say, and with #'s 1 & 2, actually update them every couple of days, which is sweet. Take a look, let me know what you think, and if you come across any others hit me back here!

1. Mike Doughty. I had the first Soul Coughing cd playing the other day, and decided to find out what their singer was up to these days, as i enjoyed the groove of the Coughing quite immensely. Turns out he has just put out a new solo record, and his first with a full band since the last SC record. He also keeps a blog, which is quite interesting, and entries usually include a photo from his apparently always-present digital cam.
2. Dave Navarro. Dave's blog is updated almost daily, which is really cool that he takes the time to do so. It's a nice easy read, and the topics usually pertain to something you'd find interesting and current. Keep an eye out here as the INXS reality show starts to air. Dave hosts the show and will probably have some insider entries here, i'm guessing, as the show progresses. And perhaps the occasional juicy Carmen bit as well. :)
3. David Byrne. Dave actually won some awards for his entries here! Very well spoken, as you'd expect, and kept in a journal-style format - ie: more like a diary of what he's currently up to, as opposed to random daily entries. Dig.
4. Jeff Bridges. Not so much a blog, as a monthly update on what movies he's been working on and what causes he is supporting. It's in a very cool handwritten style, and very casual, as only you'd expect from the man who played The Dude. Mark it.
5. C.C. Banana. I'm really not sure what's going on here, but it's a dude in a banana suit that seems to have some sweet connections into the LA rock scene. Inspired by the one and only CC DeVille, this crazy cat is worth keeping an eye on.

Honourable Mention - Steve Earle. Steve's blog seems like it would be a great read, except he hasn't posted since March! Keep an eye out for when he breaks out of dormancy.

This week's topic comes from the Captain, who suggested two similar topics. I was going to go with his first suggestion, top 5 sequels, and then figured everybody would just put down Empire Strikes Back and that would be that. Let me know if i'm wrong on that one! So onto his second and more intriguing suggestion...

1. Old School. I believe this one is actually in the works. Who doesn't want to know how Frank the Tank turns out, along with the frat in fully renewed force? Sign me up!
2. Dazed and Confused. The day after the big night should bring to light many anticipated plots; Wooderson & Cynthia, the return of O'Bannion, the social growth of Mitch, a lotta beer & weed and the much anticipated Aerosmith concert!
3. Almost Famous. The next one could just be called "Famous". Take us back on the road for a full headlining arena tour, drop in a hot up-and-coming opening band for added material/friction and let the next-level games begin.
4. Spinal Tap. I know there was a second album, a couple of tv things, a reunion tour and even a live movie release, but not yet a full and proper second rockumentary. We know the guys are still at the top of their game (A Mighty Wind, anyone?) so let's do what needs to be done here!
5. The Big Lebowski. I was hesitant to add this to the list, as you never want to tamper with genius by trying to equal or top a fantastic plotline, but if anybody could pull it off it would be the Coen Bros. I have watched this movie so many times that i would welcome seeing the Dude and Walter embark on another properly-scripted caper, providing (obsessive) fans with a slew of fresh quotes and another favourite movie to throw on late at night after a J and discover another hidden gem worked into the background somewhere. Sequels can elevate the bar (see Empire mention above), but then again, sometimes the bar eats you.

As promised, and dedicated to the one and only killer dave, co-creator of the 'rockus for the cockus' anthology, which was inspired by metal vagina's original 'rockus' mix cd, here is part 2 of the ballads top 5. I know there are many more classics that i haven't touched on, but that's what you guys are here for, right?

Top 5 Cock Rock/Hair Band Ballads

1. Love Song - Tesla. Epic classical guitar intro. Strong ballad format into blazing solo building into the stratospheric sing-along: 'love will find a way....'. Close with quiet ballad outro and we have what i consider to be the classic ballad for that generation. Anyone that has participated in a Palace jam has attempted this song with us in a drunken haze.
2. I Remember You - Skid Row. The Skids rocked harder than a lot of the bands of the era, and were one of my faves for sure. They secured a coveted spot painted on the back of my white jean jacket (along with Motley, Poison & Faster Pussycat!) so it is no surprise they secure a high position on the list. Some may prefer the darker ballad 18 & Life, but i prefer the bittersweet strains of this fine track, not to mention the supreme belting of "the mouth" - frontman Mr. Bach.
3. Heaven - Warrant. Somehow i ended up seeing Warrant 4-5 times during the era, and they put on one hell of a fun show. This track always brought the house down, and the lighters and shirts up. Although it is composed of the same chords as about 75% of all cock rock ballads, it stands slightly above the rest for some reason (see previous shirt-lifting).
4. Don't Know What You Got - Cinderella. I love these guys. I love Tom Keifer's voice. Sit him at a piano and the magic of this track unfolds before us.
5. Fly to the Angels - Slaughter. Another one of my top bands kicking out their top ballad. Stick It To Ya didn't leave my double cassette deck for years.

This entry is inspired by my old apartment, The Palace. Located directly above the bar that i play at every Saturday night, it has hosted many an after-party. A common theme, since everyone was all drunked up and it was quite late and all, was to play cheesy ballads and dance like you did at public school dances. So i am going to list my top 5 cheesy ballads in honour of The Palace. These are shameless cuts of cheese that you can't help singing at the top of your lungs when they come on. Notice there are no cock-rock 'power ballads' here. That is a separate genre all it's own, and will perhaps be addressed next week. Let's get it on!

Top 5 Cheesy Ballads (in honour of The Palace)

1. Sister Christian - Night Ranger. This is the money shot. Played every Saturday night without fail, the song became expected, anticipated and participated. My former Palace roommate Metal Vagina has taken to pinching this for his current end-of-night dj dance-off.
2. Against All Odds - Phil Collins. Watching some of the dvd of the Live Aid concert brought back the memory of this sappy classic. That, and some guy bastardized it beautifully years ago during our college entry performance auditions.
3. You're the Inspiration - Chicago. As a kid, I couldn't stop singing this when it came on the radio. Of course when you're 12 you don't know what the fuck you're singing about.
4. Take It On The Run - REO Speedwagon. Another Palace classic; very participatory. It actually made a vinyl appearance when played. Just think, the band is playing in the park this summer!!
5. All Out of Love - Air Supply. Probably the kings of cheese, you could pick any of at least 6 classics here. Guy Jarvis and I used to sing along to the Supply together after we'd come home from the bar sloppy and empty-handed. Very touching.



Posted by scotty at 09:56 AM

The Summer. Beers. BBQs. Beaches. Cottages. Concerts. No matter how often i say that i'm going to cut down on summer concert spending, the lineups and offerings never fail to entice me to pummel my Visa card into submission with pairs of tickets to dozens of shows. Having our kickass "new" arena in downtown London now feeds that addiction even more so. So who are you most stoked to see this summer? Are they coming to you? Are you traveling to them? Throw the cooler in the trunk, roll that J and list'em up!

Top 5 Anticipated (or Recently Passed) Summer Concert Events

1. Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Black Crowes. This makes the top of my list not only for being Petty, but as the only one on the list that i haven't seen live yet. Bring it!
2. Allman Brothers Band, moe. I love the Allmans, haven't seen them in years, and have 6th row seats for the August show here in town. Sidenote: One of my bands from back in the day opened for moe. here in London for their very first Canadian show ever. Not like they'd remember that or anything. :)
3. Pearl Jam. First full Canadian tour in years, and coming to London, Ontario. Madness! I hear tix sold out in a matter of minutes, but i managed to snag 3 presale tix at the front of the upper deck. I'll take it.
4. **cancelled!!** Zooma Tour - Ben Harper, Trey, J5, G.Love. This is a fantastic lineup! Ben Harper live is like a religious experience, and i'm not religious! G.Love is summer funk at it's finest, Trey should be cool even without Phish and i have heard that J5 is fab live.
5. Black Crowes. (a couple of weeks back.) I have seen the Crowes on their debut tour, and when they were headlining Furthur Festival i think on the 3 Snakes tour, but to see them in a smaller venue like the Kool Haus in Toronto and have them play muchos material from Southern Harmony... was killer! Top that off with a live bootleg available right after the show and we have a winner.

Alternate #4 - The Crue! Last month, again a shocker they came to London, had 7th row seats with metal vagina. Plus, a meet and greet/photo session before the show (photo to be posted shortly), midgets, dancers, psycho clowns, and 2 sets of kickass classics with more pyro than eddie murphy's bbq! Now that's a fire!

