Wassup everyone. As mentioned on my homepage, JB will be providing me with posts every week or two to accent the blogging madness already contained here. I have added a new "JB" category to keep all of his deranged writings in one handy location. A word of caution for the weak-of-heart - many sexually explicit references are made within the works - all for comedic value of course. So if you are like me and enjoy some good raw humour - is there anyone who doesn't piss pants when hearing Delirious? - then this will be right up your alley. If not, you can send your hate mail to whydontyougooutsideandplayhideandgofuckyourself@hotmail.com. If you care to read on hit the "more" and bring the noise!

My name is JB and I am one of the Original 4. That is to say I am one of the 4 intrepid lads who set off to Budapest, Hungary with the lovely and talented Scotty “One Hour Shower” Finlayson. Incidently for those of you over 18 I am also the author of such riveting literature as “Homosexuality and IT” and that timeless classic “The Hot Karl”. I am also soon to be the last of 4 lads who still remains here Budapest... but with 50 cent beer, 2 dollar smokes, and the complete non existence of the term “last call” I think I will dwell here a while longer.

Today I would like to introduce a new section called:

Down With The Syndrome

This section doesn't really have a regular format so it could be absolutely anything from incoherent rants to haiku poems about red pubic hair baked into a muffin I had in Vienna. In fact the name of the column will also change every week which will prevent the creation of an easy to use Template for Scotty but will hopefully provide much laughter for the rest of you. For this weeks entry I will begin with the tried and tested top 10 list format.

This weeks topic: Top 10 unintentional sexual innuendo quotations from your favorite TV shows that sadly ended up on the cutting room floor.

1. Life Goes On (Corky to his sister) “I know you are my sister but I'll still stick my big juicy down syndromed cock up your tight little ass and blow my load in your eye....bitch”
2. Dukes of Hazzard (Luke to Daisy Duke) “Hell ya I can eat pussy through your tacky tan coloured panty hose”
3. Dukes of Hazzard (Uncle Jesse to Boss Hogg) “Let me see how boss your “hogg” really is big boy”
4. Miami Vice (Castillo to Tubbs) “Do you think Crockett would mind if I used one of his mesh deck shoes to masturbate my little pock-marked dick to orgasm?”
5. Golden Girls (Blanche to Dorothy) “Really Dorothy you can be such a prude sometimes... it was only a little kiss on the cheek and some spirited anal fisting.
6. Star Trek:The Next Generation (Captain Picard to Mr. Worf) “Mr Worf! Replicate the KY and send Wesley to my quarters....I want to show him the captains “log”....
7. Different Strokes (Kimberly to Willis) “ Oh Willis you make me so wet with that big black schlong of yours...not like that little bitch brother of yours Arnold. Now lets smoke a lid of grass and do some ludes.
8. Facts of Life (Tootie to Blair's retarded comedian cousin Jerri) “ No Jerri I will not lick your sweaty little box until you leave a snail trail on my face and pubes in my braces”
9. Happy Days (The Fonz to Chachi) “Correctamundo! Once your pull out of her ass stick it in her mouth and blow your load....ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."
10. Little House on The Prarie (Laura to Charled Ingles) “Ah Paw....do I have to eat Nellie Olson's hairy snatch while Albert pulls out the anal beads?”


Posted by scotty at November 28, 2002 08:11 PM