I may have to craft a version of this article applicable to home use, but the general premise and attitude are captured quite sublimely here. Fix yourself a something on the rocks and enjoy.

How to Drink Alone - Esquire Magazine, June 2008

(You now know why this is my first post in about a year.)

Men Behaving Badly is most certainly coming out on DVD in February! As mentioned in the last top 5, i'm beyond stoked about this. Check into other TV show releases coming up and see what's already available on this fab site i came across - TV Shows on DVD. There's so much great shit available that i didn't even know about, and you can get a lot of it right from Amazon. Far out!

I'm sure the Bri Man has been to several of these locations, but as for myself, not even a one. Hopefully that will change someday, but for now i'll settle for having a say in what the new 7 wonders of the world will be. You'd think the Pyramids of Giza would be a shoe-in as a legacy pick, being the only remaining structures from the original listing. I'm still not sure what the Sydney Opera House is doing on the short list along side the likes of Machu Picchu, but i guess that's why there's a voting process eh? The new wonders are to be unveiled on the slicky chosen date of 07.07.07.

Hope you enjoyed the extra 2 days you have on me brother. Happy 34th you old sonuvabitch you. Hope to see you at the end of the year - make it happen baby! Can you drink the beer? I can drink the beer! Egészségedre!

Thanks to all for the comments and b-day wishes and beers. Had some good times last night with the first ever double shot of The D at the Brass - Karate AND Fuck Her Gently. I'm no Jack Black, but i'm sure it ruled in it's own strange and intoxicated way. Cheers to chilli, vag, party, killer's penis, greg and the captain for making it all happen.

The pressure of the pending 100th top 5 is getting to me. (Or i'm a lazy and uninspired bastard?) Please advise on any topics you'd like to see, and i'll try and bring it on home in style. Rock the fuck out. \m/

I woke up this morning to the disturbing news that Pluto has been stripped of it's planetary status. All of my public school knowledge and old science fair memorabilia has been dumped on it's ear. Is nothing sacred anymore??

Hey all wassup. We're having a BBQ at the new pad here this coming Sunday and would like to get a rough idea of who may be around. You are all invited, so just let me know by mid-week - here or by call - if you are around for the long weekend and would be interested. Rock!

Three friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition as unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him "A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."

Rooney and Hargreaves start for England today - could breathe some new life into the lads!

Donald Rumsfeld is giving President Bush his daily briefing. He concludes by saying, “Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.”

“Oh, No!” exclaims Bush. “That’s terrible.”

His staff sit stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, President Bush looks up and asks, “How many is a brazillion?”

Lou is putting out the word for a BBQ at his new pad on Saturday May 20 starting in the afternoon and on into the night. Any regulars here are welcome, says Lou, and more info, directions, etc. are to come. If you are interested drop a word on here so Lou and Jules can size it up. He might even debut his summer beer drinking anthology for maximum participation! I'm in, are you?

The top row of bottled beers in the fridge at the Carey's gig last night were, side by side, as follows: Pabst Blue Ribbon, OV (old vagina, or my former roommate), Crystal, 50 and Golden!! Now them's some old man beers!

I hope everyone is having a great Christmas so far. Our system is still fucked up, but i'm at my parents' place for a couple of days so i can at least post up. Special holiday shoutouts go to Killer Dave slugging it out over in Moscow and Wilby in Korea. My Budapest Christmas away from fam and friends was my hardest ever, so i'm sending the love out to these fine lads. Cheers boys.

For the locals, Chilli and myself will be imbibing down at the Brass Door on th 26th, along with what i hope to be a collection of friends and revelers. This will be followed by the airing of grievances and feats of strength. Happy Festivus everyone!

Killer, i'd love to police the shit, but my home system is doon again; had to quickly drop by the captain's to dive online for a minute! I'll be back on soon i hope........ love scotty.

bargain boyz down; scotty doon! i think a big greasy breakfast sandwich is on tap, as were many a beer last night. this is madness.

So, The Fairmonts have secured the New Year's Eve gig at The Poacher's Arms this year. Anybody looking for something to do, and who freakishly plans that shit this far ahead, mark your calendars!

The boyz night out in t.dot was a drunken good time. The old MIA crew, and founding members of the short lived but apparently ahead of our time (we would sound like Disturbed should we still be rockin' today?) Acid Tongue, plus the venerable Chokhalet Moose were set loose on the scene, and as always happens with those heads, we ended up drunk and busting old dance moves at the Velvet Underground. My fave Q & A of the night from that club, between the Moose and myself:

ME: "So do they have a coat check?"
MOOSE: "Yeah, it's at the back, but i usually just toss my coat behind that statue over there."

And so we did.

And now for all the restless souls who have nothing better to do than hound me about not posting on my shitty blog, i have a proposition. Would you let me have sex with your wife for $1,000,000? Wait, that was an old movie plot. I have another proposition. Since i'm lazy and don't have anything of relevance to post at this time, i propose a week of guest postings. Email me any shit you want to say, or a top 5, or a pile of bullshit, and if it's cool and the gang i'll put it up and y'all can talk shit directly about each other's posts instead of indirectly through comments on my shit. Sound good? If i get any emails today, i'll start it up for monday. If not, dormant she shall sit - "turn out the lights, it's gonna be a long week."

Top 5 doon, good rockin' tonite, boy's night out tomorrow, and it's snowin' like a mofo! Fuck, yeah! \m/

I have a top 5 coming tonight, but no time at the moment to git'er done. Damn real jobs! Catch you later.

An issue of increasing concern has finally been brought forth by the Supreme Metal Council in an attempt to rectify the situation. The issue at hand is the increasing use of the 'metal sign' in non-metal situations.

To quote Nikki Sixx, "This man here, who invokes the sign merely to indicate his joy that his microwave popcorn is done: He is not metal."

Please read Metal Council Convenes To Discuss 'Metal Hand Sign' Abuse for full details of this historic summit.

Special thanks to Chokhalet Moose for bringing this shit to light.

The results are in on the Durex 2005 Global Sex Survey, and to me some of the results seem pretty crazy! I'm fairly certain if Killer took the survey the results for Canada would be a little more weighted, but even so, we apparently still lead the way in the 'sex in front of a camera' category. Take a look for yourself, keep your stick on the ice, and happy fucking!

New Fairmonts stuff posted - downloads and poll - giv'er!

This is a cool little thing i found to track the high/low local gas prices as they fly all over the radar. With yet another massive hurricane set to hit oil-rich Texas tomorrow, i'm sure the high will go through the roof. Fill'er up!

PS - This next hurricane is named after Rosa's mom!

London, ON - Dave 'Westmount' Stevens will not be back visiting Canada in November, as originally scheduled. He has instead opted to visit Japan, where as he states, "the women are more beautiful." Citing the extreme expense of the return to his homeland for a mere week, Dave has now set his sights on the new year. We can only hope this to be true, as many outrageous jams and fresh beers await his return to the Great White North. Godspeed, Dave, godspeed.

Associated Press

I just got back from a fab 3.5 days in Muskoka with chilli and the lads (and other ladesses) and to top it off chilli has the whole week off as well. (Pics to come soon from Captain & the Rosa.) So i've decided to take the week off from blogging but will be back after labour day with a fresh top 5 next tuesday. In the meantime, please ponder and discuss the sheer awesomeness of this, however far-fetched it may be. Never question Bruce Dickenson!

I'm not sure how many, if any of you are going to follow the rock ride that is Rockstar: INXS, but if you are interested there is a fantasy-league type thing going on here at Rock Star Go Home! The fun part is you choose who is getting the boot, not who is sticking around. Some cash and prizes are available to the top 5 finalists. It's worth a shot - give me what i need!

For anyone, such as myself, that missed Live 8 live, AOL has a bunch of performances from London, Philly and Barrie playable here. They are searchable by band and then by song! Loved the Pink Floyd, some dmb and honourable mention to da Ladies closing with Million Dollars with Tears Are Not Enough outro!

