Let's say you have two friends named Jack and Jane. They have been romantically involved for two years, and the relationship has always been good. Then one day Jack calls you and sadly mutters, "Jane just broke up with me." You ask why this happened. Jack says, "She thinks I cheated on her." You ask, "Well, did you?" Jack says, "I'm not sure. Something strange happened."

This is what Jack proceeds to tell you:

"There is this woman in my apartment building who I barely know. I've seen her in the hallway a few times, and we've just sort of nodded our hellos. She is very normal looking, neither attractive nor unattractive. Last week, I came home from the bar very drunk, and I ran into her while I was getting my mail. She was drunk, too. So just to be neighbourly, we decided to go to her apartment to have one more beer. But because we were intoxicated, the conversation was very loose and slightly flirtatious. And then she suddenly tells me that she has a bizarre sexual quirk: She can have an orgasm only if a man watches her masturbate. This struck me as fascinating, so I started asking questions about why this was. And then - somehow - it just sort of happened. I never touched her and I never kissed her, but I ended up watching this woman masturbate. And then I went home and went to bed. I told Jane about this a few days later, mostly because it was all so weird. But Jane went fucking insane, and she angrily said our relationship was over. Now she won't even return my calls."

Whose side do you take, Jack's or Jane's? (Klosterman, 2005)

I have two questions for you today, brought on by A: watching The Devil's Rejects last night and B: the first song playing on my clock radio when the alarm went off this morning.

A) How many people have actually run out of gas? I mean, have had your car stall out from under you while you were driving and had to call for help or walk for a can of gas?

B) Is anybody's choice for favourite band of all time ever The Cult?