Let's say you have two friends named Jack and Jane. They have been romantically involved for two years, and the relationship has always been good. Then one day Jack calls you and sadly mutters, "Jane just broke up with me." You ask why this happened. Jack says, "She thinks I cheated on her." You ask, "Well, did you?" Jack says, "I'm not sure. Something strange happened."
This is what Jack proceeds to tell you:
"There is this woman in my apartment building who I barely know. I've seen her in the hallway a few times, and we've just sort of nodded our hellos. She is very normal looking, neither attractive nor unattractive. Last week, I came home from the bar very drunk, and I ran into her while I was getting my mail. She was drunk, too. So just to be neighbourly, we decided to go to her apartment to have one more beer. But because we were intoxicated, the conversation was very loose and slightly flirtatious. And then she suddenly tells me that she has a bizarre sexual quirk: She can have an orgasm only if a man watches her masturbate. This struck me as fascinating, so I started asking questions about why this was. And then - somehow - it just sort of happened. I never touched her and I never kissed her, but I ended up watching this woman masturbate. And then I went home and went to bed. I told Jane about this a few days later, mostly because it was all so weird. But Jane went fucking insane, and she angrily said our relationship was over. Now she won't even return my calls."
Whose side do you take, Jack's or Jane's? (Klosterman, 2005)
Posted by scotty at October 17, 2006 07:40 AMSince when am I a Yankee?
Nascar's alright but I prefer motorcross.
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!
XOXO
I will forgive you Batman since you are actually a Yankee....maybe talk a little Hockey....not crap basketball or baseball......what next Nascar?
Yeeee-Haaaw Pa!
What the fuck is going on here.....I leave town for a week and all hell breaks loose!
Posted by: metal vagina on October 30, 2006 03:57 PMFigured that Gay would have bad taste in sports aswell!!Those who cant play hate the game-which Im surprised by because your at least tall, least you can do is stand under the basket and block w\your big bad self!
Anthony parker&chris bosh are fine players.
You forgot to spell check your entry facker!
XOXO
Basketball=Sucks ass.....I would rather watch a Scrabble Tournament on TV.....Raptors have done well in pre-season before only to be blown away the rest of the actual season.....since the Raptor's have no great superstars they dont sit many duruing pre-season games....while the rest of the NBA teams give limted court time to their super-stars during pre-season.....hence false sense of reality.
Sabres look good...no denying that...too bad their jerseys bite the big one almost as bad the the Islanders play!!! I am sure Vag will gloat in his glorious way that all I can find wrong is the Jersey's....st least Buffalo was able to tie the Leaf's record of best start outta the gate!
I am sure Nostridomis predicted the complete choke of the Tiger's in the big show in one of his books.
Posted by: Jay on October 30, 2006 11:45 AMI DID!!!
In other sports news-who knew Tigers sucked so bad?...
spry's in! nice. also, at least the sabres' streak is finally over so we can now concentrate on other more interesting stories, like perhaps the raptors almost undefeated pre-season! who saw that coming?
Posted by: scotty on October 30, 2006 07:39 AMOk... well I figured I'd jump in with another girl's opinion because this topic sure started a conversation last night because of my feelings about cheaters.
Do I think it's cheating? No, I'd walk out on a cheater, but I'd probably forgive this. Wrong? Hell ya.
I don't care if my bf goes to the rippers, I was even gonna go along last night, but this is a personal setting where anything could happen and there are no witnesses. And don't tell me that I should trust my bf enough to be honest because I would've trusted him to respect me enough to not put himself in the situation to begin with. So if i'm at a guy friend's house and he decides to jerk off in front of me, it's ok as long as I don't touch him and he doesn't get any on me? Apparently so.
Ya, it's nice that Jack told Jane about what happened, but my ex told me he cheated too and thought he didn't deserve me breaking up with him because he told the truth. Fuck that.
Girlfriends can't go everywhere... hell, what guy wants her there all the time? But she's not a bad gf for not going out. It doesn't mean the guy's been ditched, needing to find some chick to fuck to make himself feel better or want to cheat.
Forgivable? Yes. Forgettable? Probably not.
Posted by: Spry on October 29, 2006 08:20 PMGiven the design of their new uniforms I feel they should be called the Buffalo Tupee's since the new design has no resemblence to a Buffalo....well maybe on an episode of the Jetson's.