Note: I had to use IE instead of Firefox to make all the plugins work. Bummer!

Update: Rome, Berlin & Paris have been added, along with the missing Neil Young!

While it has been suggested to me to post about the Live 8 concerts over the weekend, the fact is i didn't catch one single performance - yet. I was cottaging, sans cable, which was lovely. I'm assuming that a concert of this stature would warrant replaying at some point, even just a 'best of' segment compiled from all concerts. If anyone caught any of the rockin', especially Pink Floyd or Neil Young, please drop a quick comment and fill me (us) in! Keep on rockin' in the free world.

Superfriends meets Office Space - very well done - about 4 mins. long - a nice quick break if you're at work!

Good day friends. I'm sure some of you are familiar with my friend Slippery Pete, who is a regular commenter on this site. He has finally entered the world of blogging on his own, and as he is one of my only friends to actually have his own blog, he gets a posting here to mention it! Drop by Pete's Blog and show him some love.

Happy Birthday Chilli!

I happened to catch a bit of the MuchMusic Video Awards last night before crashing out and was less than impressed. I had been reading how so many international artists and celebs had been requesting to be on the guest list as well as on the performance or presenters list, and how each year it becomes more on par with the MTV awards.

This may one day occur, if we can finally get over ourselves! In watching just over half the show, i lost count of how many times the veejays were like, "So how do you like Canada?", "What do you think of our country, our fans, our food, our blah blah blah?" You never hear that crap on the MTV awards, except of course the requisite flag-waving during wartime and whatnot. Perhaps it's due to the fact that we still use the veejays as the hosts and alongside the famous presenters, or the fact that it just seems like a fan screamfest regardless of the artist, celeb or award being presented.

I did rather dig the Arcade Fire performance, and fell asleep before the Killers closed the show. Perhaps i can catch them during one of the 18 encore airings clogging up the regular programming this week. Anyone else catch this mess?

I have finally rid my weblog of all comment spams, hopefully for good. I went from over 10,000 comments down to 1200 actual comments, so needless to say there was a lot of crap in here. I had one slip in already, but as long as they aren't coming in by the 100's i can keep on top of the bastards. I also added a few more categories to make browsing past entries a bit easier. Happy blogging!

Ok kids, comments are back up for now as i test out the 'security code' method. Pretty simple, really. Just enter the 6-digit code displayed at the bottom of the comment area into the box below the code just before you submit your comment. This theoretically separates humans from spambots and i suppose only leaves me open to manual spamming, which i'm pretty sure is close to nil in weblog comments. We shall see... Anyone interested in trying this on their blog can check out the site where i got it from - James Seng's solution for comment spams.

My good friend and former associate Rich Adkin will be here in London at the end of this month to host his first Canadian photography exhibit downtown at Cafe One on Richmond St. Any locals be sure to head down and take a look at his amazing shots from the Rain in Portugal collection. The exhibition opens May 28 with Rich in attendance, and runs through August.

Man, it's been a while! I'm pretty sure everyone, including myself, had given up on this blog, due to several factors. Comment spam played a large part in my growing disinterest, but i am taking new measures against that and should have comments re-enabled by next week.

I am also putting the cowbell site online properly, as it was first intended, with 2 main sections; design and music. I will create these sites separately, with both being accessible from the homepage of this site. i gave up on the design a ways back when i gave up my steady job to persue music, which has slowed down a little of late, so the design site is going up to hopefully complement the music income. The music site will feature all bands past and present, with lots of music available for your listening pleasure.

More to come soon...

I used to think this was a load of bullshit, but on the 10th anniversary of Kurt's death, i have been cruising some sites and reading some valid evidence, questions and uncertainties that might lead you to question the alleged "suicide". These reasons why the case should be reopened will leave you scratching your head as to why it appeared so open and shut. There is loads of other info on the site, and links to other sites, theories, interviews, statements and documents that could lend support to such a theory. Read on for yourself and see what conclusion you reach.

I was just doing some quick searching on what sites link back to my sites (search on yoursite.com; on google - thanks Gee) and came across this dude that defintely has the right idea - and a great concept in the development stages. Until the full site is up, give a dig to Songs With Lots of Cowbell!

Best of the season to everyone, my condolences to those of you out there also working in a retail setting, fuck comment spammers - i'll fix that shit over the holidays i hope, catch some of you over the next several days for a drink and a laugh, and i'm playing New Year's Eve with Justin at Rockwater Brewing Co. here in London, for those of you still looking for something to do! All the best!

I'm not sure if this is making the full email rounds these days, as i normally delete my forwards, but coming from The Captain it begged to be read. Try this and get ready for a laugh - especially you politicos.

Go to Google.

Enter "Weapons of Mass Destruction".

Hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" Button.

Enjoy.

footnote: i had to try it twice before it worked.

Hey all wassup. Many apologies for my complete blog-sloth of late. Not too much to say or the particular motivation to say it. Hopefully i will have some decent news soon and a rejuvenated list of Top 5 topics at the ready. One thing i will say while i'm here though - it's all about good friends and rock and roll - don't let the man bring you down! More on that later.... cya soon. Scotty

Over. :(

As of 6pm this evening, i am officially on vacation for exactly 9 days. This is mucho cool! Nothing too crazy planned, other than a slew of regular stuff that gets passed over in the day to day routine of.... actually working. Lots of beers, golf, movies, pubs and clubs, our last gig before the summer, and a little road trip to see the boys in North Bay are all on tap. This move was necessary to just not be at work for a week, not so much that there was a specific event that i needed time off for. I'll take another week later in the summer and go somewhere with that one. I'll still try and pop in for the Top 5 this week, but if it slips by, at least you'll know why! Enjoy the weekend everyone.

I'm still not sure on how the landslide vote came about to give slacker girl the million dollars, but i'm sure everyone's reasoning will surface soon enough. Neither of them were playing "the game" from the beginning, but at least Matt was fishin' and choppin' until he got his head into the game and not just tanning. I'll give her credit for pulling her shit together and taking the last 2 immunity challenges but that's all i'll concede her. I'll have to agree with Jeff Probst and say that Rob was the best player to never win, and look forward to him back on a Champion's League Survivor if and when that comes together. All in all a pretty tame last vote, with nothing really scathing coming up since they hadn't really screwed anyone over! That, and Alex seems to be quite a dick and actually the most bitter of all the castoffs. Bring on Survivor Panama!

PS - I lost out on my main Survivor pool since i had Butch, but surprisingly won the final four pool by pulling Jenna's name and getting initially laughed at! Crazy game, man, crazy game.

It was approximately 1 year ago that i returned from my life in Budapest. It seems like a year ago and it seems like yesterday. It's a weird thing, looking back on it, to try and remember why you left when at the time leaving was the only thing on your mind. I think it's like that with all journeys. Eventually, most of the badness fades away and you are left with the memories of the good times, friends and experiences. That's the way it should be i suppose. Who wants to sit around and reflect back on shitty times!

The four of us that started that adventure a couple of summers ago are now in completely different places. Here is a sampling of the crazy lives that four buds chilling in Budapest only a year ago now experience:

Killer Dave: "Greetings from Kuwait City! This place would be mecca if it had chicks! Its got every fast food and american restaurant chain you could ask for. Booze is illegal, but i can get it, so its just the chicks that are lacking! Yes i left the chick mecca of the world to pursue new wild and crazy adventures! GO LEAFS GO! They did beat the flyers right?HA HA HA. Kuwait actually has 2 skating rinks, one of which sustains a hockey league. The sultans like to skate it up! Scotty, can i be your middle east correspondent? Well, i gotta go feed my camel. Lates!"

Wilbo: "status quo here (South Korea), still working my balls off and going down the list of my creditors. gotta couple of girlfriends which helps to pass the lonely nights. Jude is coming in a week and then we are heading to Thailand for 17 days, should be a total blast. I'll be on the hunt for some peyote for sure. miss your fine ass."