After watching The Life Aquatic over the past couple of late nights i decided that this week's top 5 should be a tribute to the legend that is Bill Murray. While his body of work is vast, i understand that some may not have 5 favourite Bill films, so you can also just drop in with your 1 fave, if you like.

Top 5 Bill Murray Films

1. Stripes - My original fave Bill movie, much improvising, funny as hell, and actually quite inspirational. "I gotta dry out, or i'll be dead before i'm 30."
2. Lost in Translation - Beautiful, paced performance of a lost man sprinkled with the touches of humour only Bill can provide.
3. Kingpin - What else can i say? It's Big Ern!!
4. What About Bob? - Zany, child-like Bill at his best.
5. Groundhog Day - The asshole Bill is finally tamed by the end of this exceptional, single day film.

Added Bonus - Bill Murray Quiz. Don't kid yourself - it's tough! Even a seasoned Bill fan such as myself managed a meagre 50% on this bad boy. Give it a shot and post your result with your movies.

It has been almost 2 years since my last top 5, and at least 6 months of general blog neglect, but now that i have hopefully eliminated or at least curtailed comment spam (save for all the existing crap i have to delete out of my comments) i figured i'd give it another shot. I was trying to think of some grand reemergence list, but decided to run with what i know - music. Let's spread the good word on current listening habits and share some good music!

Top 5 Current Favourite Listens

1. Ryan Adams - Cold Roses. Fantastic double CD of Dead-esque country rock with tips of the hat to Neil Young and Chris Isaak.
2. John Prine - Souvenirs. A current daily morning listen. Stripped down re-recording of some of his best.
3. The Philadelphia Experiment. Self titled release featuring ?uestlove from The Roots on drums plus some other Philly cats laying down the funky jazz.
4. Django Reinhardt - Django's Blues. One of the greatest jazz guitarists shines here on a selected Jazz in Paris compilation.
5. Justin Timberlake - Justified. Ok, laugh as you will, but as i have recently been afforded the space to set up and practise my drums during the week, i was looking for some new grooves to jam along to. At least half of this album is groovy as hell, once you get past the cheese factor. Senorita has a killer drum groove, based around rimshots, an open hi-hat splash, breaks, and of course, the cowbell! Gentlemen, good night. Ladies, good morning.

Hey there guys and gals. This week's Top 5 isn't as much of a participatory listing as it is an interactive listing. I am posting the Top 5 Songs Recorded on June 6/03 at the Brass Door Gig. We played as The McFlys, which is Justin's journeyman ensemble of rogues and rascals. On this particular eve it was just him and i, with me on djembe drum and J on guitar/vocal. All cover stuff, some newer, some vintage, but all fun. Download and listen at your leisure (R Click>Save As) and post back up if you dig what you hear, or even if you don't. Just to say you took the time to dig, dig?

Top 5 Songs Recorded on June 6/03 at the Brass Door Gig

1. Late in the Evening
2. Burn One Down
3. Tripping Billies
4. Use Me
5. Down on the Corner

Good day. I can post up today in the middle of the afternoon since i'm not working this week - a beautiful thing! This week's listing my not be relevant to everyone, but to those of us that play that crazy game called golf, i'm sure a quote or two of shared sympathies and misery can be posted. That said, and inspired by yesterday's round of bad golf, i bring you Top 5 Quotes From the Golf Course.

Top 5 Quotes From the Golf Course

1. "Can you throw me another ball?"
2. "Was that tree always there?"
3. "Hey man, at least it was straight." (spoken after one of our drives didn't reach the ladies tee. Don't worry, i won't name names, Chris.)
4. "I can't fit my 12 in this tiny box." (Minds out of the gutter please people. ;)
5. "Fuck it, Dude. Let's go bowling." (Not actually spoken but would have been very applicable.)

Honourable Mention - The conversation with the Beer Store guy after the round...

Beer Guy: "Sorry, i can't serve you guys. You've been on the golf course all day and i've been stuck here. How'd you shoot?"

Us: "Let's just say that's why we're here."

Ok, sorry for the last week of MIA styles, but i come back this week with a killer suggestion by my boy Matty (aka Big Finger) - Top 5 Fave Bars. Pretty straightforward here - any reason is acceptable, any location is fine, and any style (pub, club, patio, etc.) is also all good. Everyone has their fave watering hole, but there are i'm sure places from the far reaches of this fine earth that hold a special memory that we'd all like to hear about. Hell, maybe there will even be a common thread come out of all this madness and new fave bars will be discovered and enjoyed around the world! So, pull up a barstool, grab a pint and think about the places where everybody knows your name (or drinks so much they forget it!).

Top 5 Fave Bars

1. Call the Office - London, Ontario. Hands down my favourite bar here in town. I've played many a show there, i've seen many fantastic show there, including some big names that rolled through back in the day on their way up the musical ladder, and of course the 2 longest running DJ nights in town; Mo' Gravy for a funky good time on Wednesdays, and Raygun for your retro 80's fix on Sunday nights. Long live the Office.
2. Romkert (aka The Kart) - Budapest, Hungary. Outdoor bar, at the base of the Buda hills, surrounded by a stone wall, on the shore of the Danube river. DJ is situated right on the dance floor, it's always packed in the summer, and is open all night long. People "outside" the club can sit along the top of the wall, which ranges from a few feet tall to above your head level as it surrounds the dance floor area. One of the coolest bars on earth.
3. The Stubnitz - Rostock, Germany. The Stubnitz is actually a ship, and there are several bar areas inside. There are a few different DJ rooms, and when we played there we set up on the lower deck, so the walls were actually the hull of the ship closing in on you. We were about a good 8 feet above the crowd gathered below with the way it's set up. We bunked there for night and ate in the mess with the ship's crew, who actually live and work on the ship full time and take it out on the water several times a year when it isn't docked as a nightclub. Crazycool stuff.
4. Fregatt Pub - Budapest, Hungary. This was our weekly gig for the duration of my stay in Hungary. Very cosy, with cheap pints. It was an ex-pat pub for the most part, so we got to not only play music every week, but get a healthy dose of the English language which is so much cooler when you are trying to chat with the ladies. ;)
5. Brass Door - London, Ontario. Very warm, atmospheric pub. Great live acoustic music almost every night, with many of the musicians from other nights showing up to jam with guys on different nights. Can usually run into a familiar face to shoot the shit over a pint while digging the music. My second-fave hangout in town here.

Honourable Mentions - Wylder's, North Bay - Never a bad time here, and many memorable gigs and escapades with the Bargain Boyz (aka the Big Heathers); The Electric Banana, London - Great rock club from back in the day - now defunct; The Embassy, London - Played some of my fave gigs there back in the days of the local jamband scene.

I'm not sure who still watches Survivor besides myself and some immediate friends, but i'm sure you've followed at least one of the 6 series from beginning to end. As a fitting end to the latest installment, i bring to you the Top 5 Ways to Get Voted Off Survivor. This doesn't necessarily apply to the recent one, although mine contain a couple of jokes based out of events that occurred there. So have some fun and drop in a couple ideas if you have'em!

Top 5 Ways to Get Voted Off Survivor

1. Become so conniving and deceitful that you end up screwing yourself in the ass!
2. Conceal a Happy Meal in your luggage, only to have it discovered and devoured by your tribe. As a double whammy they take the toy and shove it directly up your ass, leaving you more constipated than you already are.
3. Become stinking drunk at one of the reward challenges involving alcohol, then shit in your tribe's packs while they're sleeping.
4. Accidentally form an alliance with a sloth.
5. Lose so much weight that it causes your dick and balls to resemble a kielbasa sausage resting on two grapefruits, then claim your new uncomfortable situation as your "handicap".

A quick one before work here today, based on the annual "Summer Movie Listing" that shows up in the paper in the spring. Some i've been waiting for awhile, and some just sound interesting or funny, but you can bet i'll catch'em all soon. You might notice a couple of the "super mega highly anticipated sequels" (read: Matrix) missing from this list. That's not to say i won't check it out, but to be honest i haven't even seen the complete first Matrix so i'm not losing sleep over it! So here we go with Top 5 Anticipated Summer Movies.