Posted by: Jay on October 29, 2006 04:49 PMLittle late on this post as I have been asked to deliver a message... a message about the greatest team in the world ... what team you ask ... the buffalo sabers of course... after ripping through Scotty’s islanders (obvious outcome) we continued our streak of domination through out the league. I feel so bad for u all, cheering for such pathetic squads such as long island and the of course the leafs... when will you all learn ...sad. Give in and join the army of sabers nation ... a you will have a taste of Lord Stanley’s glory
Posted by: marty party on October 29, 2006 01:57 AMTo quote the legend (Metal Vag): "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Posted by: Killerov on October 28, 2006 06:06 AMScotty,
If I can still move after running my Half-Marathon on Saturday I will be sure to stop by and say "hi"
Did Batman write something? All I really saw was blah... blah.... blah.... blah.
"previous existance(sp) EXISTENCE" I didn't realize Scotty had parished at some point? Maybe that's why there were no posts....glad to see you have been resurrected. I guess this means we need to now call you "Messiah Scotty"
**I think you meant previous effort...job...duty?
Plus I have never actually stated I hate Zeppelin...but I will say while I own "vintage" Zeppelin on vinyl and wouldnt buy new reprinted boxset....aside from their first album....alot of their songs sounds the same.
Boring!
Also, the song they are noted for most "Stairway to Heaven"...while Jimmy Page does have an amazing solo in the song....they ripped off the beginning from a song called "Taurus" from a band called "Spirit" that they toured with on their first American Tour.
As for replacing Scotty....I would never attempt to do that. He is a great writer and when he does post he puts a lot into it. I assume he is busy with real life and all I wanted to do was to add a little somthin' somthin' while we all waited for a post from him. I assume no sarcasm from me would be like Vagina not being the "King if Fingering Chicks.
"Although maybe if he is stuck for time we could each take turns doing a top 5 and email him them so he can format it properly????
Cheers,
Posted by: Jay on October 27, 2006 03:21 PMbarney's on saturday night, everyone. the fairmonts will ride! (costumes/no costumes to be determined.)
Posted by: scotty on October 27, 2006 09:58 AMYa Gay, give it your all lets see if you can come even remotely close to living up to the great drummers previous existance!!
-Only Vagina really hates Zeppelin the rest just like to get me fired up
-Also keep in mind ScAtty next to always remains calm and takes no sides when it comes to us all going into a rampage and bashing the hell out of eachother-do you think you can keep your big pie hole closed for those?!?!?
B E S T O F L U C K!!!!
P.S ScAtty-I finally re-strung and tuned "Bugs" she sounds beautiful!!!!
Happy Halloween everyone, I'll be in town Saturday afternoon house shopping and possibly for Greg Goss's new house bash Sunday...look out for Dog the Bounty Hunter & wife Beth(me)...XOXO
-QUICK QUESTION-I HEARD ON THE WRIF THIS MORNING THAT ITS ONLY FAIR THAT ALL UGLY PEOPLE GET THEIR CHANCE TO GET LAID ON HALLOWEEN...SO IM JUST WONDERING IF THATS VAGINA AND GAY JAYS BEST NIGHTS OUT??-
gay you're hired. please report for duty prior to next tuesday.
management
Posted by: scotty on October 27, 2006 02:19 AMoh ya..... very nice!
Posted by: the bri man on October 26, 2006 08:40 AMFuck Gay...Another good one!
You See Scotty...I need this. Ya sure I play golf on the weekends. I hate playing golf.
Posted by: Killerov on October 26, 2006 01:58 AMPress Release from ineedmorecowbell.com staff:
Cowbell is now accpeting resumes for the Top 5 Tuesday Post.
Requirements:
1) Must have spent at least 5 nights drinking at the Palace.
2) Knows that Saigon Kick is a band and that it is not being kicked by a Vietnamese person.
3) Must have been hit on(women) or slobbered on (guys) by Killer or Vag at least once.
4) Hates Zeppelin and will proof read Batman's posts before they appear.
6) Make sure that there is at least an event twice a year where Chili is required to make her world famous Caesar Salad.
7) Will never allow C2K to reunite and that there is free beer at all Fairmonts shows hor all ineedmorecowbell card carrying members.
8) Allow Scotty to make guest posts once a month since once a week is too much.
Hey Vag....WTF's up w/da Sabers Dude? You pulling out pixie dust or what?
Posted by: Killerov on October 24, 2006 01:45 AMSTOP YELLING!
Posted by: metal vagina on October 22, 2006 03:54 PMNOPE NO PARTYS WITH KILLER, PROB CAUSE YOU HAD TO FLEA THE COUNTRY TO EVADE THE DEBT COLLECTORS BEFORE I WAS OF AGE TO DRINK LOL NO WORRIES BUDDY YOU MAKE IT BACK HERE AND WE WILL DO'ER UP OR POSSIBLY A TRIP TO MOTHER RUSSIA?.... SCOTTY,VAG,BRIMAN ... NEXT YEAR
Posted by: martyparty on October 21, 2006 10:14 PMMartyPartyPants obviously has never partied w/Killer! You Loser! If you have, i don't remember you! Therefore, you did't party enough!