JB: (JB's still in Budapest) "Scotty, long time no speak. I have some bad news. One of the last great old-school homemade websites has bitten the dust. Apparently you can no longer "bathe with Jesus". The Christians have mobilized and scooped the domain. In that light I have some great replacements - www.engrish.com and the classic www.jumptheshark.com. Both harken back to the days of eggs, mister noodle, and the flatbed toilets on Krudy. I also think that since spring is upon us and a young man's fancy usually turns to x-rated pursuits (especially here in BP!) that that old classic "The Hot Karl" needs to be dusted off an shared with a new generation. (It's coming, kids.) Easy does it my Canuckastani brothers and sisters."

Me: "Monday, April 7, 2003. Wake up to the radio weather forecast of -4 and potentially 20 more cm of snow accompanied by strong winds. Fan-fucking-tastic. WHAT THE FUCK???"

As you can see, we are all doing well (although from above it appears i got the short end of the stick ;) and living thousands of miles apart when we once shared a four bedroom flat in the heart of Budapest, Hungary only a year ago. To the boys - godspeed, all the best and keep your stick on the ice.

Apologies on absent Top 5 - will rectify soon... damn playoffs!

Talk amongst yourselves and discuss the 3 GAME 7's that will take place Tuesday night. I'm calling Canucks, Avs and Philly in OT. Anyone else?

Top 5 to be posted this eve.... damn day shift! The Top 5 suffers when you're working for the man. ;) Any suggestions for today? I'm thinking a shift from the norm over to the sporting realm, Mike Weir and all; ya know?

Man o man, another sweet moment to go down in Canadian sports history - Mike Weir, putting like a possessed man, grabbing The Masters Green Jacket out of the clutches of Len Mattiace on the first playoff hole to bring Canada it's first-ever Major golf victory. Congrats Mike - you've done us all proud!!

Gotta be brief here, so GO ISLES GO!!!

Wake up to the radio weather forecast of -4 and potentially 20 more cm of snow accompanied by strong winds. Fan-fucking-tastic. WHAT THE FUCK???

...to see that Mandy is out of this Survivor pool! I must admit, i was sad to see Dave go; he was the "Colby" of this cast, but didn't last quite that long! He'll be cool on the jury though, and feed the schemers their just desserts in due time. Butch is still flying under the radar and has what i think to be a good shot at the final four. Stay tuned kids, there's more backstabbing and treachery to come!

On a spur of the moment deal, Steve-O and I just grabbed 2 tix to see Neil Young and Crazy Horse at the ACC! It's on the Monday at the beginning of the week that will see 2 Pearl Jam shows at the end of that week, and closing off with the Ben/Jack show the following Monday. I guess i know where my vacation time has to be booked!

I just picked up 3 DMB tix for the Toronto show in September. They are 400s, row E, so closer to the front of the section and i'm happy to just be sitting - my "no lawns" policy for the summer is still in effect! Dave does indeed sell out fast. Brian - one ticket has your name on it - i have you covered bro! Mandy also has 4 tix in the 400s, so we're all good to go. Now to wait until September for the damn show!

Scored some Ben Harper - Jack Johnson tix for the Toronto show at the Amphitheatre on June 30th. Pretty stoked about this as it should be a great show - i've seen Ben twice and he's fantastic live. His new album is also high on my current rotation. Looking forward to seeing Jack live for the first time, and he'll also have a new album out by then which should be sweet. You can sample some new music from Jack's website. Here's to summer concerts!

Please excuse Scott from the Top 5 and other blogging chores for a day or two as he is one again fucking sick and he's damn upset about his second illness of the season. It gives him headaches to stare at the monitor. :(

Juan's Mother

So i was online at the crack of 10 this morning trying to score some PJ tickets for the Toronto show in June. I knew they wouldn't stick around long but still had hopes of half decent seats. I'm working the refresh button at a feverish pace until the sale comes online, and then i'm off.

10am-10:07am - Ticketmaster servers are too busy; not even getting a request through.

10:08am - 3 lawn seats show up as available - back in the lawns already within 8 minutes - shit! I decline the lawns and jump back into it, hoping for better.

10:18am - Nothing has shown up since the lawns; am kicking self as show is probably sold out.

10:19am - A single 400 level seat shows up - i take it.

10:20am - A single 300 level seat shows up - i take it.

So i have 2 seats, however separated, to see Pearl Jam in June and i'm pretty stoked, since i have yet to see them live. The way i figure it is that whoever ends up going with me (and will obviously have the 400 as i will have the 300 :) won't care since there's always the trip up, the parking lot scene and the after drive and/or scene in which to share in. And at the end of the day, you're at the show so who cares who you're standing beside when you are rocking out. My buddy Steve scored 4 in a row in the 400s, which is also cool. Now to keep an eye out for the DMB onsale for the September show!

The Survivor ladies are all over the place. The deaf girl is doing work, then changing her mind to go do something else when others finally pitch in. The swimsuit model is laying around modelling her dirty amazon clothes, and the older woman is sneaking in granola bars (shades of Kel, Paula!). They couldn't catch fish even with bait, are scared of the immunity idol and their voting was all over the map at tribal council. Meanwhile the dudes are living in the Amazon Hilton and can cook their cornbread stuff with surprisingly decent results. Go dudes go!

The picks are all in as well. Butch, Rob, Dave, Heidi and Shawna have each been selected in our pool. None of them really shone last night but they are all still around so that's all good!

So my one and only reality tv show is back in action for a sixth time, with the guys vs. gals tribes in full swing. I'm not sure what's going to be worse, the macho competition between the guys or the bitchiness that i can see already coming between the gals. But as long as they're in bikinis.... ;) The guys did assemble a pretty bitchin' shelter though, which should pay off in the long run. After brief discussion tomorrow amongst the participants i will update with my pool prediction for final survivor. Anybody else with an early call on this?

UPDATE: Ok, my call goes to Butch, the principal, in my Survivor pool. There's always an older guy that makes it to the end, and he seems to be liked and not as threatening to the youngsters as Roger and his commanding ways. Principals also deal with many people and their situations every day, so i'm thinking this will come in handy. Mandy has chosen Dave, the rocket scientist. He was also on my short list, but Mandy spoke up first so he's all hers! Janelle, surprisingly, is still on the fence, but claims she will be selecting a female participant, perhaps Joanna for her gospel, or Heidi for her boobs. We shall see.

I didn't get a top 5 together today, for no lack of a better reason than pure post-work lethargy. I'll try and get a solid one back in rotation for next week, as my goal is to hit at least 30 top 5's, so i can post a top 5 XXX. That will make for a fitting closer i think. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves, or curse me out for making this Tuesday in blogland just a tad less cool. :)

I watched VH1 Fanclub the other night, and the band being worshipped was the Dave Matthews Band. I love DMB, and would definitely consider myself a fan, and with spare time and money on my hands would for sure travel around and take in many shows on a particular tour, as i've only been to one Dave show so far. There was this one guy on the show that worked for an airline, and took fandom to new heights as far as i'm concerned. He flys for free of course, and 2 days before the Rock in Rio concert he and a friend decided they should go. They live in Atlanta, and had to fly to Miami to apply for their visas, fly back to Atlanta to work that night, fly back to Miami the next day to pick up the visas, fly back to Miami to catch their flight to Rio, and then fly to the show for which they had no tickets, only to meet a guy, in first class of course, that was also flying down for the show and just happened to have spare tickets! So, that's 5 flights total over a 2 day period to head to a concert in another country that they weren't even sure they would be able to track down tickets for. In my opinion, that sets the new bar on the term "fanatic".

Anybody else out there have crazy fan stories that would approach this status? My best but not even close to this guy was piling 3 guys plus camping gear, coolers and a stereo into my old Supra (read: small!) and driving 14+ hours from here to Maine and back within a 3 day period to see Phish for the weekend (2 years in a row actually). A close second would be cashing in my only life insurance policy to buy Dead tickets for a couple of shows for me and a friend and then hitting the road dead broke in my way old Buick Regal. Wouldn't trade those experiences for the world!