Top 5 Anticipated Summer Movies

1. When Harry Met Lloyd. Being a big fan of Dumb and Dumber, i was pretty excited to hear this was in the works, then bummed when it didn't include the original cast, and now a bit re-stoked anyways, since it's probably just damn goofy.
2. Bruce Almighty. Jim Carrey with God's powers. Not too far of a stretch, eh?
3. A Mighty Wind. This is already open in select cities, mine not being one of them. Christopher Guest's subtle improv comic genius a la Best in Show and Waiting for Guffman, with much of the same cast and of course the Spinal Tap lads as a folk trio. Sweetness.
4. Kill Bill. It's not supposed to be out until Fall, but the wait for a new Tarantino film has been so long that it will fly by and therefore qualifies for the Summer listing, get it?
5. The Hulk. The only "blockbuster" on my list, i'm just curious to see how they pull this off "realistically". That, and i can't wait to once again hear the line, "You won't like me when i'm angry."

Sorry i slacked off last week. Today, as a summer morning warmup and also as potential material for Justin's setlist, we are going to address the Top 5 Acoustic Songs (for a morning mix or a groovy setlist). Some of the good stuff could make my next mix cd currently in the works or even passed on to Justin as he pads his acoustic set with some upbeat "beachy" numbers for the summer patio scene. Keep in mind that my list won't include songs that are either on my current mixes or in Justin's set, so no berating me for leaving out killer stuff like Zeppelin! But you guys have at'er. I think we're all pretty straight forward here, so give'er!

Top 5 Acoustic Songs (for a morning mix or a groovy setlist)

1. Ooh La La - The Faces. Everyone knows this track, although not by name, but if you hear it - "I wish.... that.... i knew what i know now, when i was younger.." I think it's also in a recent car commercial, but i think it's best use came at the end of Rushmore. How many of you left that movie singing that song? My hand is up.
2. Remember - Hendrix. A great, bouncy little number that always throws out a positive vibe.
3. Friend of the Devil or Bertha - Grateful Dead. Not sure which one to go with yet, as Justin is not a big Dead fan, but i think either one would be well-received by a beer-soaked, sun-drenched crowd.
4. Copperhead Road - Steve Earle. I just dig it - rockin' vibe that really kicks when the song kicks in.
5. Diamonds on the Inside - Ben Harper. From his latest album, this is a great track that would fit the bill for a mix cd or a new crowd fave at a show. Is this his first single? I'm not sure, but it would make a great one.

Better late than never, eh? So with some slight encouragement we will delve into the world of sports for the first time and list our personal Top 5 Sports Memories (preferably for your country, but not necessarily). This topic as you can see from my previous posting is inspired and in honour of Mike Weir's achievement from the past weekend. This doesn't have to be on an international scale, either. If your high school football memories top your list, a la Al Bundy, then by all means share.

Top 5 Sports Memories

1. Blue Jays - World Series Champs '92 (& '93). Pandemonium ensued in downtown London as we all took to the streets to celebrate this first among Canadian baseball feats. My first "chaotic streets" experience.
2. Canadian Olympic Hockey Gold Medal '02. I was in Budapest for this, and how i longed to be back in the homeland for the mayhem and sheer joy and pride the event brought to us. We had a nifty little party of our own though, with 11 Canadians and 2 Americans (plus a couple of Norwegians and Brits) gathered around a TV for the historic game. Gretzky seen mouthing "Fucking Eh!" at the end was priceless.
3. Mike Weir - Masters Champion '03. As mentioned before, a feat never before accomplished by a Canadian golfer. Mike has done for golf in Canada what Tiger has done for the sport overall. Oh Canada!
4. Toronto Argonauts - Grey Cup Champs '91 (& '96,'97). I loved the CFL back then, and my boys bringing home the Cup was the sweetest of sweet! Doug Flutie bringing the back to back Cups several years later didn't hurt either.
5. Donovan Bailey - 100m Olympic Gold '96. This was also heavy at the time, and sweet redemption for the Ben Johnson drug fiasco that tainted Canadian sprinting up until this point.

Honourable Mentions - I would like to mention Stanley Cup runs by both my Islanders and the Oilers in the 80s, but these are more like legendary overall event memories than specific moment memories themselves, so they reside, while no less important, in the honourary category.

Today we are going with a reader submission as a topic. Amy has suggested the very cool Top 5 Greatest Hits Albums. These are a completely different animal than an official album release; in some cases these hits albums contain all the songs that most people will ever hear from a certain band. This can lead to fantastic new discoveries when you actually search out the full records that each of these hits came from and listen to that as a complete entity. This has happened to me on a few occasions and i have been more than stoked to expand my listening horizons. So, enough ramblin', and onto the list.

1. CCR - Chronicle. The definitive summer party/driving album, this was the only CCR i owned for the longest time. I have since expanded into all their works, and it is worth the trip!
2. Steve Miller's Greatest Hits. 3 words - High. School. Parties.
3. James Brown's 20 All-Time Greatest. JB lays down the funk funk with all his classics, and some slightly lesser known jams, but it's all good, it's all solid, and you always shake your ass off. We're gonna have a funky good time.
4. Blues Brothers Greatest Hits. Some studio tracks mixed with some live tracks, these guys are having fun the only way they know how. White boy blues for the people!
5. Paul Simon - Negotiations and Love Songs 71-86. Me and Julio were talking about 50 ways to leave our lovers late in the evening down by the schoolyard as we heard a train in the distance. We decided we were still crazy after all these years since she still had diamonds on the soles of her shoes and we changed our names to Al.

As the title states, this Top 5 is hot! So no more screwing around; let's get right down to business here. For our xxx-rated 30th Top 5 we will be listing the Top 5 Albums to Fuck To. What sets the mood? Who gets your rocks off? Who gets their rocks off? Do you fuck in complete silence? Perhaps to Beethoven a la Clockwork Orange? Maybe a one-off deal that you've always remembered due to musical selection? Whatever your preference, list it here and spread the lovin!

Top 5 Albums to Fuck To

1. Baduizm - Erykah Badu. Smooth, smooth, smooth. I saw her in an early interview referring to her debut album as baby-makin' music. Not so much when you bag it up, but a hit with the ladies nonetheless. My "busiest" CD.
2. The Way I Feel - Remy Shand. A newer entry in this field, this CD has strongly represented; sometimes twice. Gettin' down with that Motown sound.
3. Big Calm - Morcheeba. This was an "in the moment" selection, and was actually an after-the-fact-lay-in-bed-for-another-hour deal, but there was no better selection that could have been made at that time. Also my introduction to Morcheeba.
4. Toward The Within - Dead Can Dance. The exotic musical quality of this live album sets the tone for an intense union of souls, among other things. Serve with candles and incense. The audience response after each song adds a nice performance touch as well.
5. The Doors - The Doors. Open with Break On Through, drop in Back Door Man, and climax with The End - what more could you possibly ask for?!

I'm back this week after missing last week by feeling like shite. As some of my posts of the past week or two have eluded to, i'm pretty stoked on some of the upcoming concerts for this summer, so guess what this week's listing is about?! Top 5 Upcoming Summer Concert Events! Big or small, known or unknown, amphitheatre or club, list your fave upcoming concerts here and perhaps shed a little light on some sweet upcoming shows for the rest of us.

Top 5 Upcoming Summer Concert Events

1. Pearl Jam. I haven't seen the jam yet, and have been looking forward to catching a show since i got into them a little more intensely last year thanks to Killer Dave's extensive CD collection over in Budapest. Have snagged some tickets for the Toronto show as well as the 2nd Detroit show 2 days prior to Toronto. Woo Hoo!
2. Ben Harper & Jack Johnson. Ben is amazing live, and i'm really pumped to see Jack live. He'll have a new album out by then as well, so new stuff all around for these guys. Tix were secured last Friday.
3. DMB. Dave is coming to Toronto at the beginning of Sept., and tix are onsale way early, so local Dave fans take note - onsale this coming Saturday morning at 10am for the Amphitheatre show! Will be only my second DMB show.
4. Phish. Rumours are floating around about when/where Phish will be touring this summer. I've seen a few rumour dates online that elude to both a Toronto show, and a big end-of-tour blowout weekend in Maine again. Would be good to once again catch the sweetness live!
5. TBA. This is a "mystery" tour that i'd like to be involved in, and i'm just carrying on status quo until i catch some type of word here. More explanation to come when needed!

Amy has subtly reminded me that it is indeed Tuesday with an "Ahem... it's Tuesday!" I thank you muchly, and your suggestions also led to my selection of this week's topic, in which you can ironically complete one of your suggested lists! Confused yet? Me too. What i'm trying to say is that Amy emailed me a couple of her suggested topics, including some sample answers for each. So what i put forth this week is this - make a topic and post your top 5 to that topic. Everyone's will be different and probably more personal than other weeks, or if you feel inspired by someone else's topic you can answer theirs - whatever you like! So what we will hopefully end with here is a collection of completely different top 5 lists compiled within one top 5 tuesday! If this still makes no sense i can't help you at this point. If it does then carry on! Here's mine...

