As promised, after a long hiatus i am posting up a new top 5 for the lads to have a chuckle and bust some more balls after our what can only be deemed as epic stay at Joe Kools during the Canada/USA Gold Medal hockey game. A monster bill (see below), taps running dry, traitorous jerseys, free toques & beer cozys, beer-soaked swackets and lost voices can all be attributed to the glorious day. To anyone outside of our circle reading this, Gay, Vagina and Gerg are actual people. Killer and myself missed the list as we were completely out-gayed.

Top 5 Gayest Things Said During Gold Medal Game Day, Joseph Koolisky's, London ON, Feb. 28, 2010

1. GAY (Vagina, referring to a ball hockey wager, states to Gay that he should but his hockey stick where his mouth is. Gay responds...) "Why don't i put my cock where your mouth is!"
2. GAY "Do you want to know what the average midget penis size is?"
3. VAGINA "Are you going to eat that celery?"
4. VAGINA (As a soft aside to our server...) "Can i have a bunch of lime slices please?"
5. VAGINA (Vag sees Brian Burke on the TV and states with all sincerity...) "That's a really nice haircut!"

Honourable Mentions - GERG: (Locating a toothpick-sized Canada flag within the shared wings, squeals out...) "Yay!"; GAY: (After Vag steals the second spare pickle of the day...) "That's my pickle!"; VAG (aside to Gerg, within what context i have no idea...) "I could grab your balls."

Monday, January 25, 2010
Stage time: 10:50 pm

1 Chinese Democracy
2 Welcome To The Jungle
3 It's So Easy
4 Mr Brownstone

Axl says you can drink vodka, rum, tequila etc as long as the headache is manageable....

5 Sorry
6 Better
7 Richard Fortus guitar solo
8 Live and Let Die
9 If the World
10 Dizzy piano solo
11 Street of Dreams
12 Jam ( a bit on ACDC's TNT )
13 Scraped
14 Rocket Queen
15 DJ Ashba guitar solo
16 Sweet Child O Mine

AXL: Are you having a pleasant evening?

17 Jam/Axl piano solo (asshole song/someone saved my life tonight)
18 November Rain
19 Bumblefoot solo
20 You Could Be Mine
21 Knockin On Heaven's Door (Dedicated to Mojo, Dougie and Eduardo)

Axl: Come On You Bitches Sing!

22 Shacklers Revenge
23.Acoustic Jam
24.Patience
25.Nighttrain

ENCORE
26.Madagascar
27.This I Love (Axls on the piano singing at the end and then jumps off for the final part.)
28.Paradise City

Shots are passed out to the crowd
"Thank you for coming out"
"Thank you to Danko and Sebastian and everybody else who made this possible"

Ron Thal: "Great show tonight in London. Don't know what came over me the end of the show - grabbed my junk & yelled THIS IS MY COCK!! into the mic."

Leave stage: 1:30 am

I may have to craft a version of this article applicable to home use, but the general premise and attitude are captured quite sublimely here. Fix yourself a something on the rocks and enjoy.

How to Drink Alone - Esquire Magazine, June 2008

(You now know why this is my first post in about a year.)

Fab show, setlist and comments stolen from somewhere...

1. A Kiss Before I Go
2. Beautiful Sorta
3. Cold Roses
4. Good Night Rose
5. Dear John
6. Games
7. Let It Ride
8. Freeway to the Canyon (Neal solo)
9. Tears of Gold

Talking to the crowd: "When you're yelling stuff you just sound like cavemen" Ryan starts to grunt. The whole band starts grunting like cavemen.

10. Rescue Blues
11. Dear Chicago
12. Wild Flowers

Talking to the crowd:
Woman: "I want to have your baby!"
Ryan: "Wait I heard that! You think you're having a baby? Listen you should know if you're having a baby. Maybe you just ate some weird Thai food. When I eat spicy food I sometimes feel like I'm going to have a baby."

13. Peaceful Valley
14. Please Do Not Let Me Go
15. Night birds
16. Carolina Rain

Talking to the crowd: "Wow, during that song I threw up a little in the back of my mouth. I felt a little chunk come up...the best part is I swallowed it. I don't have to make out with me. I could eat a bowl of green onions and it would not make a difference with me. My mike smells great now."

17.Magnolia Mountain

Encore
18. Sylvia Plath
Talking to the crowd: "Why are you clapping, I don't even know what I'm going to play. I'm just trying to buy a little time!"

19. Sweet Lil Gal
20. Sweet Carolina