Top 5 comin' your way after work today, folks - wasn't quite on the ball late last eve. Stay tuned...

I ended my self-imposed "dry January" this weekend. It was about an hour or so early as i was out on Friday night, but i had proved to myself that i could do it so i wasn't going to call myself on the technicality. So I went to see Justin playing his solo stuff - some great renditions of DMB, Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, Neil, Bob, Jeff Buckley, and other singer slash songwriters of note. I ended up having about a maximum of 5 beers and was just wrecked! I slept till noon on Saturday, got up, and had a nap before i had to go play! My tolerance is completely shot and it's making me feel like shit! It's like in A Clockwork Orange - being conditioned to feel shitty when drinking anything. I don't like it! I was talking to Justin before our show last night and I told him I forgot to request Yellow Ledbedder by Pearl Jam (he hates PJ but digs that song) and he told me that i had requested it, he had played it, and i enjoyed it! Well at least i enjoyed it. Sad it had already slipped my mind. Then early this morning i wake up with crazy stomach pains and then get the shits for like an hour, and i had two fucking beers last night! This is a sad state of affairs that i must find a solution for pronto. Switch to rye? Blow some weed? Become a wino? What to do??

Super Bore XXXVII was just that as the Raiders took to heart the no fly zone that was placed on the game and left their offence back in Oakland. Although slightly interesting near the end with a moderate comeback attempt, the Bucs D capped'er with the big INT for a TD. I think Gannon completed more passes to the Bucs than to his guys. It all just goes to prove the old saying - offence wins games, defence wins championships. Did anybody see Warren Sapp on the Jimmy Kimmel show waaay after the game? Not so funny, except for the fact they were drinking liberally from a cold bottle of Voddy. I'll place a bet that viewership drops by 75% for his next show tonight! And that caps another season - Pro Bowl anyone?

I'm pretty sure i've railed on this subject before, but yesterday just drove the fact home once again. We have a self-serve photocopier outside of our storefront. It's old, and it's backwards from most machines; you have to place an 8.5x11 sheet vertically on the right side of the glass centered top to bottom, and you have to place a legal sheet horizontally across the glass, again centered top to bottom. We have a little diagram illustrating exactly this, and my boss has gone as far as "idiot proofing" the machine by placing a cardboard outline over the area of the glass that you shouldn't be using, so the only glass showing is a fat looking sideways T shape to allow for both sizes of paper.

We have had more people fucking up copies since this has happened than before! People get so mad at us that they are idiots and can't read or figure out the copier, and some even attempt to remove the cardboard so they can place their copy in the worst position possible to make a copy. Then they come up to the counter with half-copies, which they fucked up by not reading the instructions, ignoring the stenciled area and not selecting the proper paper size, and say "i had ten good ones and these 3 are bad." Because you're an idiot! It's a damn photocopier! I take a sick pleasure in directing people to the diagram area that is so obvious a blind grandmother should be able to make a copy, and i enjoy making them feel like fools. Is this wrong, 'cause it feels oh-so right! We are actually at the point of removing legal size copies from that machine, so that the only area of glass showing will be one 8.5x11 rectangular area on the right hand side of the glass centered top to bottom. Period. Then only half of the users will be fucking up their copies instead of most of them.

Open your eyes people - copier instructions aren't the only things you are missing - i'm sure of it.

I'd heard this quote a while back, and of course i can't remember which Seinfeld it may have been from (bonus points to anyone who can!), and it just got emailed to me again yesterday. I feel it deserves posting for the exacting sentiment it expresses, and how everyone that reads it goes, "Fuck yeah!". He is Costanza, Lord of the Idiots. Worship at his feet.

What a crazy weekend of NFL playoff action. Saturday's games were both shocking blowouts, while Sunday's games started as blowouts only to have the home teams stage monstrous comebacks in the second half and squeeze out victories. Great football to watch! Hats of to Jeff Garcia of the 49ers, a former CFL all-star with the Stampeders, who orchestrated the second biggest second half comeback in NFL history apparently! I love seeing the CFL guys head south and tear it up, a la Warren Moon, Flutie, Vanderjagt, etc.

Bummer about the Canadian Junior team, who once again earned a silver medal to Russia's gold. We were one defensive lapse away from a gold! Looking forward to seeing some of the guys up in the NHL playing some of the spirited hockey they displayed here - good work guys!

Today is probably my last full time shift for a month or so as my boss will be back from holidays next week and with the xmas rush now over a semblance of normalcy will return to both the store and my schedule. This will hopefully allow me some more time at home to concentrate on getting my personal design work back up and running with new cowbell sites for both personal and business uses and hopefully scaring up some new clients after that. Some drumming is also in the works with both original and cover projects on the horizon. As the extended xmas/new year's holidays (for some) wind to a close i just want to say wassup to some of the boys i ran into over the holidays that aren't always around.

Mitsy - Great to see you as always buddy. "When i think about you, i touch myself..." Keep on rockin' in the free world, all the best with the law gig and perhaps a reunion in Toronto may be down the road. I'm just standing here goin' like this...

Killer Dave - My boy from Budapest was back for a good time, not a long time. Great to see you back on home turf as well man; our new year's streak continues. Best of luck with the new job over there and once you're making the big bucks get back here for Pearl Jam tour!

Big Finger - Missed you over the holidays bro! When you comin' back down to Londontown man? WBC forever!!

On another note, i received this link in my email from some fellow cowbellsmen. White Cowbell Oklahoma kick up some greasy, southern-fried, shot-o-whisky from between some bigass titties boogie rock that sounds like a rompin' good time. And i think they're from Toronto?! Dig it!

Hey guys and gals wassup. My first post-xmas blog entry and i can't say as i've been missing making the entries, although i feel a bit out of the loop with all of you! Thanks for keeping it up - i still hit all the blogs (you know who you are) to see wassup with all of you.

Christmas was great up in Toronto with the fam - a far cry from last year when i was flying solo in Budapest smoking pot and watching Interview With A Vampire on Christmas day with Wilby - no other friends, family, tree, gifts, snow, etc. I think i appreciated it that much more this year.

I just went out and purchased the last dvd player in Future Shop!! I've needed one for a while now and since i received some dvds for xmas i thought i should get something to play them on! I'm fully addicted to the extra features now, and the best one so far is the Almost Famous Bootleg Cut. A great movie expanded by 45 minutes! Not to mention a Stillwater CD, some full concert footage and some other great extras. I'll have to get around to reading Cameron Crowe's Rolling Stone articles from back in the day, which are also on there. Reading text from the tv is not my ideal reading setting, but i'll make the exception for something that cool.

Work has finally slowed down (worked until 4:50 pm on xmas eve, then ran to the beer store to grab my xmas beer just as they were tilling out) and the pay cheque that i just picked up made it worthwhile, and softened the Future Shop trip damage a bit. Back in action again on Monday, with a nice mid-week break coming up with the Jan. 1st holiday. Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying some time off, family and friends and all that good stuff.

Shit on a stick and stay there, i never thought i'd see the day where i'd be working 15 hour days in a pseudo-retail environment, but yesterday was that day, shining forth in all it's wretched ugliness. As Matty and i like to say, "There are no jobs anywhere in this town, man, unless you want to work 40 hours a week!" 12 hours of production mixed with serving snotty last minute shoppers, and 3 hours of after-hours production with 3 other loopy guys that were losing their minds as quickly or faster than i was. When i say production i'm referring to the "cheese quotient" of my job, which includes creating a host of photo transfer products from mugs to mouse pads to tee shirts. If i never see another baby or dog again it will be too soon. The cool part of my job, which includes graphic design, layouts, photo restorations, etc. is temporarily put on hold as customers search for the perfect gift for Great Grandma Tilly, which is usually a XXXXL sweatshirt with their snot-nosed great grandkids on the front and "We love you Bubby" in the classic "first grader" font scribbled across the top.