1. Mary Jane's Last Dance - Justin raged on the electric guitar, clicked on the wah pedal at the end, sang and played the harmonica part as well. We jammed along, for the first time in it's entirety, and it rocked!
2. Kiss - This was a standby tune, but was to be pulled out if the dance floor accumulated enough ladies. It did, and we did, falsetto voice and all. Prince is one funky mofo.
3. Crash Into Me - Another hit with the ladies, and also another first-timer, this song was the reason the dance floor filled up in the first place. Ladies love their Dave Matthews.
4. To Be Young - Nobody really knows much Ryan Adams around here, so this went over more due to the rockin' factor than the recognition factor. Opened and set the tone for the night. "One.., Two.., One, Weeeeeeehoooo....!"
5. Bubble Toes - Didn't expect anybody to know Jack Johnson, but not only did people know it, they were singing along! A welcome surprise for sure.

This week's topic should hit home for a lot of people, since i don't know anyone who hasn't spent hours selecting tracks to build the perfect mix tape (or more recently CD) for that perfect occasion or special someone. The beauty of these homemade collections is that when the dust has settled and the recording is done, you get to appropriately name your masterpiece. My list is just as much about the content and purpose of the mixes as it is about the titles, and i'm sure there are some outrageous titles that will make an appearance, so dig out those old cassettes or new CDs that you have lovingly assembled into the soundtrack of your life and list it in the Top 5 Mix Tape Names.

1. You Put Your Weed In There - Vols. I-IV. My original collection of jambands and road music featured everything from The Dead, Allmans, Jimi and The Doors to The Tea Party, ARU and moe. Four volumes were created with subtitles such as Granola, Love and Grooviness and The Time and Space Continuum. Ya, i was in a couple of jambands during this time period, can ya tell?
2. Funkmobile Soundtrack. This was the soundtrack for my first car, a 1982 Buick Regal with the velvety seats, half vinyl roof and wire-spoked hubcaps. The musical selections were all funky jams, including Sly, Funkadelic, Parliament, James Brown and many more. This was my most bootlegged tape by my friends, and i think it turned a lot of them on to the ways of the funk.
3. On The Road Again & Road II: Back to Maine.These bad boys were each created for the two back to back trips to Maine that the boys and i took to see Phish in Limestone, for both The Great Went and Lemonwheel. Tracks included some holdover bands from the Weed in There mixes, like some Dead, Allmans, etc. - the good driving stuff - and included some nice road additions like Willie Nelson, CCR, Zappa, Steve Miller, Phish et al.
4. Funked-up, Groovy-ass, Jam till ya Slam Mix. My best overall title, this one contained danceable grooves from both old school and new school, such as Mike Jackson, Prince, The Time and Jamiroquai.
5. Rockus for the Cockus - Vols. I-IV. I can't claim credit for this title (that honour goes to Metal Chris) but i can claim to be co-assembler, along with Killer Dave, of 3 kickass CDs full of cock rock. There are hairbands-a-plenty here, from Poison, GnR, Skid Row and the Crue to rockers AC/DC, The Four Horsemen and early Alice in Chains, who actually came out on the tail end of the hair band trip (I saw them open for Van Halen in Toronto). Metal Chris and I then created volume 4 of this monstrosity at a later date. Strap on your leather pants and hang on for the ride!

So last week we dropped the bomb with some great top 5 album selections. This week, in a similar vein, i would like to follow up with Top 5 Soundtracks, since they weren't allowed as choices last week, but are in themselves separate pieces that have to be viewed as a whole not only in the context of a movie, but top to bottom on an album release as well, while maintain some type of coherence or theme. The great ones do it oh so well, so we shall represent them here in a listing of their own.

1. Dazed and Confused. This one just plain rocks the party (both official releases, actually) from front to back. Fun classic rock for all occasions. "That's what i love about those high school girls, man..." Apparently Wooderson likes to play his bongos to the Nuge's Stranglehold, and many friends affectionately refer to Tuesday's Gone as the "no more beer" song.
2. High Fidelity. Any soundtrack that Cusack has his hands on is ok with me. Obscure older and more recent tracks combined with a couple of classics comprise a great "relationship" soundtrack that suits the movie to perfection. Jack Black also represents.
3. Rushmore. Quirky, fun compilation to a quirky, fun movie. Kinks to Cat Stevens to The Who. Great for a Sunday or Monday morning, as mentioned in a previous Top 5.
4. The Big Lebowski. Eclectic assembly of tracks to one of the best movies ever, we get some Dylan, some way old psychedelic Kenny Rogers, the Gipsy Kings' Hotel California and a great cover of the Stones' Dead Flowers by Townes Van Zandt.
5. Boogie Nights. Another party set here, this one has started off many a Friday night for me. Cheesy disco, cheesy pop and cheesy singalong ballads like Sister Christian make this one a winner. Bookended by some oh so bad Dirk Diggler-as-rockstar stuff.

Honourable Mentions: Black Hawk Down, Gladiator, Swingers, Snatch, Pulp Fiction.

Posted by scotty at 12:04 AM

Ok kids, it's on. Having missed last week i feel the need to come back with a solid and i'm sure controversial top 5. Something so subjective, so open to comment, ridicule and change, that it just had to be done. The time has come to lay down your top 5 albums of all time. It is with great trepidation that i present to you my choices, which don't necessarily represent my fave bands of all time, but albums that i come back to time after time, regardless of current trends or listening habits. One way or another they find their way into my stereo and get a solid spin from top to bottom, again and again and again. The rules are simple; LPs and even EPs can qualify, as do live releases, but soundtracks and greatest hits packages don't. And here we go...

1. The Doors - The Doors. One of the greatest debut releases of all time. The energy, originality, darkness and emotion captured here are second to none. Love them or hate them, Jim and the Boys are in rare form here.
2. London Calling - The Clash. As referenced in earlier listings, this album will always represent my first European tour, and all of the fun and madness that went along with it. A definitive album for it's time and a frame of reference to it's followers, it is what most would call a punk rock masterpiece.
3. Blind Melon - Blind Melon. An album that connects the hippie jam rock from back in the day to the modern era; fun, touching and timeless. This album goes on every road trip with me.
4. When I Woke - Rusted Root. Again a throwback to the era of peace and love, the rhythms alone provide me with limitless energy. Add in the vibrant songs and unique vocal sounds to the tribal rhythms and you've got a big winner.
5. The Last Waltz - The Band. This is the album that i had to qualify by allowing live recordings into the mix. The Band is absolutely fantastic, and combined with the plethora of guest artists here they have created the ultimate concert recording.

Wassup y'all. Checkin' in here at the end of the day but it's all good 'cause the calendar still says "Tuesday" right? I was hummin' and hawin' over today's topic and was debating on running with "new albums" or "latest and greatest reads", but then i thought, "Why narrow it down?" So what we are going with this week are your Top 5 Latest BAM Finds - Books, Albums and Movies are all game for the listing. Whether it's new or old, as long as it's new to you it's ok with me. We could be talking something mainstream you are digging on, or something underground that's rockin' your world right now. Whatever it is, just share the love.

1. Prague by Arthur Phillips. This is a crazy read for me, since the story takes place in Budapest (don't let the title fool ya), of which both the author and i are familiar. It's fiction, but refers to many streets and landmarks that exist, along with many ex-pat pasttimes that occur in Budapest, and i'm sure in many more European scenes. It's great to relate.
2. Power in Numbers - Jurassic 5. I love their first album, Quality Control, (a must-play in large party situations) and bought this one based solely on that merit. I was not disappointed. I don't usually buy that much hip hop, but this stuff is jammin!
3. Made. Written and directed by Jon Favreau and starring Jon and Vince Vaughn, the two Swingers stars are back at it in a mobbish comedy that i wasn't even aware of until a couple of weeks ago. Very funny, with as many quotable lines as Swingers had ("Did you just let Screech into the fuckin' bar?!"), this movie, and especially Vince, kills!
4. Jason Mraz. I believe the Sweet One dropped this guy on us a little while back, but i have been recently extensively enjoying the sweet acoustic stylings of Mr. Mraz, even though i can't find one of his cds in town here to save my life! I don't wanna have to download, but for now it will have to do. One quote i read described him as "Jack Johnson on Prozac." Fitting.
5. 24 Hour Party People. This film was cool. It's about the Manchester music scene from the mid 70s through the 80s and follows Tony Wilson as the central character involved in the early careers of of Joy Division, Happy Mondays and New Order, among others, as they lead into the beginnings of the rave scene. I will definitely be listening to more of this music in the near future as i wasn't really into it at the time - especially the Mondays - they sound like fun times.

