Just got back from a pretty sweet long weekend in Muskoka, but more on that later. To the task at hand, the Top 5 Tuesday listing. This one goes out to my boy Matty, who laughs with me every time as we repeat these ad nauseum whenever a few beers are involved. A touch crude, perhaps, but all in good fun eh? ;)
Top 5 "Pick-up Lines"
- "It's not gonna suck itself!"
- "Excuse me, you're standing on my penis."
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
- "Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"
- "Do you have a quarter? My mom told me to call her the moment i fell in love."
And there we have it for this week. Matty, sorry i posted some of your faves first! I'm sure you have a few more in the vaults to post up. Give'er!
Posted by scotty at September 03, 2002 12:29 AMI should have posted a few days ago because 2 or my favs.. are taken..
1: Nice shoes.. wanna fuck?
2: Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can see myself in your pants.
3: My all time fav: Did you get pulled over today by the cops?... Because you've got FINE written all over you.
4: (lick your finger and touch his or her shirt) Ohh no.. your clothes are wet,let me help you take them off
4 outof 5 ain't bad..
nicely assembled, mandy - i'm hoping the diggler line was used on you and not vice versa - and happy birthday as well!
Posted by: scotty on September 4, 2002 11:59 PMWow, I'm really going to have to pick my brain for this one.... here goes.
1. Hey baby, are your legs tired? 'Cause you been runnin' through my mind all night.
2. I only have one night left to live. (then make puppy dog eyes)
3. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
4. Hi, my name is Dirk Diggler. Could I buy you a drink?
5. Wanna make out?
and there you have it folks. we've run the gamut from completely crude to tactful to sweet. thanks for playin, you sickos!
Posted by: scotty on September 4, 2002 11:21 AMDamn!
They're all gone!!
Better try my hand at making up some new ones.
Ladies, let me know if any of these are keepers...
1) Wanna touch my COCK?
2) Can I touch your COCK? JUST KIDDING!!
3) Mmmm... Are those American Eagle Outfitters jeans? *start rubbing her crotch*
4) Yo yo yo BITCH. Wanna fuck me 'till I stop calling you BITCH??
5) You're not funny at all! (Lucky for you) you have sweet hoots.
Yeah I'm an idiot.
Out.
Mattay
I only have 2 because most of the time they are so lame, they aren't worth my brain cells to remember..
1. Hey, babe, want half my gum. note: gum is in his mouth at the time.1
2. Well, if you need any help with your harmonies.. let me know. 2
1: said to me in college
2. said to my next door neighbor who is a singer
what can i say that couldn't possibly be dog like.
damn these fingers.....always gettin' my ass in shite. nobody gets the quotes, and those who do are thoroughly unimpressed. damnnnn!
well, here is my take on the top five
5) hey baby....is that a mirror in your pocket, cause i can see myself in your pants.
4) have you ever taken vocal training? would you like to speak into the mic?
3) you dated my friend joe right? well he said you were the worst lay he ever had, so you gotta let me fuck you cause you can't possibly be as bad as he says you are
2) im the drummer for strange bargain......do you know what a hot carl is?
1) Twenty bucks eh? You take debit?
I don't have 5 all the good ones are taken.
But...
#2) I'm with the band. Wink wink nudge nudge
#1) Any of you ladies know John Selbie? I taught him everything he knows. (London On. bars only)
Al
solid presentation, guy. i think #1's definitely a keeper. not that you'd know, being a fine, upstanding proponent of abstinence and all.
Posted by: scotty on September 3, 2002 02:18 PMOk...I figure I will give this a shot, although I am so not a player. Shut it Finlayson!
1. You smell so good I could eat you...interested?
2. What time do you need to get up tomorrow...I figured I would find out now because later if your mouth isn't full, you will definately be screaming Oh God and that won't really answer my question now will it.
3. Have you ever had the shocker?
4. Would you like to have a tequila_now_and_i_hump_ya_later?
5. Excuse me but if you have 45 minustes or so I would be happy to show why my exes call me magic tongue.
There that was tough, I am all about love and waiting till I am married so this was a stretch.
as they say in Hawaii - "hiawannalayya"
Pete
Posted by: Skinny Pete on September 3, 2002 02:01 PMI really like this top 5 list. You had one of my favorites on your list already Scott. I believe it was number 3.
Here is my list! Some of my favorites, for sure!
1. Nice shoes! Wanna fuck?
2. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Ishmale?
3. Your father must be a theif, because somebody stole the stars and put them in your eyes.
4. "Wanna go back to my place for pizza and a fuck?"
"No!"
"What's the matter, you don't like pizza?"
5. Would you like to see my technique? 'WINK WINK'
So there you have it! My top 5 favorite pick up lines!
Posted by: Pauls on September 3, 2002 01:14 PMhey there shannon. thanks for droppin' by. i'm still waiting for takers on good old #1 there, surprisingly enough! mostly it just makes my friends laugh when i talk about using it, which is good enough for me for now!
Posted by: scotty on September 3, 2002 11:06 AM#1 made me laugh. I'm a fan of crude pickup lines though.. they take a lot of guts. Just curious though, how many times has that one worked?
Posted by: shannon on September 3, 2002 10:41 AMNumber 5 would get a smile from me, I am ashamed to admit. Like any good devotee to date-based silliness, mine are posted.
Posted by: maddy on September 3, 2002 06:19 AM