Posted by: Killerov on October 20, 2006 10:50 PMSo I think everyone knows where im gonna go with this ... no way in hell its cheating!
First of all why is the chick not happy with her man for telling her the truth about what happened ... second how is it different than going to some wicked strippers with a bunch of buddies ( if he’s "not aloud" to do that than two years was way too long of a relationship with that bitch) Third and maybe most important why wasn’t this chick with her man drinking and having a good time, taking him home and doing fucked up shit to him as so he wouldn’t want to "cheat"
The bf and I are deciding between London & Guelph to move for a change of scenery...any apartment ideas?job ideas?and this is fair warning that Im gonna kick your ass when Im in town Gay!:) JK XOXO
Posted by: Batman on October 20, 2006 10:46 AMThat's right Pauls! It's not like a man and a woman jumped out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a blind fold!
Posted by: Killerov on October 19, 2006 02:33 AMTough one!
If I was Jack, I wouldn't have told Jane.
Killer makes a good point - does watching a stipper or porn for that matter count as cheatting??
If I was Jane, and found this out, I would probably be pretty pissed off. As for breaking up with Jack, I most likely wouldn't take it that far. It would deffinitely raise some trust issues. But, if we were together for that long and everything else in the relationship was good, then I would let it go.
Posted by: Pauls on October 18, 2006 07:59 PMHa!Ha!Ha! scAtty the S.T.D up to his old tricks :) kidding XOXO
Posted by: Batman on October 18, 2006 01:01 PMSo,
Let's get this straight.
My girlfriend gets absolutely hammered without me one night.
She meets some ordinary acquaintance and goes back to his apartment with him.
She has a beer and he ends up jerking all over himself in her presence.
And I.. have.. no... problem... with that???
Sounds fantastic in theory.
Forgivable - yes.
Forgettable???
I just wanna know one thing - Scotty - why'd ya do it? ROTFLOL!!!! JK.
:D
Big Love All.
http://www.TheMusicalRevolution.com/weblog
First of all...that guy is an IDIOT! You don't go and babble shit like that to your girlfriend...that's guy only talk at the bar or on a road trip! Fucking Pussy!
For the record..it's not cheating! I mean is it cheating because you went to the Oxford Ballet and got a facelift?...I THINK NOT!
your a funny guy jay.
iam also a loyal gf.i would never put myself in that position but i was putting myself in janes shoes not jacks now wasnt i.
Ha ha ha...thanks for clearing that up for us. All you did was say the same thing in a different way and double track back and contradict yourself. I hear Costco has Club Packs of Brain Cells cheap this week.
And if I think if I was with someone for two years and the relationship was actually good....I would have more respect for the person I was with...regardless of if I thought watching was right or wrong and wouldn't take the chance of upsetting my g/f. If I liked the idea....I'd ask my g/f to do it instead.
Posted by: Jay on October 17, 2006 02:12 PMpretty sure my thoughts and questions are still relative to the situation faggot.
ill put myself in her shoes again for gays sake...nope still dont consider it cheating...didnt touch her sure there was flirting but thats harmless...only thing that would make me uneasy about the situation would be that b\c he watched out of curiousity and would of obviously been turned on by it id wonder if he'd become more curious over time and eventually go all the way!
but with that in mind i would just WIN and both masturbate 2gether while watching a porn.
xo
What a surprise only took Batman a few posts to go off topic.
You say you see no problem with it "yet you are not in Jane's situation right now? The point is to put yourself in her situation and draw a conclusion.
Back to the point at hand......with the little I know of the woman's psyche I would assume that most would be pissed at the situation and honestly if the roles were reversed I probably would be too. But then I ease my pain by pounding the guy.
But even in a drunken state if you are willing to put yourself in that type of situation...then contrary to the beginning of the story....all is not well in the relationship.
Moral of the story...I would feel bad for the chick if she was a friend....but would still be buds Sherk to stop being a jackass and that if he was going to do it again....to at least finger her!
Posted by: Jay on October 17, 2006 11:53 AMi would deem co-masterbating as cheating, yes. i still have to add my 2 cents to the whole situation, just want to see what everyone else thinks first!
Posted by: scotty on October 17, 2006 10:37 AMquestion to throw out there...
does it count as cheating if while she was masturbating-he started to aswell to the sight of her????hmm
weird.
are you in a relationship?and if so how do they handle?lol
I can't even begin to how many times that this exact situation has happened to me after the bar.
Posted by: the-bri-man on October 17, 2006 09:22 AMBecause he didnt 'touch' this other woman I see no problem BUT Im also not in "Janes" situation right now...
Posted by: Batman on October 17, 2006 08:38 AM