I was getting a bit bored of the Top 5s, to be honest, but last week produced a fair number of interesting comments, so i'm back again this week to post one of my earlier suggestions - Top 5 Deceased artists to go back and see in concert if you could time travel. This includes individuals or full bands that have dead guys. Advanced warning - my list may slightly exceed 5. :)

1. The Doors. Anyone who knows me knows that i would give my left nut to be able to go back and see Jim and the boys in their prime. I have this killer book compiled by some nut that went back and researched every Doors performance, complete with date, location, venue and set lists - any Deadhead would be familiar with this type of dedication in the Deadbase volumes - so i could even research the exact show that i would like to attend, should time travel become an option in the future.
2. The Band. I saw The Band back in 90-91, but that was without Richard Manuel and of course without Robbie, but was still a great show as Levon could still sing back then. A performance by the original Band would be second to none. I would actually give my other nut to be able to go back and attend The Last Waltz.
3. Jimi. Nuff said.
4. Bob Marley. I can only imagine the love and positive vibes that must have spread over a Marley show. Before they started making attempts on his life, that is.
5. Zeppelin. Bonham was a madman. He was the first rock guy that i styled my drumming after. Bonham's two hour drum solo? You couldn't handle that shit on strong acid, man!

Honourable Mentions - The Dead (have seen them, but back with Pigpen would be stellar), The Clash, Janis, Allman Bros. (have seen many times, but back with brother Duane), Blind Melon (again), Blues Brothers, Nirvana.


Posted by scotty at 12:10 AM

Well, i'm still milking some of your great suggestions a couple of weeks ago for topics here, and this week's topic is a suggestion courtesy of maddy, so i bring to you Top 5 Guilty Pleasures. Pretty self-explanatory here (i think!) - if it's something you shouldn't be indulging in, or wouldn't normally be expected to, or if it's a little off the beaten path then i believe it qualifies. It feels so good to be so bad! ;)

1. 90210. I have watched every episode of this greatest of shows, much to the chagrin and disgust of many of my friends, and if it was still on in reruns i would still tune in. I'm waiting for the day when they put the entire series out on dvd. I'll buy all 50 discs, or however many it takes!
2. Not exercising. I just don't really do it. I should, i sometimes even want to, but at the end of the day the motivation is just not there. Perhaps when i start adding a few pounds of gut onto my front then i'll haul ass to the gym, but for now.... ? Of course i'll feel it for a few days after doing something like hitting the slopes for a weekend, but that's the sacrifice i'm willing to make!
3. Skinny Sticks Nacho Cheese Snacks. I don't think the "skinny stick low fat guidlines" count if you eat them a bag at a time!
4. Selected "Chick Flicks". I'll probably be more likely to sit through and actually enjoy parts of these movies than 95% of my friends. This one film in particular, Kissing a Fool, with Jason Lee and David Schwimmer, easily qualifies for this category, and i've even sat through it with some chicks that didn't like it, but it's one of my faves! Call me a sap.
5. Drinking alone.

According to the popular suggestion count from last week's "poll" i have no choice but to make this week's topic Top 5 Vacation/Travel Destinations (that you want to hit up of course). Some great suggestions were made last week that will definitely make appearances in upcoming lists. Rock on, guys and gals.

1. Machu Picchu - Peru. Saw some stunning photos from my aunt and cousins' trip/hike there last year and have added it to my list of places that need to be visited at some point during my lifetime.
2. Pretoria - South Africa. Met a great South African character named Nils during my time in Budapest, who has graciously extended an invitation to his homeland any time he is back there. Must take him up on his hospitality!
3. L.A. (with a side trip to Vegas). Chris and Larissa have been there, and are going back, and i'm going with them this time damn it! A little club hopping on Sunset Strip and running into aging rock stars from the 80s/90s scene sounds good to me!
4. Australia/NZ. As with most people, i want to check this scene out at some point. Any spare bedrooms, Maddy? ;)
5. Whistler/Blackcomb - B.C. (full season, ski bum) - For one ski season during my lifetime i want a season's pass and no job so every day can be a powder day!

Very Honourable Mention - My cousin and i, a long time ago, discussed the possibility and reality of hiking the entire Bruce Trail from down around the Niagara region up to Tobermory. I see no reason why this can't be done at some point in our lives when we both have a summer off - that can happen right?

P.S. - If you haven't already, you should really check out the SNL Cowbell skit (my domain's inspiration) that i mentioned has been found online. It's worth the 5 minutes of your time!

This week (posted a tad early with a time adjustment to the blog entry ;) i need some help from the faitful that drop by here week in and week out. I was contemplating doing something different for Tuesdays in the new year, but figure with a little help from my friends i can drag this top 5 thing out a little longer! This week's list is very participatory, so don't be shy! What i'm looking for here are your Top 5 Top 5 Topics for Upcoming Top 5s - the good, the bad and the ugly. I am looking for serious, humourous, offensive, enlightening - anything that you feel would make a sweet top 5. Then over the next few weeks i can put the best suggestions to use as actual lists - sound good? As well, if any of my suggestions grab your eye let me know and i'll be sure to press it into action down the road.

1. Deceased artists to go back and see in concert if you could time travel
2. Seinfeld episodes
3. Parents' vinyl (stuff that got you into good music habits)
4. SNL skits (guess which one would be my fave? ;)
5. Vacations to take

Happy New Year's Eve Day everyone. Since the top 5 took a brief hiatus last week being xmas eve and all, i bring to the table a double top 5 list this week - feel free to do only one, both or none! It's a giving and receiving thing, to cover all the angles of course.

1. Almost Famous Bootleg Cut DVD (see previous blog entry) - A killer dvd full of extras, a 6 song Stillwater CD and 42 minutes of extra footage added to the movie itself - didn't think you could expand on such a killer movie? You sure as hell can! Dig this if you get a chance.
2. 1000 Record Covers - The title says it all - this book is grouped into decades and presents to you, in full colour, 1000 album covers. Sweetness.
4. DVD Player - I didn't actually get the player for xmas, but took some xmas cash and bought it a couple of days later, so it counts. I needed something to play my new dvds on!
5. Collective start to dvd collection - The above-mentioned Almost Famous, The Big Lebowski, Dumb and Dumber and High Fidelity all have the honour of being the first movies in my dvd collection. Not a bad start indeed.
6. Socks and Underwear - Believe it or not this most standard of xmas gifts was greatly needed this year, and therefore exponentially more appreciated!

Top 5 Coolest Gifts Given

1. 4-Picture Stainless Steel Frame Containing Budapest Pics - I drew my aunt's name in the big gift exchange this year, and being the traveller that she is, decided i'd give her a personal taste of my travel experiences from last year. She loved it. Also threw in the latest Tori Amos CD and a bigass candle for good measure.
2. "Pumpkin" mug, Rusted Root mounted poster, bigass candle - Janelle received this from me. The mount and candle were on the level, while the mug was a pseudo joke gift referencing her recommendation of the movie "Pumpkin", which proceeded to suck ass. She has since acquired this nickname.
3. Pearl Jam Touring Band 2000 dvd - I love this dvd, as it was our only visual source of live music overseas (Killer Dave had a copy) and i so wanted to keep it for myself, but relented and actually gave it to my brother-in-law.
4. & also 5. T-shirts i won at a Christmas party this year. They fit my cousins profiles so well that it was a shame to keep them for myself so i used them as stocking stuffers for them. Not really re-gifting per say, since i didn't have them given to me, i won them, man!

Hey there, kids. This week i am posting my first user-submitted top 5 as the listing of choice, mostly because i received this list written in a Christmas card from Paula and thought that was cool enough to warrant posting this week as the list. That, and the fact that it's similar to my list as well. :) So here we go with the last pre-Christmas top 5 - Top 5 Favourite Christmas Movies.

1. A Christmas Story - "You'll shoot your eye out!"
2. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
3. Meet Me in St. Louis
4. Miracle on 34th Street
5. It's A Wonderful Life

Hey there, kids. Sorry for the evening posting instead of the usual late monday/tuesday a.m. deal, but lengthy Christmas hours at work beckon. I was pondering not posting one this week, but then quickly came to my senses after browsing the "suggested topics" listing i keep. This week's listing is near and dear to my heart, as many of my close friends will tell you - Top 5 Currently Overused Expressions by Me (or You). Pretty straight forward here - what sayings are you getting the most mileage out of these days? I tend to mix in some steadfast classics with a couple of sayings de jour to keep things interesting and keep my friends thoroughly amused or annoyed, depending on who you ask. While most of my list makes me sound like a valley girl, they are mostly for comedic effect, and largely for my own amusement!