The plus side includes making truckloads of cash for the store, which keeps the big guy happy, which keeps us happy, and keeps the overtime hours flowing in. Christmas won't start for me until 5:01 p.m. on Dec. 24th when i leave the store and drive 2 hours up the highway to Toronto to meet up with the rest of the fam. That will be sweetness, along with the following 4 days as, miracle of all miracles, our store is closed on Boxing Day and we can actually enjoy some semblance of a Christmas. Having said all that, Happy Holidays everyone, all the best for the season and the new year (can you tell i might be running short on pre-Christmas blogging time?), may you give more than you receive and enjoy those tasty holiday beverages without shame - just stay put and don't barrel around in your car afterwards! Cabs are expensive yet sensible, as i've been finding out lately. A big holiday "Give'er!" to all, and to all a good night.

Just so everyone is aware if you aren't already, Phish is playing on Saturday Night Live this evening. So set your VCRs or watch it live, or both - should be sweetness!

Sing Beastie Boys' "Mark on the Bus" to yourself in your head while reading this short posting.

I have been riding the loser cruiser a lot this week, and have been noticing a lot of trends from the "lifer" riders that are both interesting and disturbing, but more on that later. Today some dude had a calculus text open and was on his cell phone actually studying and/or doing math homework over the phone, on the bus. And all this time i've just been sitting there dreaming about the car i should be driving at that very moment. Go figure.

Also just noticed that "The Donger" from Sixteen Candles is on ER. I never watch ER, and don't think i've seen Long Duck Dong in anything, save for Gung Ho, in like 15 years. Can anyone set me straight on this? Is The Donger a regular ER cast member, and has he done anything at all in the last 15 years?

The Bills lost, putting the playoffs in serious jeopardy. The Raps lost, which isn't really that big of a surprise. I worked this weekend, covering for a guy who was doing his family Christmas thing. I overheard a mall mom threatening her kids with something along the lines of "If you don't shut up right now i'll go back down the hall to Santa and tell him to skip our house!" And of course the kids are like "No, mommy no!" What a lame mom, with sucker-kids to buy into "the big con". How wrong is that? Of course how wrong is it to have kids! Kidding, just not right yet, ok?

The Bills are back, and this time it's personal. It's always a wild affair when the Dolphins are involved, and this week was no exception. With the Bills playoff status riding on a must-win, the boys sucked it up and dished out a little snow-ball style to the Fish.

A solid win indeed, and i'm now stoked to go play my first gig in a while this evening. Skinny Pete, Dan and myself will be laying down some acoustic stylings with two guitars, two voices and a mighty djembe drum, which will be pounded by yours truly. Wish us luck, and happy December!

We'd all like to know what the hell happened to your dead cat - please elaborate. Also, no worries on missing out on last Friday - circumstances prevail.

All i have to say is... fuck! I can't believe those sorry fucks voted my boy Ken out! Who deserves to win it now? I'm gonna have to make the call for Jake to take it, Rudy style, into the final four, and then win out with immunity to take the call from a jury on which nobody had a reason to dislike him. Of course that will change next week when he gets voted off... bastards. And isn't that new immunity necklace the ugliest piece of piss you've ever seen? It's like a bunch of clothespins attached around your neck. Silliness.

Have a good weekend everyone. I'm off to Toronto with the lads for my big three-oh. God help us all. Cheers with beers.

While i'm not really a big fan of Eminem whatsoever, although there were a few tracks off his second album that i dug, i can't get his new single from the movie 8 Mile out of my head! It's actually got some great rhyming in it and a hypnotic guitar riff, along with a positive message to the song! What is going on with that? Don't think i'll actually make it out to the movie, but that song, that damn song....

I'm not sure about the rest of you, but the search engine i use about 95% of the time is Google. I came across some cool extras that Google offers as both informational and fun. The first, Google Zeitgeist, lists the top increasing and declining searches for several different categories, as well as useful overall user stats such as browsers, operating systems and languages used to access Google - great stuff to keep an eye on when you are designing sites. The second one is a fun little app called Googlefight. You can basically enter 2 opposing search phrases and see which one has been searched out more often, and by how much. The fight of the month has Hell topping Paradise by about 2:1. Go figure that one. The fight i waged was a battle of the old school Seattle bands with new albums out, and Nirvana took down Pearl Jam by about 270,000 searches. Try it out; impress your friends with useless stats!

This is the one thing my boss says separates the men from the boys - accountability. And he's right. We have a self-serve photocopier out front of our storefront and it boggles the mind that a) even with specific directions clearly listed for paper placement and functionality that people mess up their own copies all day long, and b) when they do so, it is somehow the machine's fault, or worse, our fault (!), even though it specifically states that the customer is responsible for all copies made. If you can't or don't bother to read the posted directions and disclaimers, clearly printed in the English language, how does that still make us responsible for your stupidity and resulting mistakes? If i had a dollar for every time i hear "Do i have to pay for this one, it didn't turn out", or "I have 6 good copies and these 3 are garbage", I could retire at this very moment. We have to pay for every copy made from that machine, so it's either us or your dumb ass. Free copies for the next guy that comes up to me and says "I made seven copies - six good ones and one mistake." Accountability, people.

What is essentially wrong with guys that feel that a night of drinking isn't complete without starting a fight or brawl? I went out with my buddy Pete last night after watching the Leafs game to check a cool band, Grand Theft Bus, lay down the jams at the Bacchus Lounge. They played a great first set, mixing good songs and harmonies with great jams. The atmosphere was beautiful, with all the kind music fans there for a good time and good tunes. We decided to mix it up a bit and check out another bar, GTs, where my friend Metal Chris djs on Saturday night. I have long had a love/hate relationship with GTs. There is a basement bar where cover bands play, which is a good location to just chill out with a jug of beer and watch a band. Chris djs upstairs on the dance half, which is usually jammed beyond capacity with the university/college crowd. I always chill out up in the dj booth with Chris to avoid the shoulder to shoulder crowd. Towards the end of the night, as often happens, a minor scuffle breaks out on the dance floor that is quickly broken up by the bouncers. No big deal, as you are bouncing around down there in tight quarters and drunken tempers and egos are bound to flare up, however irrationally. Pete has left at this point to go get some after-hours eats at the Alibi. Being that the clocks went back last night there was an extra hour of drinking available as the bars stayed open until 3.

I say later to Chris and set off walking down Richmond street to where my car is parked back by Pete's apartment - roughly a 15 minute walk. As i come out of the back door and around onto the main drag of Richmond St., i notice a huge brawl breaking out in front of the bar. I have no idea if it involved the earlier participants from inside or not, but i cross the street to avoid the crowd as i have no interest in watching fights because they sicken me. I keep walking at a rapid pace down Richmond since it is a bit chilly out and i want to get to the car quickly. The streets are packed with drunk students, as usual, and i'm weaving my way around them as required as i walk. I am approaching a group of 4 guys in front of me who seem harmless enough, and one of them bends down to "tie his shoe" in front of me as i go around them and carry on. Now they are walking behind me and i hear them start shouting out various taunts that i imagine might get a reaction out of a few drunken mongaloids, but i ignore them and keep walking, a little more briskly. The shouts keep coming and it's obvious that these losers are attempting to pick a fight on their way home since i imagine they struck out with the ladies and were looking to validate their masculinity. You're really proving yourself too by trying to start a 4 on 1 - that's pretty toughguy of them eh? They are coming up a bit more quickly behind me but as i haven't reacted to any taunts yet nothing has actually happened. I finally cross Richmond over to the other side and go hang out around some late-night buskers and the drunks don't bother to pursue me and carry on down the opposite side of the street. I hang with the busker and his crowd for a few minutes then carry on to the car and finally head home.

