Good evening, all. JB has checked back in this week with not one, but two pieces for your twisted enjoyment. I don't want to overwhelm you guys by posting both at once, and you'll also need time to pick yourselves up off the floor after reading this post, so i'll save the second one for a day or so. Embracing the celebrated and well-received "list" format, i give you week 2 of JB.

Greetings from Budapest. I am glad you all enjoyed last week's top 10 list. For those who were disturbed or offended I would like to point out that Corky is a fictional character with a fictional incestuous and misogynist need to sodomize and ejaculate in his sisters ocular cavities. That being said, the Fonz actually did utter the words contained in last week's #9 entry on the short-lived ABC series “Joanie Does Chachi”.

This week I would like to add my two cents to a very important social issue; HIV+AIDS. Since it was international AIDS week recently I would like to include an article that not only promotes safe sex but also can add a much needed “shot in the arm” to your love life (see tomorrow’s post). But first, a brand new top 10 list to wet your appetites (among other things).

Top 10 Things That Seemed Like A Good Idea At the Time

1. Adding Richard Gere to the cast of Hammy Hamster for some much needed “Star Power”.
2. Putting Keith Richards in charge of your stash of heroin while you are out of town for the weekend.
3. In a last ditch attempt at ratings - allowing Chris “Corky” Burke to wrestle in a steel cage handicapped match against WWF superstars The Iron Sheik and Leaping Lanny Poffo.
4. A special 20th anniversary edition “The Girls of Facts of Life” issue of Penthouse.
5. Trojan “Tabasco lubricated” condoms-for her pleasure and yours.
6. Letting Macy Gray's prescription for Thorazine go unfilled.
7. Giving a young Michael Jackson copies of the controversial best-sellers “How to grow up to be a complete fucking freak show” and “So you want to look like Diana Ross but you are a young black man with a well-groomed afro”.
8. Piercing your ass cheeks together with several metal loops so that when you fart it sounds like wind chimes.
9. Getting that “XFL Forever” tattoo on both of your forearms.
10. Trading Doug Gilmour for Gary Leaman.