1. Totally Killer. - used in reference to most things that are pretty fucking cool.
2. Sweet-Boulay. - actually someone's last name that came in on an order form at work, and is a nice extension on the also-oft-used sweet.
3. Nice! - used aaaaaaaallllllllllll the time.
4. Yooooooooooooooooooooooooo! - used exclusively as first greeting when calling someone or answering the phone.
5. Alright Alright. - spoken with a Wooderson (Dazed and Confused) accent when things are, in fact, all right.

This week's list moves back into the realm of film, and those oft-viewed classics that you never seem to tire of, that "best friend" of a movie that is there for you night in and night out. You know every line of dialogue, every scene, every note of music on the soundtrack, and still you look forward to the next time the mood strikes you and you reach for it one more time. These aren't necessarily the movies you've seen the most number of times, like finding Footloose on the Saturday afternoon movie for the millionth time and watching again for the hell of it, but movies you pop in because you really want to. This week's title is Top 5 Movies You Can Watch Again, and Again and Again... (Subtitled: The First Movies I Will Buy on DVD When I Finally Get a DVD Player.)

1. High Fidelity. I can watch this movie for the rest of my life, i think, and not become tired of it. Especially good after a breakup, Cusack brings it home with one of his best performances, and the soundtrack and Jack Black round it out in top form. Est. # of viewings: 30-ish.
2. Dazed and Confused. One of the ultimate "I'm not partying right now so lets throw on a good-time party movie" movies. Est. # of viewings: high 30's.
3. Eyes Wide Shut. From what i gather this is a love-it-or-hate-it movie. Obviously i'm in the love-it category. The story is so deliberate in it's pace and dialogue, with vivid colours at every turn, that it just sucks me right in every time. Est. # of viewings: mid-teens.
4. Almost Famous. Although my viewings total is on the low side, probably due to the fact that i don't own it and rent or borrow it every time i want to see it, it's one of the ultimate rock rides contained on film, and will probably be the first DVD i acquire when the time comes. Est. # of viewings: high single digits.
5. The Big Lebowski. Classic Coen Bros. Classic Soundtrack. Classic Comedy. This dude abides! Est. # of viewings: high-teens.

For this week's listing we once again stray off the musical path over to something equally as dear to our hearts - porn. What we are looking for here are your Top 5 Joke Porno Titles. Take the name of a movie, tv show, etc. and pornify it! It's that simple - fun for the whole family! I'm sure you've all heard the classics (Romancing the Bone, Forrest Hump), that are so classic they must be real porns by now. Some of these may be, too. Give'er.

1. Saving Ryan's Privates
2. Divine Secrets of the Sisterhood's Ya-Yas
3. Dude, Where's my Whore?
4. Everybody Fucks Raymond
5. I Know Who You Did Last Summer

Good day, all. First off, thanks muchly for the birthday wishes. Good times were had by all, many beers consumed, and no arrests were made - we talked them down to a fine. Welcome to my Carlsberg years, everyone. I hope nobody expects a more mature, refined blog now that i'm old n' busted, 'cause it ain't gonna happen! Silliness will abound for years to come. Speaking of, this week's entry is a tad silly, which in my mind is a good thing. This week i bring to you... Top 5 Names in Music. What we are looking for here are names of musicians, not bands, and they can be actual or stage, as long as they are "cool". And since everyone's definition of cool should be all over the map, we should have some great names here!

1. Leighton Beezer. This name just melts off your tongue. A member of several bands from the Pacific Northwest music scene, Leighton was featured prominently in the incredible documentary Hype!, which chronicles the rise and demise of the late 80s-early 90s Seattle rock movement and it's key players. A must-see for any fan of rock music.
2. Rivers Cuomo. It's all about the "s" on Rivers. And of course Weezer rocks as well.
3. Nikki Sixx. A very symmetrical use of the double k's and double x's. Nice, clean, easy to spell when drunk. The male/female option on the first name is a nice touch as well. An all-around great rock name.
4. Engelbert Humperdinck.
5. Apt. Q258. Drummer for Aquarium Rescue Unit. It's his real name, i swear.

They are everywhere, and have been since the history of rock music began. I'm talking about the one hit wonder, and they are the subject of this week's Top 5 listing. Whether you view the artist as lame for only pumping out a single hit, or respect them for even getting to that point in their careers, they are here to stay. So dust off those fave records that nobody has heard or everyone has forgotten and let's get down to it.

1. Black Betty - Ram Jam. Riffs. Attitude. Huge fills. Harmonious guitars. Tempo changes. My stereo volume goes to 11 every time this tune comes on the radio. That, and i get the image of Johnny Depp cruising through the airport ever-so-smoothly in a white suit with 2 suitcases of coke.
2. Jungle Love - The Time. One of my favourite funky jams of all time, Morris Day and The Time were the highlight of Purple Rain for me, and ruled the world for this brief moment in time. Just ask Jay and Silent Bob!
3. American Pie - Don McLean. The ultimate one-hit wonder, this song is a classic no matter how you slice it. Madonna should be shot for her butchery of this track.
4. The Time Warp. I don't even know who wrote this, and for all i know it could be some famous writer of all soundtrack music ever made, but if you don't get up and jump insanely around the room when this comes on you'd better be missing your legs.
5. Then I Got High - Afroman. This song amused me for a very brief moment in time last year, but it was a very funny moment. Where the hell is Afroman now??

Here we are at listing #12 - 3 solid months of making lists on Tuesday. I think it's the most organized i've ever been! This week we go back once again to where it all began and draw a topic from High Fidelity - Top 5 Records to Play on a Monday Morning. Ya, i know it's Tuesday, but you can put it into action next Monday and every week thereafter. Mondays have a certain vibe that needs catering to, and for me uplifting is definitely the way to start off the week and these cds help me struggle through Mondays on a regular basis. Several of them also apply to a lazy Sunday morning as well, maintaining the light vibe that is characteristic of a Sunday morning and so sorely required the next day.

1. Bob Marley and The Wailers - The Record Plant Session, 10/31/73. While not an official release as far as i'm aware, this is a widely distributed bootleg of The Wailers live at the Record Plant at the time of their first album. Positive vibes from the early reggae sound The Wailers produced are all over this recording, from the Rastaman Chant that starts it off through to the end of the session 45 minutes later. This show, and MANY other shows from taper-friendly bands can be downloaded in either SHN or MP3 format from FurthurNet. If you are a fan of live music and don't have this trading system running on your computer, drop what you are doing and get it now! Too many bands available to name here, and so many shows available in one single download. It was like Christmas when i first hopped on last year. Live it, laugh it, love it, dig it.
2. John Mayer - Room For Squares - A semi-recent addition to my cd collection, this cd, and especially the first 5 tracks, can lift you off the ground and send you sky-high in no time. A great listen at any time, really.
3. Morcheeba - Big Calm - Was actually introduced to this over in Budapest on a Sunday morning and it couldn't have been more fitting. Translates well over to Monday.
4. Rushmore Soundtrack - A crazy collection of positive tunes, the range of artists, from Cat Stevens to The Who, is as quirky and engaging as the movie.
5. Oasis - Definitely Maybe - This is a great cd to fire up a Monday with a little attitude. Rock and Roll Star sets the tone and away you go, happily sneering through the day.

Good day, all. This week's list is pretty straightforward. We've all got'em, some more than others, and they invade our daily lives as little nuisances that may go completely unnoticed by many but get you totally bent out of shape. What we are talking about here is the classic pet peeve. So strap on your whinin' shoes and have at'er!