What possesses a drunk male to want to commit random acts of violence against complete strangers just because they've had a bunch of beers and it's 3AM? I highly doubt these same individuals would act in remotely the same manner if they were walking down the street sober at 3 in the afternoon. They might even be the same guys that would give you a nod as you walked past them on the street. This whole practice sickens me to no end. Who wants to leave a bar at the end of the night and have to worry about what idiots might be waiting for them outside the bar to start a brawl, or to follow you down the street looking to start shit for no reason? And who would have the energy at that time of night after drinking?! I know if i've had a couple too many, which wasn't the case last night, but if i have the last thing on my mind would be scrapping. It would be one of 3 things: food, sex or sleep.

I wonder what characteristics a city or town has that would make it more prone to these actions than others. Universities and colleges for sure, which tend to equate with more bars and pubs to accomodate the students, but what else would factor in? Location for sure. I've heard many stories from northern towns where it's totally common to go out on the weekend and drink and fight, simply because there's nothing else to do. I don't believe that to be the case here in London, but it's fairly common to see this downtown and i don't really know why. Maybe i'm just getting a little too old for the "scene", but if i feel like going downtown to meet some friends for a beer i'm going to do it and don't want to have to worry about any bullshit that may be associated with that. I would be curious to hear about any other cities and towns where this may or may not be commonplace. Feel free to add your 2 cents in the comments. If you're still with me, thanks for reading what i think is my longest blog ramble thus far.

While most parents think that Lego, one of the all-time favourite pasttimes of children everywhere, has no expiry date, Lego, can in fact, go bad. Click here to find out what happens when Lego goes bad.

I haven't been blogging as much lately due to out-of-house shifts at work and a couple of jobs i'm finishing up over the next few days. That and the fact that i haven't really had anything interesting to say that wouldn't bore you all to tears. I'll probably take a mini-blog vacation over the weekend and be back in action next Tuesday for the weekly Top 5. Until then, a couple of random musings...

Riding the bus is as boring as watching paint dry, or curling. More on bus riding in a future post.

I am enjoying the small things lately, like buying new strings for my acoustic guitar, or renting 3 movies over a weekend instead of one. Must be the abundance of extra cash due to the shifts at the imaging centre. Right.

I was pretty bummed about the Survivor results from last night. Just as Robb finally came around to winning me over by basically giving up the punkass routine, he gets his ass voted out! I didn't see ShiiAnn in there catching all those balls in her basket. She gotsta go!

I don't have any Hallowe'en party plans for over the weekend, although my standby failsafe last-minute costume is always a pretty killer Hunter Thompson. Jesus Christ man! Did you see the size of those things! Poor bastard never stood a chance.

Enjoy the weekend everyone, and happy costuming!

Thanks to Mandy, i have been exposed to this enlightening site that pays tribute to those cute paintings and crayon drawings that kids do for their parents to display proudly on their fridges. And when you finally realize that they truly are amateur pieces of crap, this man will gladly step up to fill the void.

I am better than your kids.

More crappy children's artwork.

As Halloween approaches several events start to shape up. From getting a costume together for that raging kegger to picking up some candy for the kids (or dogs!) to selecting a pumpkin worthy of carving out, it's all part and parcel for the season. Admittedly, my favourite part is the pumpkin carving, as i like to mix it up a little bit to keep it off the traditional path. The 2 staples to my carving ritual that always keep the kids coming back for more are the flashing lights that i still have from an old Darth Vader lamp that i place inside the jack o lantern and one of my grandma's old wigs. Kids love a jack o lantern in a wig. I've had my share of decent carvings, from a drunk hobo to a pig to Gene Simmons, but this carving suggestion had me laughing heartily. Perhaps it struck a little too close to home?

Just a quick Survivor update - Paula don't read if you're on here before 8 on the west coast! A bit boring i must say after the "hype" last week of the tribal swap and the classic food auction which was pretty funny but a bit lacking in excitement. The fish swap thing was a bit stale as well, but was really funny when dumbass Ted lost the boat due to his shoddy boatsmanship. He probably drowns next week looking for it and Helen has to go save his sorry ass. Bummer that Stephanie got voted off as she was one of my picks to win. Go Ken go.

Oh ya, and here are some hardcore stick figure animations.

Hey Pauls. The "big" concert announcement for The John was only G n' R. Fuck! Like it couldn't have been The Other Ones this fall or something. And the cheapest seat is $59! I wouldn't pay 59 cents to see the new shitty lineup. So we wait for bigger and better concert announcements (that aren't Cher) for our beloved new arena. The Our Lady Peace show was pretty cool though, and meeting the band and the free tickets didn't hurt either!

I had my first ineedmorecowbell email address request yesterday. Dave A is the proud owner of david@ineedmorecowbell.com. Dave also loves the cowbell sketch, as do i. As i've said before, when i get off my ass and expand my site past a homepage and a blog there will be many more cowbell-related features, including "cowbell track of the week", and some more info on the sketch. Fun for the whole family. I would like to post a small RealVideo clip of the sketch, but i think even that would top out my bandwidth, since most of the search requests i get are for that sketch. Although, the ikea lamp commercial has bolted up the charts to third place on the search terms list. You are crazy! Eetz only a commercial! I'm thinking of posting the sketch for maybe a week or so for those of you that don't yet know what the fuss is all aboot.

Ghandia's gone! Thank god, Survivor's tolerable again! My money on Ken the cop is still looking solid as a rock. Who's gone next? I say Chuay Ghan goes down yet again and Jan the fence-sitting hag is gone.

It's Sunday, which is good for some football action and this weekend also the Ryder Cup, but this particular Sunday is prelude to a potentially chaotic week. My sister is getting married next weekend, and my mom is in the thick of finalizing all plans and arrangements, and i am pulling together the seating chart into a cool poster format with a nice autumn pic as a backdrop and the table groupings placed over top of that. But apparently a family squabble has broken out up in Ottawa and family guests are dropping off the list like flies. I have no idea what has happened as my mom just got the word down from her mom up in Ottawa, but there is potential that an entire table of 10-12 guests may back out! This is most unfortunate for my sister as she has nothing to do with the problem up there but will i'm sure be disappointed if several of the guests that may not show up don't, in fact, show up. Not to mention that throws my seating chart poster into disarray less than a week before the wedding! Crazy family, i tell ya. On top of this i start a new-old job this week at an imaging store in a mall. I've worked for the store before a few years ago and it was not a bad job, save for the retail aspect. The boss liked me and said he would take me back anytime, which he has. So as you can see this posting is appropriately titled.

On an unrelated note, when i was channel surfing last night i caught a few minutes of "the best" of the MTV video awards again. Seeing as most of the show actually sucked, it reminded me of a few short years ago when they weren't so bad, particularily the 1999 MTV movie awards. This is the show where Jim Carrey showed up dressed as a Morrison-esque 60's throwback, and nobody knew who he was until he got up to accept an award for Truman Show. I have posted the clip online for anyone that needs a good laugh heading into their upcoming crazy week. A testament to the true comic genius that is Jim. "Would it kill ya to play a little Foghat!" Right on, brother.

So Survivor was ok last night, with a fairly predictable voting-off of sick girl Tanya. As annoying as Helen may be i don't think they are stupid enough to vote off a Navy swim instructor just yet. Next week is looking sweet, with the much-hyped fight occuring, and the reward challenge prize is some survival instruction from 2 Red Berets. Cool. Also entered a Survivor pool yesterday - picked Ken the cop and Stephanie the firewoman (also a great Cult song.) Not sure about Stephanie after last night, but Ken's still looking like a solid choice.

My pick to get booted next week is once again Ghandia, and will be so until her lame ass gets voted out!

A couple of amusing sites to check out as you unwind at the end of the week: Extreme Ironing - "the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well pressed shirt" (noted at Rugged Cow) and Make Your Own Bush Speech (noted in a few places).

Also, see yesterday's posting for an update about the Ikea lamp in question.

