JB Three - The Follow-up

Hey again, y'all. Here's the awaited follow-up to JB's posting from yesterday - in the tried-and-true IT report format. If you like this one let us know by commenting and i'll try and dig up other classics, such as "The Hot Karl". I give to you for some Friday fun... The S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R.

The “S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R”

In most cases it takes years of R&D to bring new technologies from the drawing board to your office environment. But with recent advances in “STRANGER” research, technology giant IBM aims to change all that.

What is a “S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R”?

The S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R or (Self Titillating Response Anomalous Neo-Genital Exercise Regimen) is not a new concept. In fact, research indicates that as early as the 1950's systems Engineers for both NASA and IBM's Big Blue Mainframe were engaging in rigorous testing of primitive STRANGER-related technologies.

In basic terms a S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R is the practice of allowing one of your hands/arms to fall “asleep” (until the universally recognizable “pins and needles” effect has been achieved) and then proceed to masturbate oneself to orgasm.

Features & Benefits

Most of you are probably wondering “Why is it called a Stranger? And what kind of benefit will it have to my life? Right? The answers to both are contained within its very name.

Since childhood many of us have been taught two simple sayings that best illustrate why the S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R is so appealing. You all must remember the old saying that “a “stranger” is just a friend you haven't met yet” and “if you can't be with the one you love...love the one you're with."

A S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R adds a whole new dimension to masturbatory fantasy. Who hasn't been working late and fantasized about an anonymous hand job from that hot blonde secretary in Accounting that always wears those tight skirts and no bra? Or ladies, who hasn't craved a “little talk with the hand” of that yummy bottled water delivery boy working his way through med school?

Now there is no more need to wonder what that might feel like. With a S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R, self-abuse was never more exciting. Just close your eyes and imagine being masturbated to a full relaxing orgasm by the person (or persons) of your choice.

Action Plan

By now most of you are probably sold on the idea of the S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R but aren't sure where to start. The key is take it slow. Just like your first trip to the bedroom with a new partner, give yourself time to get used to a different technique. Listed below are a few tips to maximize your encounter with a “S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R”:

1. Avoid use of narcotics to induce numbing in your arms and hand. Researchers in the 50's used this method but quickly observed that the drugs also delayed orgasm in both male and female test subjects.
2. For best results try to induce the “pins and needles” effect in the entire hand and forearm region. While this requires more manipulation with your other arm the results are well worth the effort.
3. If you prefer a quickie simply sit on the hand of your choice for 10-15 minutes. The weight of you backside region will easily cut off circulation and result in delightfully unpredictable masturbatory session that will help take a bit of the edge off.
4. For purists there is really only one kind of S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R. The full arm version of the S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R is a much more full-bodied and enjoyable experience. If you do opt for this method here are a few tips:

   For the Guys: Use easily available office supplies like scotch tape to tape your hand into the “holding of the beer” position thus allowing for variances in personal girth. For a tighter feel that more closely mimics anal penetration use duct tape and wrap in tightly around the entire circumference of this desired hand.

   For the Ladies: scotch tape or masking tape should be used to tape down all fingers except the middle finger which should look like you are giving someone the bird (in reality it is your bird that is going to get the finger!). Next try to locate a small rubber finger guard used for flipping through large stacks of files...you know, the one that looks like a rubber thimbal. This will add a French tickler effect. Note: if lubrication is problem simply use a little saliva and you'll be well on your way.

The Bottom Line

Next time you are alone in the office late at night simply remember the mottos your parents taught you so long ago - “A stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet”. And don't forget to alternate hands once in a while. After all it wouldn't be a S.T.R.A.N.G.E.R anymore if you got to be too familiar, would it?

Posted by scotty at December 05, 2002 10:27 PM