1. Speling Mistaks. Nothing drives me up the wall quicker than seeing spelling and grammar mistakes made by grown men and women. Spelling is almost unforgivable, with grammar a close second. You learn this stuff in grade school, people! I don't claim to be perfect myself, but if i think something may be amiss i'll fire up Word and run the checkers on my stuff to see what's up. At least attempt to correct your shit! And for the love of all things good and pure, figure out and use the proper instances of there, their, they're, you're and your! (For the record, i like to start sentences with "and" a fair bit. I know it's technically wrong, but in my book can still be used on occasion when continuing a point. :)
2. The word "Whatever". Ok, i lied. Using "whatever" drives me just as crazy as spelling mistakes do. To me, there is no one word more dismissive and apathetic than whatever. The ONLY way i can tolerate it's use is at the end of a string of options, as in "Grab me a Bud, or a Blue, or a Keiths, or whatever's going." If you come back at me with whatever as a one word answer be prepared to receive the sonic death stare!
3. Cigarette butts thrown out car windows. Do you have an ashtray in your car? Use it! If not, grab a pop can and keep it in your drink holder. The world is not your ashtray, and neither was my old Supra with the leak in the gas tank. Talk about a double whammy if i saw a butt fly out in front of me - super pet peeve and potential death wish!
4. Websites that resize my browser window. Ok, now we're getting into geek territory here, but i honestly will close down a site immediately if my browser window is resized to their specs when the page loads. If you want to pull that shit, give me an intro page and resize a popup page on top of it.
5. *smile* *wink* *grin* etc. Nauseatingly cutesy. Smiley faces are fine, textual facial expressions enclosed in asterixes** are not.

Good day all. Welcome to the dress-up edition of Top 5 Tuesday. With Hallowe'en fast approaching and the parties creeping up even faster, i thought i'd lay out a few ideas for costume parties, so this week's listing is Top 5 Costume Party Themes. Ideas can run anything from the standards to the slightly abstract to the absurd if you like. As long as it involves putting on some clothing or using some props not involved in your daily wear, it's fair game.

1. Magnum P.I. - A slight variation on the Hawaiian luau theme, which we rocked last year, guys must choose to be Magnum, Rick, TC or Higgins and the ladies can adapt to a more traditional Hawaiian garb or just throw on a bikini and be the girl Magnum is floating in the water during the opening credits. A moustache and crazy shirt are a must for any Magnum, with recommended Tigers hat and shorty shorts to top off the outfit.
2. White Trash- Already pressed into action for one of Paula's shindigs, the white trash look can be easily achieved by raiding any remaining stashes of 80s/early 90s wear, grabbing the mesh hat you use to cut the lawn, blacking out a few teeth and shrinking your tshirt 2 sizes too small. Mullets are mandatory. Kid Rock cds optional.
3. Bob Dylan Characters - This is one of the most interesting ones i've come across of late. I read about the idea in the liner notes to Dylan's Biograph collection, and there are many characters indeed, from Mr. Tambourine Man to Hattie Carroll, the choice is yours. I'd probably be stuck inside of mobile with the memphis blues again. Definitely need to try this one with the proper assembly of Dylanites.
4. 80s Rock Star - The video generation provided more than enough tacky eye candy to fill rooms with neon-coloured-poofy-haired party guests. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
5. Toga - The tried and true classic, the failsafe, the legendary Animal House-esque collection of sheeted persons that are 3 sheets to the wind, and probably shortly thereafter, 2 sheets to the floor. And i've yet to attend one. I suck!

This week's top 5 gets a little silly. I'm not sure if i'm the only one who does this, but whenever i hear and repeat a word or phrase that sounds like it would make a crazy band name i make note of it. If i am the only one then this will be a barren top 5! So basically the category sums up as Top 5 Crazy Band Names That Don't Exist But Should. Or something to that effect. :) Even if you don't have 5 i'm sure you can come up with one or two, or even the name you'd call your band if you had one, or something that just sounds like it would make a good name. Naming a band is the hardest thing to do, so maybe we are providing a public service here for the nameless bands of the world! Rock it.

1. Westferris Band Cardigan
   Matty said this on the phone one day, as in, "Man, i just found my...." and we laughed. A lot. My new favourite fake band name.



2. Gardening Monks
   I was talking to my friend Mary when she was out west in Victoria and she mentioned that she lived across from monks that liked to garden. Add to band name list!



3. Midnight Steak Incident
   Almost a band, if we ever get together enough tunes to start booking shows, but arose from Metal Chris' drunken 2 AM bbq debacle in which he couldn't keep the bbq lit, so ended up abandoning a raw steak on the grill after about an hour.



4. Sheep '97
   The title of a stimulating event that was mentioned in the hilarious book Round Ireland With a Fridge. Read this book if you get the chance. Satisfaction guaranteed.



5. Stu Brodie's Party Machine
   A suggested name for a basement band way back in the day. Our singer/guitarist Stu Brodie was the nicest guy you'd ever want to meet, but not exactly the epitomy of "party".

My web host had been down for almost 24 hours now, but i'm back! First time since i've been with them (4 months) - hope it's not a recurring theme. I'm back in action after a great wedding weekend. Everything went off as planned and my sister is currently enjoying her honeymoon up in the Algonquin region. But more about the weekend in Wednesday's post. Today, to the topic at hand, our first reader-requested topic: Top 5 Albums that Define a Period in Your Life. Any time frame is eligible, from a memorable night to perhaps a sweet vacation to even an entire decade. We all have a favourite record that transports us back in time to a specific year and place every time we play it, and now we want to hear about them in all their glory! Chronological order is also suggested, from earliest to most current.

1. 1985 - INXS - The Swing/Listen Like Thieves
   I had these two albums taped on both sides of a blank tape from my friend's vinyl copies. I played them ad nauseum through the end of public school and into high school. I think Burn For You is one of my favourite songs of all time. I still have that cassette around here somewhere.
2. 1992 - Rage Against the Machine
   First year of college and i meet Rich and Geoff. We form a metal band. Our music production teacher Jack Richardson leaks a copy of his son Garth's latest project to the class. That project is the first Rage album and our minds and ears would never be the same. Still one of my regular listens and still some of the phattest tones captured on record.
3. 1995 - Little Feat - Waiting for Columbus
   I enter into my jamband/hippie transformation by helping to form our great
   folk-funk-jamband, Kickstand Travolta. Our keys player Ben "Hair Salon" Harrison exposes me to much Dead and Phish. We hit the road to see the Dead. This CD is played about 10 times over the 3-day excursion and burned into my brain as the soundtrack to my best full concert experience ever. I still love jambands to this day.
4. August 9, 1995 - Grateful Dead - Barton Hall, Cornell University, Ithaca, N.Y. - 05-16-81 (tape)
   Set 2 from this show was the first show played the day the music died. Shakedown Street opened the set. Our band had a show that evening and we played a spirited rendition of Shakedown in honour of the man.
5. 1999 - The Clash - London Calling
   Forever burned into memory as the soundtrack to a tour of Germany and Holland that i played on with the band Red/Uisce Beatha (same guys; one band rock, one celtic). I was one of only 2 guys with licenses so i split the driving with Mitsy, our bass player. We had 4 tapes in the van for the whole tour: Oasis - Definitely Maybe and What's the Story..., a Bob Marley mix tape, some crazy misc. mix tape our booking agent made us, and London Calling. Fantastic experience.

Some people i know haven't seen Titanic, or The Phantom Menace, or even Rocky Horror for that matter! This week's category springs from the phenomenon of just never getting to see that movie. Whether you keep seeing the preview for it on another rental, or walk by it a hundred times in the video store, or say you'll get it for sure next time, or the person you're renting it with won't tolerate another viewing, or if it's just a huge movie that you never ended up seeing, this week's listing salutes those movies: Top 5 Movies You've Always Meant to See Yet Haven't. So let's get to it; movies big or small, new or old, foreign or domestic - anything goes as long as you've been meaning to see it for some time.

1. Best In Show
   Christopher Guest is a subtle comic genius, dating back to Spinal Tap up through Waiting for Guffman. I've been meaning to see this for some time, and even have it written down to do so, yet...



2. Hard Core Logo
   A Canadian film starring Hugh Dillon from the Headstones as the singer of a crazy ficticious rock band on the road, this is apparently a great rock n' roll ride i have yet to take.



3. The Truman Show
   I dig Jim Carrey's over the top comedy, but have not seen his first acclaimed "dramatic" role.



4. Before Sunrise
   I've had a couple of apparent "Before Sunrise" experiences, according to the other people involved. I guess i should eventually find out what the hell they were talking about.



5. The Matrix
   I have yet to see The Matrix. This is my "big one".
Posted by scotty at 12:02 AM

I have applied my most extensive legwork to date (it was fun) to bring you this week's top 5 list, but as you will see it was necessary to convey my points accurately and enjoyably. Using a musical (and visual) theme once again (notice a trend?), i bring you my Top 5 Album Covers. While i don't expect anyone to go to this extent (or even to comment, for that matter - i'm still stoked that people just drop in here!), a slight description would be cool on some of the lesser known covers, to set the scene up. They don't necessarily have to be the covers of your fave albums, just ones that convey some type of message to you or are simply stand-alone works of art (as are a couple of my honourable mentions). You can click the small cover pics shown here to bring up a page of larger versions for better viewing and a bit of extra info. Enjoy!