How many of you really felt bad for the Ikea lamp?

(thanks to Catherine's blog for reminding me to post this. [she felt bad.])

UPDATE: The lamp commercial, directed by Spike Jonze, can currently be seen online at unboring.com. Click the TV set to view the commercial.

Just to warn you up front that this post could become drastically incoherent at any point. I am about to more than likely talk myself into a circle with the intention of gaining just a little perspective and direction. I am having trouble concentrating on tasks lately. Life, really. Ever since i got back from europe i have been focusing on freelancing with a strong aversion to going to work for "the man". This started out all well and good, but has drawn to a slow trickle, bordering on a halt. I'll be the first to admit i'm not the greatest salesman or people person in world, and if i had a sales sidekick passing off work to me i'd be golden. But i don't. Ideally i'd like to be generating some income from music as well, which leads to the relocation question. Do i have to move to a larger centre of action to be able to pull that off professionally? I'm currently thinking Toronto, or Ottawa, which is a city i really like and have family there, as well as some old friends shortly. Will this solve my problem or just move it down the 401? I won't be saving money on rent in these cities that's for sure, but is it worth that in exchange for greater opportunities, both musical and design?

Then there's the question of getting some cash together for a move, which brings me to my next point - getting some work from the man. I have had an offer to go back part-time for now to a former place of work; a unique combination of stuff i like to do, design, in a retail setting, a mall. It's an imaging store that also does copies, laser prints, poster printing, etc. The wage isn't the greatest but it is money that i don't currently have so do i suck it up and take it or keep thinking i'll be able to make more money on the next design job i might not even get? Also as a side note when i left that job the last time, on good terms, i said i wouldn't go back, due to the retail factor, not the work itself. Yet here it stands again before me. I'm thinking i suck it up, take it, attempt some design work after hours, and save up for a move in the near future. But will i get all comfy here again after some cash flow and remain in the cheaper place to exist? I can still drum here, sure, but there aren't really many studios that have a high demand for session players here. There are some clubs and some bands to jam with. Christmas is coming though, so hours will pick up, and so will the annoying people i hate the most, the mall shoppers (just people, really). Sure i can put your dad on a beach with Pierre Trudeau and slap it on the front of a t-shirt for you, do you need a website done for you as well per chance? Didn't think so, well, enjoy your shirt anyway. But money for cds, books, rent and beer is a good thing right? Regardless of what i have to endure to get it? Hold out or quick fix? I'm thinking quick fix at this point. Just take some heavy meds before work eh? It will be alright. I gotta get out of this basement. And get a car. If anyone lives in a great city that has available design work, culture, and a music scene feel free to drop me a suggestive line here - all lines are available at this time. If you're still with me, thanks for listening.

The state of popular rock today is disasterous at best. The only reason i turn on the radio at all is to try and enter the odd contest or two. I was reading an article last week on Default, one of the several recent Nickelback assembly-line bands. It was talking about how Chad Kroeger from Nickelback had a hand in discovering and producing Default, Theory of a Dead Man, and one or two others. I had the radio on in the background waiting for a contest announcement, and the top 6 songs of the day were playing, and like 3 of the 6 songs were by these bands i was reading about, and i swear you couldn't have paid me to tell you who was who. As my boy Matty likes to say, these bands, and specifically Kroeger, are milking the corporate cash cow.

This is also a testament to the sad state of affairs that is Canadian rock radio, as i'm sure the States serves up some hard rockin' radio action that puts us to shame, but unfortunately i'm just a tad too far across the border to grab the US stations clearly. There are a couple of exceptions, such as the Chili Peppers and John Mayer that have been on the charts lately, but unfortunately these are overshadowed by the cookie-cutter corporate rock slop. The Vines, Hives, White Stripes, Strokes, etc. are a welcome diversion but i think this is just another passing fad of throwing back to another era and won't catch on with any sort of longevity. I hope i'm wrong there.

So give me a live Dead or Phish show, a Zeppelin or Hendrix cd, or hell even love-em or hate-em some older Oasis stuff! And turn off your radio.
UPDATE...

Now that Sweet Al has opened up the can of worms that is "Chad Kroeger stories", i gotta add in my 2 cents. Was recently chatting with my buddy Yas, who had the "opportunity" to play on a Nickelback festival bill outside of Edmonton this past summer with his band Project Wyze. Seems Yas and the boys were running late for the show, and also a bit lost. They pull into a gas station for directions and saw a huge 4x4 pickup truck with 2 "classic Nickelback fans" sitting in the back - huge pumped-up jock-type-dudes rocking their neatly manicured hair and mandals. So Elie, their bass player hangs out the window of the van and yells "Nickelback, yaaaaaaaa!" in a mocking fashion, and the jocks look over and give the classic smirking nod to the boys. They are laughing pretty hard at this point, and then they hear strains of Nickelback coming from inside the truck - they are pulling the classic concert sin of listening to the band on the way to the show! (Live show recordings are an exception to this rule.) So the boys are losing it now, and they pull the van up a bit to look inside the truck. Across in the passenger seat of the truck is actually Chad Kroeger, and he's not listening to Nickelback, he's listening to his solo song Hero from the Spider Man movie! The boys are literally pissing themselves with laughter now, and Chad looks over and sees this and must be thinking that they are hysterical fans noticing that he's the one in the truck, so he flashes them the smirking nod, in combination with the metal sign!!! I think only 2 of the guys actually pissed themselves, while the others needed medical attention upon arrival to the show. The moral of the story - Chad Kroeger - what a tool!!!!!

Yesterday, during my daily surfing and random blog viewing, i came across a simple recipe for a drink called Lava Rocks. It sounds like the perfect kick-in-the-ass drink for computer geeks and anyone else that works into the wee hours either by necessity or by choice. I can't wait to try this rocket fuel!

Lava Rocks
1 can Dr. Pepper
2-3 coffee ice cubes (pour fresh, cooled-off coffee into ice trays and freeze)
1 tall glass

Place coffee cubes into tall glass, pour in Dr. Pepper, let sit for a few minutes allowing ice to start melting and enjoy.

If anyone has tried this out, either before or after this posting, drop in and share your wired experience!

I am by no means an activist, but this story comes down to basic levels of humanity, or lack thereof. I'm sure some of you have heard about this, but a Nigerian woman is currently sentenced to death by stoning for having a child out of wedlock. There is currently an Open Letter to the Nigerian President that you can sign online to try and help overturn this ruling.

...Survivor 5 is underway! I was pretty stoked about this version of Survivor since i missed the last 2 when i was over in Budapest. Some new twists off the top added a nice touch - selecting of the tribes was cool and we ended up with the young guns on one side and the golden oldies on the other. First instincts tell me that the young tribe, Sook Jai, although having their share of hotheads and idiots (they paddled their boat to the island backwards!), have the initial advantage. The older tribe, Chuay Gahn, were all family-like off the top, but threw me for a loop at the end by forming a mini anti-John voting alliance instead of dumping the useless Ghandia.

Prediction for next week: That will come back to haunt them, and Chuay Gahn will be back at tribal council next week to give Ghandia the boot.

What did you think of the first episode and who will go next week?

I had my fix of The Sopranos season 4 first episode last night. Not too shabby - you can see the setups being laid out nicely. Some decent funny lines (Bobby, confused, saying Quasimodo predicted the 9/11 attacks, not Nostradamus) are to be had and all characters are accounted for. The fact that it's quite likely Tony will try to sack the hot female FBI agent is hilarious - then both Junior and Tony will have been brought down by women. But i'm getting ahead of myself here. My main point is that not having a satellite dish, not getting HBO and not paying for the movie channel up here, i jumped on Kazaa to search for the episode. I found it - a pre-air full version - along with episodes 2, 3 and 4. So if anyone is itching for some advance viewing and doesn't mind watching on a computer monitor, search them out and get your fix! If not, fuggetaboudit.