Top 5 Album Covers

1.		American Beauty Grateful Dead A classic from Stanley Kelly and Alton Mouse, creators of many famous rock posters and album covers in the 60's, this piece captures beautifully the roots rock Americana feel that the Dead achieved with this album. The way the text was created it can also be read (misread?) as "american reality".
2.		Axis: Bold As Love Jimi Hendrix Experience A psychedelic masterpiece, this vibrant cover features the band surrounded by Hindu imagery. I made a 2 ft. square mounted poster of this cover for my office at one time. It has since passed on.
3.		Destroyer KISS This illustration captures the larger-than-life comic book character fantasy that is KISS. Every kid's rock and roll dream. The wraparound portion of this cover depicts a burning cityscape, as you can see the flames and rubble under KISS' big-ass boots.
4.		III Led Zeppelin A crazy collage of a cover, which i didn't realize until later (since i first owned the cassette) contained a spinning wheel inside the sleeve that rotated different images which could be viewed through holes in the cover.
5.		Maggot Brain Funkadelic At first glance i disliked this cover, but after listening to the album repeatedly, i realized it suits the psychedelic, acid-soaked, funky, soulful, rock grooves to perfection. The title track contains one of the sickest extended guitar solos ever recorded.

Ok everyone, in honour of top 5 list # 5, we’re going back to an official High Fidelity listing here – top 5 dream jobs. This list is open to entries either real (present day jobs you’d ideally like to have) or literally “dream” jobs (can include jobs of the past that would have killed, like journalist at Rolling Stone from ’76-’79). State reasons if you like, or just let the job speak for itself. As long as the brain flips into dream mode for a few minutes this listing has accomplished it’s goal. Have fun! (Note: This listing is also for current personal therapeutic use and potential career changes.)

1. Professional Drummer. This includes joining a somewhat established act, becoming a session player-for-hire, starting a solid performing act from the ground up or any feasible combination of the 3. “Professional” is defined as being paid enough to live comfortably using only these means. Styles can vary from funk to rock to pop to r&b to blues and beyond. Possible relocation necessary.
2. Live Sound Technician. Back in the day, for any of the following: The Doors, Grateful Dead, Hendrix, The Who, Zeppelin, The Band, Bob Dylan, Allman Brothers, Bob Marley, Neil Young. Any of these acts and many more were prone to mesmerizing live performances, extended improvised jams and animated crowd reactions. To actually be involved in conveying that sound to the audience, as well as having the sweetest seat in the house for any of these classic performances would have been nothing short of heaven. Not to mention the outrageous backstage antics that I’d have a pass for.
3. Freelance Web Designer. Although this is what I am currently doing, something about the situation needs to be altered to make it the ultimate dream job. The key to this title is the freelance part – not working for “the man”. I am not the best salesman in the world, but when a job is secured I work it like there’s no tomorrow. Perhaps I need to hook up with a couple more sales-minded individuals or network more with other people in similar fields, and even get the word out to more of my friends to pass on the good word. Any inquiries or comments are welcome. Possible relocation necessary.



4. Movie Critic. I could watch movies endlessly, pausing only to sleep, dig some tunes and occasionally eat, if that. As Roger Ebert said, the only obstacle to becoming a professional movie critic is finding someone to pay you for your opinions.



5. Bob Dylan.

Ok, people. Today we weigh in with our first real heavyweight contender in the Top 5 Tuesday listing. Drum roll, please........... your top 5 concert experiences. I know this will be a tough call for many people, so again i'll allow a couple of "honourable mentions", as i have listed as well below. What we are going for here is not necessarily the best concert performance ever, although i'm sure that will factor into many selections, but the overall "experience" - from getting lost on the drive down to the parking lot scene to getting arrested after the show - whatever factors make it the memorable experience that is burned into your concert-going soul. Pull out your ticket stubs and take it away...

1. Grateful Dead - June 27-28, 1995 - Palace of Auburn Hills - Auburn Hills, MI
   
   Definitely long past the Dead's prime, but these 2 shows were my first and last Dead experiences. I cashed in a life insurance policy to buy tickets for me and a friend! Too many more memories to cram in here - 'nuff said!




2. Blind Melon - Dec. 9, 1993 - Lulu's - Kitchener, ON
   
   In their prime, standing about 8 feet away from Shannon Hoon, hoping he didn't piss on us!




3. Phish - Aug. 15-16, 1998 - Lemonwheel - Limestone, Maine
   
   75,000 of your closest friends camped out, partying and absorbing 2 days of Phish bliss. Also gave birth to the infamous "Scarlet Walk" - Bill and I walking by about 8 consecutive campsite stereos playing various versions of Scarlet Begonias at different points in the song progressing from start to finish. One of my most cosmic experiences ever.




4. Ben Harper - March 14, 1998 - Massey Hall - Toronto, ON
   
   Incredibly intimate setting for an incredibly intimate artist.




5. Motley Crue - June 18, 1990 - Skydome - Toronto, ON
   
   The Crue kicking ass on the Dr. Feelgood tour - sold-out dome, insane rock fans, 3 encores and a calculus exam the next morning! Priorities, right?

Just got back from a pretty sweet long weekend in Muskoka, but more on that later. To the task at hand, the Top 5 Tuesday listing. This one goes out to my boy Matty, who laughs with me every time as we repeat these ad nauseum whenever a few beers are involved. A touch crude, perhaps, but all in good fun eh? ;)

Top 5 "Pick-up Lines"

1. "It's not gonna suck itself!"


2. "Excuse me, you're standing on my penis."


3. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"


4. "Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"


5. "Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her the moment i fell in love."

And there we have it for this week. Matty, sorry i posted some of your faves first! I'm sure you have a few more in the vaults to post up. Give'er!

Good morning kids! Welcome to the second installment of Top 5 Tuesday. Today we ask the question, "What are your top 5 favourite movie quotes?" The movie's genre does not matter, although mine all seem to follow a comedic pattern. The quote may also stand alone from the movie - ie: they don't have to be quotes from your all-time fave movies, just damn good quotes! I use all of mine in daily conversation. So answer in your blog or comment here or both - just have fun!

1. "I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a girl he met in a restaurant who then turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist only to lose her to her childhood lover who she’d last seen on a deserted island and who turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French Underground." – Nick, Top Secret!


2. "A while back, Dick, Barry and I agreed that what really matters is WHAT you like, not what you ARE like. Books, records, films – these things matter! Call me shallow, it’s the fucking truth." – Rob, High Fidelity


3. "So we finish 18 and he's going to stiff me. So I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey. How about a little something, you know, for the effort?' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money. But when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I've got that going for me, which is nice." – Carl, Caddyshack


4. "That’s what I love about those high school girls, man. I keep getting older and they stay the saaaaame age." – Wooderson, Dazed and Confused


5. "New shit has come to light, man!" – The Dude, The Big Lebowski

As a tribute to one of my fave movies of all-time, High Fidelity, (book still to come), i am going to start posting into a new category - Top 5 Tuesdays. Feel free to take the list topic over to your own blog and answer it, or comment here, or both! Maybe i'll make a cool little GIF for next week's listing. I'm sure this has been done many times before, but hey, everyone loves a good list, right?

We'll start off with a good topic from the movie, filled in with my answers of course. These were so much harder to choose than i thought, so a few honourable mentions are allowable at the end. These are more than just good songs - they set the tone for an album with an energy or vibe that is unmatched, right from the drop of the needle (or pressing of "Play").

Top 5 Side 1s, Track 1s (for cds just track 1!)

1. Drum Trip/Ecstasy - Rusted Root (When I Woke)
2. Red Hot Mama - Funkadelic (Standing on the Verge of Getting It On)
3. Good to See You - Neil Young (Silver & Gold)
4. Pagan Baby - CCR (Pendulum)
5. Break on Through - The Doors (The Doors)

Honourable Mention: Baba O'Riley - The Who, Rock N' Roll Star - Oasis, Sure Shot - Beastie Boys, Suite: Judy Blue Eyes - CSN, Run Around - Blues Traveler.

In honour of this first entry, and of John Cusack in general, i also took the John Cusack quiz. The results, as you can see, are quite fitting.

Which John Cusack Are You?