I don't normally like to "instruct" people on how to go about their daily functions, but i've seen and heard too many people complain about losing a just-composed email message after hitting send, having an online submission or blog entry disappear or having a computer freeze after typing up a Word document for the last half hour. Here are my 2 simple tips that i live by in my daily work habits:

1. Hit Ctrl-S religiously. When there is a momentary break in the typing mayhem, performing this split-second action can "save" hours of re-typing grief.


2. Select and copy the body of your online entry (email, blog, etc) before sending or submitting. Again, this takes but a second, but when the freeze hits, pasting your email message back into a blank email is soooo much sweeter than re-typing the same thing prefaced with "Fucking email account!"
   

After a brief commented discussion about 90210 over at Amy's blog, i started once again jonesing for a fix of the only show i've ever seen every episode of (i'm really close on Seinfeld, Friends and The Sopranos). Laugh if you will (and i'm sure many of you are) but 90210 was a kickass show, especially in the early years with bitchy Brenda and friends. And Dylan was the fucking man, all the way through until he left and again when he came back. So i dug up a full episode listing, complete with overviews of each show. If you were a fan this is a fun resource to browse. You can also study up here for one of my future top 5 lists (hint hint). ;)

I wasn't planning on posting today, because what can you really say that hasn't already been said and felt a million times? I just wanted to say that for anyone that was living out of the country one year ago today (i was in Budapest, Hungary) it feels "right" to be back living in North America today. The isolation i felt being removed from family and friends here at that time, and not knowing when or if i could make it back, was an emptiness i never want to feel again and has given me an entirely new appreciation for my country. It's good to be home.

I'm not sure how my buddy Todd found this, but he said he and his wife spent a while browsing the "catalog"! I'm not sure what exactly the target market is for this product - perhaps very rich, bored, horny, ugly and slightly disturbed men? Actually there is one option for the females as well. What exactly am i talking about? Why the RealDoll, of course! Browse the site at your own discretion! Excuse me while i go open a savings account.

Enjoy the long weekend everybody!

Hitting my blog today seems to start a "download blog as" file message. What the fuck?! If anyone else is getting this can you please leave a comment here and i can look into fixing something that i don't know what's wrong with, if that makes sense?! Thanks.

Ok, here's my breakdown of the MTV awards last night. Sandwiched between an amazing opening performance and a horrific closing one was the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good

• The Boss - great song, great performance, and the fucking Boss with the E Street Band - a highlight of the night for me for sure.


• Jimmy Fallon's lampooning of artists during the opening number.


• James Brown - sure he looks like he's about to keel over, but it's the Godfather of Soul.


• The performances of Sheryl Crow, Shakira (great intro with the percussionists surrounding her), The Hives and The Vines (providing real rock actually played live).


• Pink accepting her award drunk.


• Eminem scared to be "interviewed" by a puppet.


• Sammy Hagar to Diamond Dave - "I don't need the money yet, Dave."

The Bad

The rest of the show, with emphasis on The Ugly, below.

The Ugly

• Axl's pathetic attempt at reviving the GnR experience, without GnR! Appeared he hadn't sang since GnR broke up either.


• J Lo wins the Hip Hop award??!!?


• In one word - Eminem.


• The lip synching, the posing, the outfits, the bloated stage setups, etc.


• Are the Osbournes really still cool?

All in all, not good, with the few exceptions noted above. Am i just getting old or does the current state of "popular" music really suck this much ass? I'm hoping for the latter.

If anyone is now jonesing for a little dose of musical integrity, please read this recent article by John Densmore. It will bring back some faith, i promise. (noted at Kill Ugly Radio.)

This article was in the London Free Press today. A couple is suing Air Canada for 5 million for losing their cat on a flight to San Fran. A couple of disturbing facts are mentioned here, including 5000 animals yearly lost or killed by airline industry, and liability is usually around $14 per pound, as if your pet was just some lost luggage. This is pretty insane. A friend of mine also had a cat lost by the airline and after several stressful days, was luckily found and in perfect health. I hope this lawsuit succeeds and the airlines get their heads out of their asses and start treating animal passengers with a lot more TLC.

To borrow a quote from Dumb and Dumber - "Seniors, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose" - and that purpose is to scam us into thinking they are helpless! I was waiting in line with my buddy Wilby at the Tim Hortons to grab a coffee before a movie (saw Blue Crush - better than it looks in previews - great surfing footage!) and the server says "next", and we go to step up when 2 grandmas blindside us and are placing their order before we could open our mouths! Fair enough - no worries - carry on old ladies. So i go grab a table as Wilby is finishing with our order, and the grandmas are seated beside me. Then one grandma grabs some garbage that was left on their table, gets up, walks over to where i'm sitting and dumps it onto our table! So i'm scratching my head, Wilby sits down with the coffees and double chocolate timbits, and i relay the story to him. So Wilby doing what he does, pipes up to the grandmas and says "excuse me, did you just put your garbage on our table while my friend was actually sitting here?" And she goes "Yes, well, it's not my garbage!" She's hassling us over garbaging OUR table!

So keep your eye on the helpless looking seniors as they brush by you on their way to the counter, washroom, door, etc. - they may be heading for your wallet!

So i was at my sister's stag and doe last night up in Waterloo. Had a good time with some "liberal" pouring of the rye and gingers. I guess it pays to be in the wedding party. Tried my damndest to win the putter at the buck-a-putt game, but to no avail. I was entered in the draw 4 times, as i went 4 for 9 on the putting range. My dad was there for what seemed like all night, and ended up going an embarrassing 2 for 16! Needless to say he was spotted at the practice range early this morning working on his short game. I did snag a Wilson golf hat and towel though as second prize, so i didn't leave empty handed, just empty walleted. All the best to my sister and Chris, my future and only brother-in-law.

Things noted on the drive home today: Saw a van that said "Hangover Holidays" on the side. Upon closer inspection it actually said "Hanover Holidays". My vision must have been slightly blurred from my hangover. Also noted that i know less than half the words to many of my favourite songs on my mix tapes, as i was trying to sing along. In my defense, i could probably drum through every one of those songs blindfolded and drunk. :)

Hey, all. I've asked my boy Matty to drop in here and there to wax poetic when the mood strikes him. His first post is below, and will be kept in the Big Finger category. He's the only other one with posting privileges on this blog, so show him some lovin'.

This is just funny. Read all about an actual study on the "beer-goggle effect". Well i guess that now quantifies the "Went to bed at 2 with a 10 and woke up at 10 with a 2" theory. Crazy Brits eh? (noted at Rugged Cow.)

I have only recently been exposed to the sweet idea of Photoshop Tennis. The concept is quite simple - throw a layered .psd file back and forth between you and another "player", adding a single layer of whatever you want to the file, while maintaining some element of the layer below it. This sounds like a great way to brush up on some Photoshop skillz. Check out some of these matches that went on in competition for the RGB Cup (noted from Zeldman).

If anyone is up for a match, maybe over a few days, not hours, drop me a line and maybe we can start one up for some fun and practice.

And yes, i do realize this sounds like a "geeky" post. :)

So it was my boy Mattay's (a.k.a. Big Finger; old n' busted) b-day last night - the big three-oh. I'm making this post so i'll remember it (aug. 12, right?) next year, contrary to my man code requirements. Hope it was a good one, bro.

A side note: I'm not sure if i'm disturbed by or in awe of the fact that the compilation cd set we were listening to contained tracks ranging from Ratt to Foghat to REO Speedwagon. ?????

Ok, so i've "greened" the blog to slowly move it away from it's original template look. The next step is to completely customize the blog with a few graphics, etc. Maybe keep the green one as a style alternative. Ahh, the beauty of the style sheet. Since nobody is reading this blog yet i'm allowed to make dumb posts like this one, for testing purposes of course. The next one should be a real post - promise.

Hi there kids! Just testing out the new Movable Type weblog system. So far so good - i'll keep you "posted"!!